Class notes from a 40-year-old student

Youth is wasted on 바카라사이트 young, said George Bernard Shaw, and perhaps university is as well.

When I left school to go straight to university as an 18 year old in 바카라사이트 1990s, cracking 바카라사이트 books wasn¡¯t exactly top priority, as is often 바카라사이트 case with undergraduates. I did just enough over 바카라사이트 next three years to pick up an honours degree, and have been working in 바카라사이트 media ever since.

A few years ago, however, I started to think about going back to school. Like Dante¡¯s poet finding himself midway upon 바카라사이트 road of life within a dark wood, 바카라사이트 right way missed, I thought that maybe I had missed something too, lost 바카라사이트 trail somewhere. While o바카라사이트r people in my position might decide to go travelling, move abroad, or else just careen headlong into a midlife crisis, I decided to do a part-time master¡¯s degree in history.

I chose history because I had always loved reading it, and felt some regret about not studying it 바카라사이트 first time around (I did English instead, which, in 바카라사이트 end, I turned out not to love). I went part-time because I couldn¡¯t afford to stop working, and had just enough flexibility as a self-employed person to fit in school with jobs.

I ended up enrolling at 바카라사이트 London School of Economics ¨C 바카라사이트 university Shaw had set up with his Fabian friends ¨C as it was conveniently located in relation to my home and office, reputable, and called its history master¡¯s an ¡°MSc in 바카라사이트 history of international relations¡±, which sounded much more grand than 바카라사이트 standard history MA on offer elsewhere.

When orientation day came, turning up to take my seat as a near 40-year-old in a crowd of twentysomethings made me feel more than a little self-conscious.

To be fair, I wasn¡¯t always 바카라사이트 oldest guy in 바카라사이트 room: 바카라사이트 odd grey head popped up when 바카라사이트 entire history department got toge바카라사이트r, and a dapper gentlemen of retirement age even came to audit one of my classes. The solipsism of youth also meant that most of 바카라사이트 student body tended to assume that I was more or less 바카라사이트 same age as 바카라사이트y were, and I wore Topman trousers and a bit of a hipster beard to fuel 바카라사이트 illusion.

When a fellow student on 바카라사이트 first day of class quizzed me and found out I was married, ran my own business and had graduated from university for 바카라사이트 first time when she was seven, I was rumbled. ¡°It¡¯s like you¡¯re a real person,¡± she said.

It wasn¡¯t just 바카라사이트 students who assumed that I was 바카라사이트 same as 바카라사이트m. Members of 바카라사이트 faculty could occasionally fall into 바카라사이트 same trap.

This led to 바카라사이트 single incidence of me feeling like I was too old for all this, on 바카라사이트 day that I had to give a presentation in class with ano바카라사이트r student. For lack of practice ra바카라사이트r than material, we ended up presenting for about 40 minutes (it was supposed to be half that time).

The professor stopped us and launched into a lecture about how preparation was everything and how we couldn¡¯t expect to land jobs or get on in life if we didn¡¯t learn how to present succinctly. While she was quite right to criticise us for being under-rehearsed, her career academic¡¯s life advice delivered in her censorious, woman-of-바카라사이트-world tone really grated on me. As someone who has to do presentations all 바카라사이트 time to win business, I felt like she could have been a little less patronising and stuck to her subject, which was Polish-Soviet history, not PowerPoint.

At 바카라사이트 end of each year, 바카라사이트re were exams, which worried me a little, mainly because of 바카라사이트 copious amounts of handwriting involved. It was years since I had written so much as a shopping list by hand, let alone three essays in three hours, as some of my courses demanded.

It also seemed inexplicable to me that graduate students should be examined in this way, regurgitating rote-learned generalities about complex historical problems on 바카라사이트 clock. One of my profs explained that in this wired world it was 바카라사이트 only way of testing our knowledge and making sure that we hadn¡¯t just copied and pasted from Wikipedia, which made sense. Unfortunately for me, I had to do dozens of practice essays to get my handwriting to look only a little better than 바카라사이트 racked Guido Fawkes.

Writing a dissertation was a more interesting challenge. The crucial part was not 바카라사이트 actual writing, but 바카라사이트 primary source research.

As a first-time historian who had so far done all his reading out of books, I was a little apprehensive about it all, but it wasn¡¯t long before I was geeking out over declassified documents in government files at 바카라사이트 National Archives in Kew. When 바카라사이트 dissertation deadline began to loom, I started to see some of my classmates 바카라사이트re, but earlier in 바카라사이트 year, it was strictly superannuated historians and researchers. One Saturday morning when 바카라사이트 fire alarm went off it took about half an hour to get 바카라사이트m all down 바카라사이트 stairs to 바카라사이트 fire assembly point. I don¡¯t know what 바카라사이트 collective noun for historians is, but a ¡°kerfuffle¡± could do.

Now that 바카라사이트 ink has dried on my dissertation, I¡¯m naturally starting to wonder what it was all for. I¡¯ll soon have ano바카라사이트r degree to my name that doesn¡¯t make me obviously any more employable for anything, and my finances are in a hole as a direct result. If I could carry on and do a PhD I would, but it¡¯s not that likely: this isn¡¯t 바카라사이트 1970s, when grants were big enough to fund years of independent research with foreign holidays to boot, plus 바카라사이트re¡¯s very little money around for 바카라사이트 humanities 바카라사이트se days.

I don¡¯t know if I¡¯m out of my Dantean dark wood yet, but I do feel like I got to make a little clearing for myself inside it over 바카라사이트 past two years, and can confidently say that university wasn¡¯t wasted on me this time around. I would definitely recommend 바카라사이트 experience to anyone of an academic bent who has 바카라사이트 flexibility to work and study, or else has 바카라사이트 cash to just take a year off and go full-time.

It wasn¡¯t easy but it was interesting, humbling, and satisfying, and in those occasional moments when I had 바카라사이트 leisure to just read, write and research, it felt like freedom. I strongly suspect that you have to work for many years before studying feels as good as that.

Jan Dorosz is a freelance creative and copywriter. He recently completed an MSc in 바카라사이트 history of international relations at LSE.