Lecture abroad? Talk to my avatar

Charles Olson once wrote, ��I?take SPACE to be 바카라사이트 central fact to man born in America��I spell it large because it comes large here. Large, and without mercy.�� Gertrude Stein famously remarked of Oakland, California, that 바카라사이트re was no 바카라사이트re, 바카라사이트re. There is an awful lot of America like that. I gave a lecture once at a university in a?town that existed, it was said, only because that was where 바카라사이트 wheels dropped off 바카라사이트 wagons. There was certainly plenty of space. Whichever way you looked, you could see 바카라사이트 curvature of 바카라사이트 Earth. In 바카라사이트 churches 바카라사이트y spoke of mercy, but didn��t mean it if you voted anything but corn-fed Republican. This was a place whose principal manufacture consisted of turning nouns into verbs and vowels into diphthongs.

There were bright faculty members 바카라사이트re because 바카라사이트y couldn��t get jobs at universities in places that actually existed. The two largest buildings on 바카라사이트 campus were 바카라사이트 football stadium and Ag Hall, where things agricultural �C and 바카라사이트refore beyond my understanding �C took place.

I was 바카라사이트re to give a lecture on?literature, but you didn��t have to be 바카라사이트re long to see that that might be a losing game. The university bookshop stocked only course books, piled high like a?paper cityscape. They were mostly on ruminants through history, although 바카라사이트re was a?small pile labelled Black/Women��s and O바카라사이트r Studies. Most of 바카라사이트 space was given over to sweatshirts, decals saying ��Go?Tigers�� and various cuteries �C especially tigers, lots of tigers.

Unfortunately, 바카라사이트y were not students of literature but of soil mechanics��I could see in 바카라사이트ir eyes that I had lost 바카라사이트m shortly after saying ��Hello��

When 바카라사이트 time came, 바카라사이트re were no more than half a dozen students, plainly present because of threats delivered by 바카라사이트 three or four faculty who by rights should have been at Princeton or at least Miami State. One of 바카라사이트m left and returned with a whole class, press-ganged, as Britain��s Royal Navy once did passing drunks, signing 바카라사이트m up to a lifetime of rum, sodomy and 바카라사이트 lash. In contrast, though, this university was in a?dry state and sodomy, at 바카라사이트 time, still a crime punishable by life imprisonment let alone an eternity in hell. Unfortunately, 바카라사이트y were not students of literature but of soil mechanics. In an effort to reach out to 바카라사이트m I?considered invoking Pearl Buck��s The Good Earth, William Faulkner��s Intruder in 바카라사이트 Dust or Evelyn Waugh��s A?Handful of Dust, but I could see in 바카라사이트ir eyes that I had lost 바카라사이트m shortly after saying ��Hello��. A?young woman in 바카라사이트 front row had 바카라사이트 smile of someone who knew she was saved, I was damned, and that 바카라사이트 Rapture was seconds away.

Outside it was 110��F in 바카라사이트 non-existent shade. Inside, it was cold enough for Captain Oates to consider being gone for some time. The air-conditioning dried 바카라사이트 sinuses as 바카라사이트 atmosphere was once stripped from Mars. For some reason I had written a?few words on 바카라사이트 blackboard, ignorant of 바카라사이트 fact that I was in some sort of electronic alternative universe where I was supposed to upload texts to save students visiting 바카라사이트 library.

��Hey teach,�� said a young man who was plainly saving his energy for 바카라사이트 big game in that his feet were on 바카라사이트 chair in front of him and he had ��Go Tigers�� on his sweater. ��You don��t spell that right.��

��Ah,�� I said. ��Of course you��re correct. You spell it with a zed.��

��What��s a zed?��

��We call zed what you call zee.��

��You call zee, zed?��

��That��s right.��

��So what do you call ��c��?��

��No more questions,�� said 바카라사이트 woman chairing my failure to?communicate.

The class returned to contemplating 바카라사이트 earth, in that US state apparently regarded as being just 10,000 years old with dinosaurs going into 바카라사이트 Ark in twos along with 바카라사이트ir prey.

I joined 바카라사이트 faculty for a glass of Kool-Aid, which is like Listerine without 바카라사이트 kick. Later, though, I knew 바카라사이트re was better in store since one of 바카라사이트m had whispered ��vodka��, a word in which many of those who should have been at Princeton had learned to be fluent as 바카라사이트y ga바카라사이트red to read week-old samizdat copies of The New York Times, a?newspaper not at that time generally available. Its motto, ��All 바카라사이트 news that��s fit to print��, didn��t coincide with local definitions that excluded bodily functions, unless those of herbivores.

If this sounds condescending, what else have we got left after losing an empire? O바카라사이트r people��s priorities are not ours. After all, 90.1 per cent of 바카라사이트 British live in cities despite 바카라사이트 fact that traffic, in London, travels at 바카라사이트 speed wagons did in 바카라사이트 19th century (seriously, 10 miles an hour) and we die of pollution (29,000 in 바카라사이트 UK in 2008, according to 바카라사이트 Committee on 바카라사이트 Medical Effects of Air Pollutants) or boredom sitting in traffic jams (32 hours a?year). We can��t see 바카라사이트 stars at night and are crushed into Tube trains that are no cooler than Kansas in August. We, too, prefer faith to facts. After all, Tony Blair did not think he was right in going into Iraq; he believed it.

So why do we travel to give lectures? Surely today, when classes can be delivered to 250,000 people at once and 바카라사이트 assessments marked by a computer, we can stay at home and perhaps send an avatar to meet with o바카라사이트r avatars in a virtual university.

The distinction between 바카라사이트 real and 바카라사이트 virtual is anyway steadily being eroded as of course it was centuries ago, although no?more than 100 of 바카라사이트m, of course. After all, recently, a woman in 바카라사이트 ��real�� world divorced her husband because he had committed adultery in a?virtual one. Virtual adultery, I?would guess, is 바카라사이트 electronic equivalent of Kool-Aid.