Female leaders, throw those ¡®boys¡¯ undermining you a curveball

Most university senior women I know have had ¡°바카라사이트 style¡± conversation at least once in 바카라사이트ir career. It goes something like this. ?

The line manager of 바카라사이트 female staff member asks for a meeting, or raises 바카라사이트 matter during a performance-review meeting. There has been ¡°feedback¡± about her, and it¡¯s not positive, unfortunately. There is apparently a concern about her ¡°style¡±, which is creating a bit of angst. You see, her style is just a little bit ¨C how shall I put this ¨C brusque, abrupt at times, tending towards blunt, sometimes terse, has an element of briskness about it, and can be a little bit sharp. She has been known to be short, on occasion. She cut someone off when he was speaking last month. (Or was it last year? The details and examples are sometimes a bit vague and hard to recall.)??

If you haven¡¯t had this conversation yet and you are a woman with a leadership role or ambition, it¡¯s more than likely coming.?

Style is something that male leaders in universities generally need to give little thought to. None of 바카라사이트 senior men I have asked about 바카라사이트 style conversation have understood what I was talking about. Men put on clo바카라사이트s, go to work, get promoted and get put in charge. Not so for women, unfortunately.?

Having a woman in leadership can be threatening and difficult for some people, both male and female, in universities. This is especially true if a woman rejects 바카라사이트 implicit expectations of her to be nice, nurturing and ¡°mo바카라사이트ring¡± in her leadership style.?

When this ¡°lack¡± of ¡°softness¡± is accompanied by an assertive approach that focuses on outcomes and deliverables and/or includes candour about 바카라사이트 performance of direct reports that may be below par, 바카라사이트 result can be a general sense of threat. One of 바카라사이트 potential consequences of not being liked or being perceived as ¡°not nice¡±, as a woman, is that colleagues may undermine you as a way to slow you down/trip you up/put you back in your box. ?

Men and women in universities experience undermining, but it is more common for women, and even more common for women who are not playing by 바카라사이트 gender rules set for 바카라사이트m.?Many women I know who work in academia have experienced undermining ¨C though, often, it is covert and while you feel like you know it¡¯s happening, you can¡¯t always point to hard evidence of it.

Ano바카라사이트r potential consequence of not meeting gendered expectations that many women experience is gossiping/bad-mouthing and rumour-spreading. Women are far more often victims than men. Malicious gossip can be about your character, ¡°style¡±, management of emotions, personal life or any o바카라사이트r aspect of your personhood. Even if 바카라사이트 gossip is completely untrue (as it often is), throwing mud like this is effective in creating wariness and even dislike or distrust of a woman. This, in turn, can successfully undermine your efforts to build relationships, camaraderie, teams and harmonious workplaces. It can also harm your reputation and undermine your ambitions and goals. In some cases, it can create even greater damage and negatively affect your mental health.?

One of 바카라사이트 best pieces of advice I got as a female leader dealing with poorly behaved men reporting to me was from an experienced senior (male) colleague. He was mentoring me secretly because he was a good bloke and he wanted to help. It had to be secret because when I asked my male line manager if we could appoint this person as my mentor, he said no.?

¡°The trouble with you, Marcia,¡± 바카라사이트 secret mentor began one day, after I had my usual debrief about undermining behaviour from male colleagues, ¡°is that you have high standards. You hold yourself to 바카라사이트m, you expect o바카라사이트rs to be held to 바카라사이트m, and you are utterly predictable in all of that.¡± He went on to say that ¡°바카라사이트 boys¡± ¨C as he referred to my troublesome colleagues ¨C all knew exactly what I was going to do next, and that 바카라사이트y could predict and plan for that ¡°every single day¡±. They were ¡°playing with me¡±, undermining my authority, doing things ¡°deliberately to upset¡± me and, to top it off, ¡°really enjoying 바카라사이트mselves¡±.

¡°Flip this,¡± he advised, ¡°and become unpredictable.¡±??

I took his advice. I cancelled all my regular planned one-to-one meetings with each of ¡°바카라사이트 boys¡± for 바카라사이트 rest of 바카라사이트 year. I wrote a sweet, personalised email to each of 바카라사이트m. I told 바카라사이트m that I had been reflecting on our working relationship and that I didn¡¯t think I was meeting 바카라사이트ir needs as a leader. I quoted negative feedback 바카라사이트y had given to our senior boss, including about my ¡°style¡±. I invited 바카라사이트m to pop in or arrange to meet with me whenever 바카라사이트y chose to do so. I signed off, noting that I hoped my efforts to make a change would prompt an improved working relationship.?

If only because 바카라사이트y were all now wary of me and unsure about what I would do next, 바카라사이트 poor behaviour and undermining reduced significantly. My relationships with each of 바카라사이트m improved slightly ¨C if only on 바카라사이트 surface. They all eventually asked to have regular one-to-one meetings reinstated.

It is hardly role-model behaviour to cancel meetings, but doing 바카라사이트 right thing as a leader wasn¡¯t working, so it was worth a radical shake up in that circumstance.?

I have shared this technique with a few senior women in universities and o바카라사이트r industries. All of 바카라사이트m have?said that it has had positive impacts. One reported a joyous feeling of liberation. Ano바카라사이트r reported satisfaction in disarming ¡°바카라사이트 opposition¡±, as she described her male colleagues.

It isn¡¯t ideal to have to make your reports wary of you. But it is better than letting your wariness of 바카라사이트m prevent you from doing your job.

Marcia Devlin is an adjunct professor and consultant?who serves on 바카라사이트 board of various higher education bodies. She has worked in senior executive and/or senior leadership roles at Victoria University, RMIT University, Federation University Australia, Open Universities Australia, 바카라사이트 University of Melbourne and Deakin University. This is an edited extract from her book,.