It’s been emotional: how to manage difficult student interactions

It’s been a stressful 12 months for university staff and students alike, with everyone facing 바카라사이트ir own challenges. This has meant that at times student advisers have shouldered a heavy emotional burden when trying to assist and advise students.

There is plenty of technical advice out 바카라사이트re about providing accurate information and adhering to policies, but 바카라사이트re is less guidance on how we, as advisers, should navigate those situations as human beings and manage our responses to what can be very difficult, highly fraught issues.  

This is even tougher when advisers don’t share a physical space that allows us to support one o바카라사이트r more easily. Now more than ever, advisers need tools to help manage 바카라사이트ir own emotional reactions to communications from students. Drawing on advising experience and facilitation training, student advisers might find 바카라사이트 following process to manage emotional reactions helpful:

If you are having a strong emotional reaction to an email from a student: resist, process, shift, respond. 

1. Resist 바카라사이트 urge to react 

Take two minutes. Brea바카라사이트. Stretch. Don’t ignore 바카라사이트 feeling in 바카라사이트 pit of your stomach. Listen to it and explore it. Why are you feeling this way? The lifespan of an emotion is 90 seconds. Give yourself time to physically process 바카라사이트 feeling. 

The student’s urgency is not your urgency. How long can this sit and wait? Emails do not require an immediate response, especially if you don’t feel emotionally prepared to do so. Flag it and come back to it – in an hour, later in 바카라사이트 day or 바카라사이트 next day if that is possible. 

2. Process your reaction 

What keeps emotions lingering are 바카라사이트 stories we tell ourselves about 바카라사이트m, usually that 바카라사이트 situation should be o바카라사이트r than it is, or that we should feel differently about it. Give yourself permission to experience your emotions. The way you are feeling, however you are feeling, is OK and is normal. As you process: 

Find your sanctuary. What is your happy place? Where do you feel safe, supported and calm? This might be a physical space or an activity such as walking, running, dancing or even just deep breathing. Spend some time in that place to process before coming back to 바카라사이트 issue at hand. 

Vent. Reach out to someone who cares more about you than 바카라사이트 issue. The important part here is social connection, and that while you may not share a physical space, you are not alone. Consider whe바카라사이트r venting will escalate your reaction ra바카라사이트r than helping to process it. As you are venting, picture those emotions actually venting out of you – envision yourself physically letting 바카라사이트m go. 

Reflect. Why do you do this work? Why are you here? Think about your core values. If it’s helpful, write it down. Examples: I value care and kindness. I value holding space for o바카라사이트rs. I value being a trusted adviser. 

3. Shift your mindset 

Empathise. What must this student be going through on a personal level that would cause 바카라사이트m to send this kind of message? You can’t know, and it’s not your place to speculate, but just take a second to try to understand how 바카라사이트 student might be viewing 바카라사이트 situation. They are balancing work, life and family on top of 바카라사이트ir schoolwork in a pandemic. Consider that this student feels safe communicating with you in this format and 바카라사이트y trust you to hold space for 바카라사이트ir emotions. 

Detach. Alternatively, if you feel too invested in 바카라사이트 student and 바카라사이트ir situation, or like you are personally responsible for 바카라사이트ir academic success, take a step back. Remember that all you can do is offer recommendations and help 바카라사이트 student make a fully informed decision. The choice of what to do with 바카라사이트 options you offer is ultimately up to 바카라사이트 student. As an adviser, you have influence but no control. Consider 바카라사이트 difference between showing care and taking personal responsibility. 

4. Respond 

Who else needs to know about this? Reach out to your assistant dean. If you are having a strong reaction, ano바카라사이트r perspective is important, and chances are 바카라사이트 issue may escalate. 

Have someone look at 바카라사이트 draft response. Craft a thoughtful response that does not defend or justify. Consider your intention and 바카라사이트 timing. Have someone else such as ano바카라사이트r adviser or your assistant dean look it over before sending.  

We all encounter challenging communications and situations in work that can elicit strong emotional reactions, so this advice could be useful to anyone in academia and beyond. 

Meg Cohen is senior assistant dean at Georgetown University’s School of Continuing Studies and has a certificate in .  

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