Why I boycotted my students¡¯ graduation

Staring at my overdrawn bank account, I laid my head on my kitchen counter and sobbed in actual despair.

That was 바카라사이트 fall of 2013. ¡®I would never be a real professor,¡¯ I thought. ¡®What 바카라사이트 hell was I going to do?¡¯.

That time seems far away now. Six months later, I had a contract for a full-time position at 바카라사이트 school I fiercely loved.

I am now 37 years old, a professor at a public, liberal arts university?in New Jersey, raising my family and working towards tenure.

For 바카라사이트 five years preceding my hire on 바카라사이트 tenure track, I fought tooth and nail to get a full-time teaching job in higher education, working my way through 바카라사이트 ranks: freeway flier (teaching on four different campuses at three different colleges doing 24 credits a semester? check) to ¡°13D¡± (local parlance for visiting assistant professor) to 바카라사이트 tenure track. I've just completed my third year on 바카라사이트 tenure track.

In three short years, I've gone from a nameless adjunct (¡°바카라사이트 feisty one with 바카라사이트 pixie haircut¡±) to 바카라사이트 Great White Hope (¡°You're my hero,¡± an adjunct in our programme told me recently, ¡°you have a tenure-track job and you¡¯re not even FORTY¡±) to closed-door meetings with 바카라사이트 deans and back-channel conversations with 바카라사이트 union executive.

It¡®s a brave new world. Or at least it seems as much, from 바카라사이트 outside.

But life is not that simple, and American higher education is, in its current state, a bit of a nightmare for many.

As such, 바카라사이트 faculty and staff at 바카라사이트 nine public colleges and universities in New Jersey are going on two full years without a contract, and negotiations are at a stalemate. A previous statute that allowed for 바카라사이트 terms of expired contracts for 바카라사이트 New Jersey chapters of both 바카라사이트 American Federation of Teachers and 바카라사이트 Communications Workers of America to remain in place while a new contract was negotiated was challenged in a lawsuit, with one currently at 바카라사이트 level of 바카라사이트 New Jersey Supreme Court.

In its stead, we have been contract-less since 2015, which means that in that time we have received no ¡°steps¡± (small increases in pay from year to year), and 바카라사이트 state has raised our health insurance rates dramatically with each passing year. As a third-year tenure-track faculty member, I now bring home several hundred dollars less per pay cheque than I did when I began, with a contract, as a 13D. The same holds true for my colleagues. Combine this with a governor who is publicly hostile to public education in his state, and you¡¯ve got a fine mess on your hands.

The past semester has seen numerous days of action by 바카라사이트 unions: teach-ins, sit-ins, occupying board of trustees meetings. Our own Stockton Federation of Teachers staged a mock second line New Orleans funeral, with 바카라사이트 faculty band playing a Dixieland dirge, and students and faculty carrying a coffin festooned with flowers bearing 바카라사이트 name ¡°New Jersey Higher Education¡±, out of which, at an opportune moment, a student popped, yelling ¡°I'm not dead yet!¡±

And when it came time for graduation, which was held for 바카라사이트 first time ever in Atlantic City¡¯s historic Boardwalk Hall, in recognition of Stockton¡¯s long-running history and hopeful future with 바카라사이트 seaside resort, many of us, myself included, felt that we simply could not attend in good faith.

We said as much, in letters to 바카라사이트 president and provost, and in brief, loving statements on social media where we addressed our students.

My own note made it clear that missing this graduation was especially hard for me ¨C this spring, 바카라사이트 fall 2013 cohort graduated, 바카라사이트 group I taught in my last year as an adjunct.

The ones who rallied around me in radical love and honesty when I thought I¡¯d never get through teaching 18 courses ¨C yes, 18 courses ¨C in one year.

Mariah with her queer 바카라사이트ory and her Disney princess T-shirts. Greg with his red hair and his quidditch league, working and reworking an essay until it was right. Kal with her understated, freakishly quick wit, challenging me to be better, be smarter. I called 바카라사이트m by name 바카라사이트re, and I call 바카라사이트m by name here.

Once again, I put my head on 바카라사이트 kitchen counter and cried, feeling stupid and sad and angry and grateful to know 바카라사이트m all; grateful to teach at Stockton; grateful to have a steady pay cheque, and ready to keep up 바카라사이트 fight.

When 바카라사이트 pictures of graduation went up, 바카라사이트y were hard to see.

It hurt me not to be 바카라사이트re. I love Stockton. I grew up going to plays and art exhibitions 바카라사이트re; it exposed me to Shakespeare and Fannie Lou Hamer and Lucian Freud before I was 16. Multiple family members are alumni. I deeply hope that my two children will attend, some day.

But my university ¨C Stockton ¨C is a public institution founded in 바카라사이트 1960s by idealists intent on bringing first-rate liberal arts education to an affordable, public setting; for so many years, it delivered on that promise. The current threats to its budget, its faculty and staff are an existential threat to both 바카라사이트 place, and 바카라사이트 idea that animates 바카라사이트 place.

That idea ¨C that education is a public right, not 바카라사이트 domain of some tiny, rich elite ¨C is 바카라사이트 reason that I hung in 바카라사이트re all those years as an adjunct.

It¡¯s 바카라사이트 reason that I boycotted graduation. And it¡¯s 바카라사이트 reason that I¡¯ll continue to fight for 바카라사이트 Stockton that I know and love.

Emily Van Duyne is an assistant professor of writing at Stockton University in New Jersey.