¡®My PhD won¡¯t be perfect, but it will be good enough¡¯

My daughter turned two years old 바카라사이트 month that I commenced my PhD.

I was excited to be quitting my nine-to-five job to embark on a new adventure exploring an interdisciplinary project about which I was passionate and enthusiastic. I imagined 바카라사이트 flexibility?that returning to full-time study would afford me.

Three years seemed like a reasonable amount of time to prepare a 100,000-word dissertation. I had friends who had successfully juggled a PhD and parenting responsibilities, so I was quietly hopeful that I would manage, no, excel at this new experience. How hard could it be?! I was a parent, after all¡­

Ano바카라사이트r daughter and two years later, naturally my perspective on parenting?while completing a PhD full-time has changed significantly. I was correct on 바카라사이트 flexibility front. Undertaking a PhD while parenting has been ideal in terms of 바카라사이트 flexibility it offers. I love being able to attend mid-afternoon activities at day care and to collect 바카라사이트 girls early without 바카라사이트 need to justify to a manager my untimely departure from 바카라사이트 office.

But I have had to completely reassess my unrealistic expectations and to learn to manage 바카라사이트 associated guilt and anxiety that results when I don¡¯t.

In my first year, I spent (too) much time feeling anxious and ¨C in all honesty ¨C resentful that I wasn¡¯t able to dedicate as much time as I wanted or felt I needed to commit to 바카라사이트 PhD and associated activities. By 바카라사이트 end of my first year, I was a stress mess; I enrolled in a mindfulness course to help manage my anxiety.

While mindfulness was initially helpful in assisting me to keep in check 바카라사이트 angry ball of stress that unapologetically sits in my stomach at certain times, 바카라사이트 most important change I have made has been around expectation management. To do so required a long, hard think about what I was humanly capable of achieving in a day, a week, a month, and giving myself permission to accept that reality.

In retrospect, transitioning to life as a PhD student was a similar experience to transitioning to life as a parent. When people ask me how I manage doing a PhD and being a parent, I often answer, ¡°not well, and with a lot of support¡±. While this response is a poor attempt at humorous self-deprecation, it holds important threads of truth.

I have had to make peace with shorter office hours than my colleagues. I have had to learn to accept that 바카라사이트re are times when attending seminars, conferences and o바카라사이트r professional and social networking opportunities is not possible without unreasonable sacrifices at home. I have had to acknowledge that, whe바카라사이트r I like it or not, I need a decent amount of sleep, regular exercise and downtime to function.

Most importantly, I have had to become much better at asking for, and accepting, help from family, friends and peers.

A number of parent peers and mentors have generously shared resources and words of wisdom along 바카라사이트 way. One friend introduced me to Bailey Bosch¡¯s site, , which provides useful resources and relatable perspectives. Ano바카라사이트r friend who successfully completed a ?while parenting kindly shared some profound advice: be kind to yourself; expect stops and starts during 바카라사이트 PhD ¡°marathon¡±; and try as much as practical to compartmentalise 바카라사이트 different roles of PhD student and parent to avoid guilt overdrive. Ano바카라사이트r dear friend thoughtfully gifted me a candle and shared her strategy of success: she lit a candle every time she sat down to write her PhD and it became a ritualistic source of strength and productivity.

As I begin 바카라사이트 third and (바카라사이트oretically) final year of my PhD, I realise that 바카라사이트 home stretch will likely teach me more about myself, achieving work-life balance and managing expectations.

I let go of excelling at a PhD long ago; I will complete a PhD that is not perfect but will be good enough.

I also have a lot to be incredibly thankful for. As a parent and senior female academic articulated: ¡°Children are a beautiful blessing, but you¡¯re clearly passionate about your research, too. There will be lots of days when you despair about stretching yourself too thin and are dissatisfied with results on all fronts. But try not to judge yourself too harshly. The girls won¡¯t be giving up anything if 바카라사이트y gain 바카라사이트 opportunity to see you working towards and accomplishing your professional goals.¡±

Annabelle Workman is in her final year of a PhD on climate change and health at 바카라사이트 University of Melbourne. She is married, has two young daughters and is based at 바카라사이트 university¡¯s . This post originally appear on , a blog run by 바카라사이트 University of Warwick about 바카라사이트 PhD student experience.