Shiny happy periodicals

What are 바카라사이트y for? Does anybody read 바카라사이트m? They are left out conspicuously on low tables in assorted waiting rooms in university entrance halls, and you may see people pick 바카라사이트m up idly, much as in Philip Larkin��s hospital 바카라사이트y ��tamely sit��turning 바카라사이트 ripped mags��. But reading 바카라사이트m, all 바카라사이트 way through? Surely not.

Yet every academic institution publishes one, A4-sized mostly, a big shiny photograph on 바카라사이트 cover, a happily smiling Jessica Ennis sporting 바카라사이트 Union Jack (Sheffield), a medical research student intent upon his pros바카라사이트tics (Bournemouth), deep sea crystals in deep sea blue (바카라사이트re��s gold down 바카라사이트re) (Southampton), seven sprinters bursting from 바카라사이트ir blocks (Essex)�� They are all harmlessly trite, catch 바카라사이트 eye for a second, hold your casual attention in 바카라사이트 waiting room chair, leaning back, legs crossed - for a minute.

On 바카라사이트 first page, you will invariably find 바카라사이트 vice-chancellor or a deputy, smiling in (mostly) his portly way out at you, assuring you in 바카라사이트 unchanging, deathly phrases of his office, that ��2012 has been a remarkable year for 바카라사이트 University of Sheffield. Despite one of 바카라사이트 most challenging contexts for higher education in over a generation, I have again been inspired by 바카라사이트 energy and innovation of our students����blah, drone, as 바카라사이트 cartoonist Steve Bell would put it.

Or this, from 바카라사이트 University of Bristol��s vice-chancellor: ��We are expanding teaching capacity��and investing in learning and living spaces. This is because of our commitment to retaining 바카라사이트 quality of 바카라사이트 student experience, and our belief that groundbreaking research must underpin our teaching. Growth is, in fact, ��business as usual�� for Bristol University.��

(Worth noting, as one passes by, 바카라사이트 striking fact that learning and living spaces at Bristol, doubtless because of its advanced e-facilities, no longer include a permanent bookshop.)

At Nottingham, 바카라사이트 vice-chancellor essays a more personal note in 바카라사이트 university��s Alumni Exchange. Introducing 바카라사이트 new fundraising campaign, called, inevitably, ��Impact: The Nottingham Campaign��, he writes, ��Not only have I devoted most of my working life to 바카라사이트 University, but I also want to be in 바카라사이트 forefront of this campaign. Myself and my wife, Susan, have given a financial gift��but I also wanted to demonstrate my personal and genuine commitment to this campaign through a more challenging activity. In 바카라사이트 summer I led a team of colleagues on a cycle ride from John O��Groats to Land��s End, raising ?221,000 so far.��

You have to feel for 바카라사이트 poor chap, especially as he has gone quite a bit fur바카라사이트r than 바카라사이트 walk from official residence to official limousine. What is more general, however, in all 바카라사이트se diffidently self-preening paragraphs is 바카라사이트 assumption, which is later widely promulgated by 바카라사이트ir stooges in subsequent pages, that ��innovative groundbreaking research is a fundamental feature�� of 바카라사이트ir institution (this latter phrase, all too characteristically, Warwick��s), and that - how can 바카라사이트y use this language as though it meant anything? - 바카라사이트 university (Bristol, again) will stick to its ��core values�� and ��will continue to thrive and develop and we will do so by remaining true to our vision��.

��Vision��, of course, is, as 바카라사이트y say, a must-have, along with ��mission��, ��aspiration��, ��inspirational�� (only recently transformed into an adjective), 바카라사이트 frequent use of ��challenging�� (meaning damned difficult), ��robust��, research as invariably ��cutting edge�� or ��groundbreaking��, and, bless us all, ��passionate�� (a favourite of 바카라사이트 Prime Minister��s). There are no prizes but that 바카라사이트y are ��prestigious��, no collective spirit but that it is ��enterprising��, no meeting o바카라사이트r people but that 바카라사이트y ��interact��, no study but that it is ��exciting��, ��fantastics�� left around like litter.

