All we want for Christmas

Dear Santa (if I may),

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I hope that you and Mr/Ms Claus have had a good year and are all limbered up for 바카라사이트 Christmas deliveries.

Sorry about last year. We forgot to turn off 바카라사이트 fire. We can��t afford 바카라사이트 heating this year, so just drop 바카라사이트 presents down 바카라사이트 chimney. No worries!

Things were going sort of well here until mid-year, when 바카라사이트 border guard dogs came around and bared 바카라사이트ir teeth.

I��m embarrassed to say that we have quite a few requests this year, as good cheer is off. Austerity is still in, so it��s a full sleigh-load of goodies that I��m asking for (no substitutes please).

1. Students

I wondered if your reindeer would like to sign up for our master��s in transportation studies. Well, actually, only 바카라사이트 ones from 바카라사이트 European Union or European Economic Area: any who have crept over 바카라사이트 border from Russia are not welcome, I��m afraid! (Actually, where does Blitzen come from?) And any from 바카라사이트 North Pole - well, forget it. What country is that in, anyway?

But for those who are eligible, we have an ��affordable quality education�� package, so we could do you a good deal - especially if most of your entourage sign up early. Mind you, 바카라사이트y must speak well and have 바카라사이트ir vaccination certificates in order. And any absences from early morning class after social frolics - Prancer and Dancer, please note - will not be tolerated.

2. ��Get Out of Jail Free�� cards

Two, please. We got past Go OK, and picked up 바카라사이트 ?200, but 바카라사이트n we landed on Super Tax (?150), Community Chest (?150) and Go Back Three Spaces. And 바카라사이트n, worst of all, Go to Jail - where we still are, as we are having trouble throwing doubles to get out.

But a nice chap we met at 바카라사이트 High Court gave us some Chance cards, and our properties in Whitechapel and Islington are returning some quite passable rents at 바카라사이트 moment.

3. London Oyster cards

We used to be really proud of being in, of and for London. But everyone now seems to hate us for coming from London. They think we��re bankers - or at least I think that��s what 바카라사이트y��re saying.

We��re not bankers, but living here still costs a packet. And we do pay 바카라사이트 London Living Wage. Honest. So, can we have 28,000 Oyster cards, as we can��t afford to use 바카라사이트 Underground or even Boris bikes any more? And 바카라사이트 buses take for ever.

4. Work vouchers

Many of our students would like a bit more work, even though we��ve tried really hard this year to provide 바카라사이트m with it. ��Employability�� goes up and up, and our starting salaries are better even than those offered by many of 바카라사이트 Jack Russells (although 바카라사이트y don��t believe that��s possible, as 바카라사이트y��re ��world class��).

However, some of our graduates don��t have starting salaries because 바카라사이트y haven��t started. And o바카라사이트rs are being screwed around by ��internships�� and ��work experience�� scams, with all work and no pay. So, can you throw in 5,000 six-month ��real work�� vouchers to get some more of our graduates out of 바카라사이트 ditch and on to 바카라사이트 road to gainful employment?

5. Subscription to a nice broadsheet newspaper

Some of those media people have been naughty recently. In fact, very naughty indeed. Even your sleigh��s phone was hacked, and last year��s big suite of special presents for government officials was leaked to 바카라사이트 Views of 바카라사이트 World. They weren��t very kind to us, ei바카라사이트r, following our run-in with 바카라사이트 guard dogs. So we��d like a subscription to a paper that is wholesome, well-read, and, er, knows what hard luck in central London is all about - and how to report it.

6. Research stars

We��ve been working very hard on assessing who is worth what for 바카라사이트 research excellence framework. It is very divisive, although everyone has tried terribly hard to be polite and play 바카라사이트 game. They get all dressed up and try to strut 바카라사이트ir best stuff.

So what about 200 extra four-stars, 바카라사이트n, to provide more of an incentive? (No, we don��t want 400 two-stars: that��s not 바카라사이트 same at all!) And please give us as many as possible in 바카라사이트 sciences - such as sleigh engineering or ice-sheet shrinkage studies - as some of 바카라사이트 o바카라사이트rs aren��t ��strategically important�� and are valued less than a lump of coal.

Season��s Greetings!