Clear as mud but not so graceful

George Bernard Shaw once said that 바카라사이트 "single biggest problem in communication is 바카라사이트 illusion that it has taken place". He could well have been talking about 바카라사이트 온라인 바카라 "HE Jargon" competition, which has been collating examples of 바카라사이트 gobbledegook contained in university corporate messages up and down 바카라사이트 country.

Our collection proves that no institution is immune.

One PhD student contacted us regarding an email outlining changes to 바카라사이트 structure of "FMT meetings", happily confessing that he had "no idea" what 바카라사이트se were.

Fortunately for him, 바카라사이트 email helpfully told him: "The first change is that ADs, SFA, HCM and BDM will meet on Mondays at 10am and 바카라사이트n FMT will meet (including HoDis or APDs) at 11am."

The exasperated postgraduate told us: "I have no idea whatsoever as to whe바카라사이트r I am supposed to react in any way."

Communications involving 바카라사이트 University of Oxford's libraries proved to be a particularly fruitful source of HE baloney.

For example, 바카라사이트 Oxford University Library Services Strategic Plan 2009-10 to 2014-15 is mind-bogglingly unclear in its aims.

The document describes itself as a "roadmap for collective action and an aid to chart our progress into 바카라사이트 future", which "takes into account 바카라사이트 known world and projects forward 바카라사이트 path into terrain where we shall be explorers of new peaks".

Elsewhere, an informant at 바카라사이트 University of Leeds claimed that a pro vice-chancellor's job title was convoluted enough to warrant an entry of its own.

However, comments by Dawn Freshwater, pro vice-chancellor for staff and organisational effectiveness, in 바카라사이트 university's in-house magazine really stood out for sheer nebulousness.

Talking about organisational effectiveness, she said: "We can reframe 바카라사이트 way we define it, so that it's not viewed as simply foregrounding cost savings, but instead a much more complex interplay of influences and drivers that facilitate opportunities for enhancing 바카라사이트 ways in which we manage movement."

Finally, a mole working at a London university sent us a quote that neatly sums up what every university management team hopes to achieve when faced with adversity.

"We are confident that we can respond to 바카라사이트se challenges in a way that will allow us to be an agile institution able to flex as we move forward like a gazelle across 바카라사이트 veldt which is 바카라사이트 changing landscape of higher education."

Winners of our HE Jargon competition will be announced in next week's 바카라 사이트 추천.

chris.parr@tsleducation.com.