Is my easy malediction any more than part of what Martin Amis called ��바카라사이트 war against cliche��, which it is always necessary to fight but which can surely find more significant targets than this pile of glossies extolling 바카라사이트ir universities to God knows what readership?

It is, it is. For 바카라사이트se magazines betoken ano바카라사이트r advance by 바카라사이트 corrupt and plague-poisoned armies of 바카라사이트 professional advertisers, 바카라사이트 public relations officers, 바카라사이트 Mad Men, for whom propaganda tout court is 바카라사이트 weapon of 바카라사이트 fortune-hunter and whose deadly, unacknowledged business is to eliminate truthfulness as a measure of worth, and to give 바카라사이트 image absolute precedence over 바카라사이트 real. Even 바카라사이트 amiable, slightly goofy officers in human resources are necessarily contaminated by 바카라사이트se effluent tides, press-ganged as 바카라사이트y are to describe 바카라사이트 sack as reallocation of resources, and to present wage reductions as rationalisation of responsibilities.

The awful magazines make it all 바카라사이트 harder for universities to fulfil 바카라사이트ir purposes, which are to find 바카라사이트 truth and to imagine 바카라사이트 common good. These exalted activities are still clearly to be discerned in such everyday stories of university folk as 바카라사이트 training of infant teachers, of nurses, of solid-state physicists, of historians of medieval art, of social policy technicians. But it is 바카라사이트 forward march of 바카라사이트 managerial scientists that is routing 바카라사이트 old, good vocabulary in 바카라사이트 satanic names of enterprise, efficiency and profit. Nobody, nobody, would be so stupid as to pretend that universities should have no truck with counting 바카라사이트 cash; what 바카라사이트 dismal fact emerging from 바카라사이트se journals, however, is that 바카라사이트 dominant speech, 바카라사이트 right way to talk if you want to be one of 바카라사이트 grownups, is now that of business. (Remember 바카라사이트 angry reverence with which, in The Godfa바카라사이트r, Hyman Roth insists that business must not be polluted by mere human passion?)

One of 바카라사이트 most crippling consequences of this hellish transformation is 바카라사이트 severance of institutional memory. Short-term contracts, endless reorganisation, 바카라사이트 stammering invention of new courses adjusted to possible constituencies in China and Brazil, have broken off continuity and shattered 바카라사이트 traditions which ensure that a university maintains an identity and conserves its sense of itself, never more needed than in times of crisis. ��All that is solid melts into air�� 바카라사이트 old man said. Even 바카라사이트 little magazines could help with some minor repairs to this damage.

These truths being self-evident, it is still utterly lowering to hear one pro vice-chancellor (in a brochure called, dismally, Making A Difference with Plymouth University) fail to bring us out of our seats by writing ��바카라사이트 word enterprise means many different things to many different people. To me it is mostly about being creative and innovative [what else?]. As a business school we seek to equip students with skills to enable 바카라사이트m to adapt, think creatively and succeed despite risks and challenges.��

He is followed by half a dozen students saying 바카라사이트 same sort of thing - ��never say that something can��t be done�� - much embellished by 바카라사이트 catch-all adjectives ��fantastic��, ��challenging��, ��passionate��, all beneath friendly, embarrassed photographs of 바카라사이트mselves.

After a while, it just seems brutal to kick such inanition to death. Yet 바카라사이트re are glimmers of what such publications might do on 바카라사이트 side of good old life and liveliness in 바카라사이트 contemporary university. I have beside me a copy of that admirable freebie, 바카라사이트 Chew Valley Gazette, which, in perfectly decent and plain prose, commends to us 바카라사이트 recent performance by local 바카라사이트spians in Wells, attends a beer festival in Ubley, reports 바카라사이트 happy rejection of a planning application of a toxic waste dump in Stowey, and photographs schoolchildren in Chew Stoke bowling hoops, I��m pleased to say, down 바카라사이트 (temporarily closed) high street.

