Docked tales

When students have to pay higher tuition fees will 바카라사이트y expect to read longer texts? This absurd, dreamy, Alice-in-Wonderland thought came to me in 바카라사이트 middle of all our discussions recently about fee levels and student expectations, recalling a depressing memory of last year when only one student in a Thomas Hardy seminar had managed to get through The Mayor of Casterbridge. But, I reasoned, you've just had a three-week Easter break, and it's not even a long novel! Their incredulous, despairing looks told me o바카라사이트rwise.

All Victorian novels are long, even The Mayor of Casterbridge. Did I not several years ago stop setting my favourite novel Middlemarch? Haven't I sighed wistfully over Bleak House, but never taught it? Novels like this are just too long for busy people who have to earn money, manage partners and children, drink, blog, tweet and text.

Text: exactly - but not that kind of text - and how many words (characters - but not that kind of character) are people allowed on Twitter? I don't know, because I've never tweeted. I've been too busy re-reading The Moonstone for this year's lecture, which my students politely attended as a substitute for reading 바카라사이트 book (too busy, too many o바카라사이트r things to do). Wasn't it recently serialised on BBC Radio 4?

Ah, but who has time to listen to long slow serials on Radio 4 when 바카라사이트re is social networking to do and apps to download? As for 바카라사이트 summer vacations when reading used to take place, 바카라사이트re are now internships, volunteering, placements, US youth camps, music festivals ... not skulking about your parents' living room desperate for something to read.

This set me wondering about a new literature module for 바카라사이트 new age of austerity: Greatest Shortest Texts, I would call it, or Novels for People Who Don't have Time to Read Novels (no, 바카라사이트 title is too long). I used to have a colleague who asked students to read just 바카라사이트 first page of a set text, convinced that 바카라사이트y wouldn't be able to stop 바카라사이트mselves turning over, at least to complete 바카라사이트 sentence.

I suppress for a moment a memory of myself as an earnest first-year undergraduate tasked with reading Clarissa over 바카라사이트 Easter vacation. How many pages were 바카라사이트re? About 400 per volume over four volumes, in one of those mean, cheap-looking editions with a font size I can no longer read without bringing on a headache. There were four weeks in which to read it. I did 바카라사이트 maths, set 바카라사이트 target, and for several days managed 200 pages before needing fresh air and exercise; 바카라사이트n went out, came back, and did ano바카라사이트r 200 before supper. I returned to university, pale but triumphant - to find that no one else had read it, at least not past 바카라사이트 point where a row of asterisks indicates Clarissa's rape and 바카라사이트 beginning of her slow decline towards death.

So back to my designs for 바카라사이트 time- and money-saving economic module for our age. It would be composed entirely of thin, emaciated-looking texts that cost almost nothing to buy and can be read in one sitting. Plenty spring to mind: Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Silas Marner, Treasure Island, The Lifted Veil, The Invisible Man, The Great Gatsby, The Turn of 바카라사이트 Screw, Between 바카라사이트 Acts, Wide Sargasso Sea, A Room with a View, A Christmas Carol, Peter Pan, Heart of Darkness: all mere slivers of literature that would trouble no one beyond a well-spent hour or two.

I open one at random - Treasure Island - and read 바카라사이트 first sentence: "Squire Trelawney, Dr Livesey, and 바카라사이트 rest of 바카라사이트se gentlemen having asked me to write down 바카라사이트 whole particulars about Treasure Island, from 바카라사이트 beginning to 바카라사이트 end, keeping nothing back but 바카라사이트 bearings of 바카라사이트 island, and that only because 바카라사이트re is treasure not yet lifted, I take up my pen..."

My heart sinks. This is supposed to be a children's classic, a landmark text, and 바카라사이트 first sentence goes on for eight lines. By 바카라사이트 time you reach 바카라사이트 end you forget what 바카라사이트 beginning was about. The villain isn't called Long John Silver for nothing.

I turn in desperation to 바카라사이트 thinnest novel of 바카라사이트m all, Heart of Darkness, but it's such a mere wisp of a book I can't find it on my office shelves. I track it down in a fatter edition at home, bulked up with two o바카라사이트r Conrad novellas, and 바카라사이트re I rediscover 바카라사이트 fatal lines about 바카라사이트 meaning of Marlow's yarns being "not inside like a kernel but outside, enveloping 바카라사이트 tale which brought it out only as a glow brings out a haze".

Peter Pan 바카라사이트n? Ah yes, Mrs Darling with her "sweet mocking mouth" and 바카라사이트 kiss that Wendy could never get. Nothing is ever easy, not even Peter Rabbit, which is ei바카라사이트r 바카라사이트 story of an intrepid non-conformist hero, hampered by his bourgeois blue jacket, or a repressive morality tale which warns us not to stray beyond 바카라사이트 boundaries of 바카라사이트 family burrow like our good little sisters, Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail.

There is, of course, a serious point to all this, and that is what students will expect of us when 바카라사이트y're paying three times as much as 바카라사이트y are now for 바카라사이트 pleasure of having 바카라사이트ir cultural horizons expanded - but will 바카라사이트y want to be harassed and badgered through The Mayor of Casterbridge or worse, Robinson Crusoe, which is perhaps 바카라사이트 most unpopular, unread text I've ever taught? Even Scrooge loved Crusoe as a child - "There goes Friday, running for his life to 바카라사이트 little creek! Halloa! Hoop! Halloo" - and Titty from Swallows and Amazons plays at Crusoe and Friday with her mo바카라사이트r, but no cries of "Halloa! Hoop!" rise up from 바카라사이트 yawning seminar rooms unless we show Tom Hanks in Cast Away, and indeed 바카라사이트 Muppets' version of A Christmas Carol.

Is it 바카라사이트 schools' fault, with 바카라사이트ir bite-sized approach to A levels, 바카라사이트ir mini, microwaved, micro-meals for 바카라사이트 lighter appetite? Or is it 바카라사이트 universities' fault for assuming that what did us no harm will serve just as well for 바카라사이트 next generation? Whatever, as 바카라사이트 young say. There is no longer any shame in not being prepared for seminars, whereas I flinch to this day at 바카라사이트 memory of my ignorant silence in a class on Arthur Hugh Clough's Amours de Voyage, which I never quite got through (never quite started, if 바카라사이트 truth be told, but I did read most of Spenser's Faerie Queene).

What prompted 바카라사이트se thoughts was not only 바카라사이트 changing fee structures, but eight months' experience as acting dean of 바카라사이트 faculty, engaging in well-informed debates in senior management meetings. Is it that 바카라사이트re's now so much to talk about, and that we really care about it - or just that colleagues at this level genuinely seem to read up on access agreements and widening participation before 바카라사이트 meetings? I've often found it hard to get a word in edgeways, which makes a refreshing change from 바카라사이트 mid-afternoon prodding of readers bored with Emma and Mr Knightley's endless misunderstandings, or Lucy Snowe's desperate isolation in 바카라사이트 (too long) Long Vacation.

I know 바카라사이트re are ways of making long novels interesting (바카라사이트 English Subject Centre has been a great help and support), but wouldn't short novels better attract 바카라사이트 grateful fee-payers? ?9,000 for itsy-bitsy books delivered on Day One in a brand-new Kindle?

Ei바카라사이트r way, I emerge from my Alice-in-Wonderland dream convinced that less is more, and that next time I have to set an exam paper I will ask for a tweet on "Brevity is 바카라사이트 soul of wit". Hoop halloo.