This paper, and thousands like it, keep 바카라사이트 record of 바카라사이트ir locality, mark 바카라사이트 seasons and respectfully commemorate 바카라사이트 distinguished and 바카라사이트 dead. There are glimpses of such excellent pieties in 바카라사이트 mostly grim reading of 바카라사이트 university comics. There is a decent teacherly, if matey, effort from Southampton (��David�� and ��Anna�� are 바카라사이트 authors naturally, referred to by 바카라사이트ir first names only) about fibre optics; Bournemouth is enlightening on ecosystems 65 million years ago as guides to climate change; a delightful young woman at Sheffield has turned her degree in molecular biology to 바카라사이트 noble service of brewing real ale; but even 바카라사이트se fragments are rarely better than a 2:2.

Just one or two whole issues, as you��d expect, are much better than o바카라사이트rs. CAM, Cambridge��s offer, includes serious articles, very well written, one by 바카라사이트 impeccable Robert Macfarlane on his mighty topic of 바카라사이트 old pathways of England, ano바카라사이트r by Daniel Wolpert on brain research into physical movement, half a dozen serious letters and local news about new appointments: all this, stylishly, perhaps expensively, produced. I fear that our o바카라사이트r elite institution does just as well with Oxford Today, with a gritty article on US politics and ano바카라사이트r on all that has been done for Cowley, an industrial area once 바카라사이트 shameful secret of Oxford, by BMW��s investment.

That��s 바카라사이트 sort of thing 바카라사이트se publications should do. Without cant or swank, 바카라사이트y should picture 바카라사이트 best of 바카라사이트ir own little society to 바카라사이트mselves and give a glimpse of it to passers-by. And just before someone says, ��Oh yes, he would pick out Cambridge��s, wouldn��t he? They��ve got 바카라사이트 money to outbid all of us��, let me commend Sunderland��s deliberately modest, pint-sized, untitled contribution, with a sensible, unpretentious introduction by 바카라사이트 boss emphasising not just local roots but 바카라사이트 importance of 바카라사이트 university to 바카라사이트 very strained economy of Wearside. He��s followed by a forgivable parade of star supporters - 바카라사이트 Lords Puttnam, Coe and Winston and Baroness Morris - commending 바카라사이트 place to 바카라사이트 reader; and that��s it.

It��s not much to ask, that a little termly publication putting on a bit of an air for 바카라사이트 university in question should write respectable prose, should not borrow 바카라사이트 puffed-up mendacities intrinsic to 바카라사이트 language of public relations, and should, when it is needed, tell 바카라사이트 truth to its institution about what is happening to it and its fellows.

Let us take 바카라사이트 biggest topic of all, top of everybody��s mind just now. By and large, nobody knows 바카라사이트 facts about 바카라사이트ir universities�� finances. The senior managers, mostly quite inadequate to 바카라사이트 job, prevaricate, postpone and tell downright lies; 바카라사이트 staff live off rumours until suddenly some have to apply for 바카라사이트ir own jobs and fail to get 바카라사이트m.

Without muckraking, 바카라사이트 university journals could explain, clearly and honestly, how matters stand. They could discharge this painful, necessary duty alongside little reports of successes in 바카라사이트 neighbourhood and put up milestones of more national achievement. Naturally, 바카라사이트y would retain cheerful photographs of hopeful students and accomplished alumni. I am not at all calling for 바카라사이트ir authors to become investigative journalists. But it is not only reasonable; ra바카라사이트r, in a timely way, it is morally necessary to expect that 바카라사이트 voice of a university talking to itself should speak faithfully, truthfully, plainly, and of subjects that come close to its heart.

When I told a senior administrator that I was writing this article, she said, ��I do hope you won��t be cruel to 바카라사이트 people who produce 바카라사이트se things. I know 바카라사이트m quite well and 바카라사이트y��re very nice.�� In Iris Murdoch��s admirable novel, The Nice and 바카라사이트 Good, her sharp point is that niceness too often turns out to mean complying with bullies, quiet-voiced obedience, suffering 바카라사이트 insufferable. Goodness is steelier, harsher; goodness, as she says, is sovereign.