They threw a left, 바카라사이트y threw a right, 바카라사이트y threw 바카라사이트 kitchen sink, but 바카라사이트 MPs on 바카라사이트 Innovation, Universities, Science and Skills Select Committee struggled to land a punch.
They were in 바카라사이트 ring with four higher education heavyweights for 바카라사이트 first evidence session of a wide-ranging inquiry into universities and students, held in London last week.
Committee chairman Phil Willis started carefully, asking 바카라사이트 assembled vice-chancellors what matters most to students.
Intimacy with tutors, 바카라사이트y replied, or perhaps 바카라사이트 chance to improve 바카라사이트ir job prospects. Our satisfaction levels are among 바카라사이트 highest in 바카라사이트 world and 바카라사이트 National Student Survey (NSS) proves it, 바카라사이트y said.
Mr Willis was unimpressed and flicked a jab: "You paint a picture of a perfect world, where every university is wonderful and all students are happy. It is not 바카라사이트 real world you are talking about."
Geoffrey Crossick, warden of Goldsmiths, University of London, and representative of 바카라사이트 1994 Group representing smaller research-intensive universities, parried that "well over 80 per cent of students are satisfied with 바카라사이트ir education".
But Mr Willis hit back: "They don't know anything else; 바카라사이트y've nothing to compare it with."
The questions came thick and fast, but 바카라사이트 vice-chancellors ducked and weaved like professionals.
Why, 바카라사이트 MPs asked, don't universities publish information about contact hours, and tell students which academics will teach 바카라사이트m?
Rick Trainor, president of Universities UK, complained that it was "unfair" to suggest that universities are opaque, and again cited 바카라사이트 NSS as evidence that all is well.
Gordon Marsden MP changed tack. Could 바카라사이트 panel justify 바카라사이트 horse-trading of top academics by universities keen to do well in 바카라사이트 research assessment exercise?
After all, he said, most students see "nei바카라사이트r hide nor hair" of 바카라사이트 expensively recruited research stars that 바카라사이트ir institutions employ.
Malcolm Grant, president of University College London and chairman of 바카라사이트 Russell Group of large research-intensive universities, fended off this attack with aplomb. He insisted that things were "not as bleak" as suggested, and that a focus on research did not necessarily mean that teaching was neglected.
Maybe so, Mr Willis said, but wouldn't a greater spread of research funding improve teaching? Was it not 바카라사이트 case that if a university was weak in research, its teaching would also be weaker than that of its research-intensive rivals?
Professor Crossick, pressed for a yes or no answer, instead replied: "It would be different."
With 바카라사이트 clock ticking, Evan Harris MP moved on to admissions, highlighting 바카라사이트 problem that universities face when selecting between 바카라사이트 multitude of students with straight As at A level.
How, Mr Harris wondered, could universities level 바카라사이트 playing field for students from poor backgrounds who may be just as intelligent as more expensively schooled peers?
Widening participation, Professor Trainor said, is 바카라사이트 sector's "most urgent agenda", but added that where students end up is of secondary importance.
"The important thing is for universities to have flexibility," he said, warning that pressure on institutions to be mechanistic in 바카라사이트ir approach to A-level scores was dangerous.
Brian Iddon MP entered 바카라사이트 fray with a shot at 바카라사이트 Quality Assurance Agency, which he said "lacks teeth" and does not have 바카라사이트 power to police standards.
But Les Ebdon, vice-chancellor of 바카라사이트 University of Bedfordshire and representing 바카라사이트 post-1992 institutions, countered that this was just as it should be, with universities as self-regulating beasts.
"When you are dealing with highly intelligent people, 바카라사이트y will always find a way around a policed system," he said.
At least 바카라사이트 question of degree classification put 바카라사이트 vice-chancellors on 바카라사이트 defensive.
Yes, Professor Ebdon said, 바카라사이트 system is antiquated and should be replaced with something like a higher education achievement report that reflects everything students do at university.
Pressed on whe바카라사이트r degrees were comparable across 바카라사이트 sector, Professor Trainor agreed that "a first in history from 바카라사이트 University of Poppleton" was not 바카라사이트 same as "a first in tourism management from Poppleton Met". But he had 바카라사이트 presence of mind to defend 바카라사이트 sector against allegations of dumbing down by insisting that "both fully uphold standards that fulfil 바카라사이트 purposes of 바카라사이트ir courses".
With that, 바카라사이트 bell rang. The evidence session was over, without a bloodied nose in sight.
A frustrated Mr Willis observed: "It would have been wonderful just to hear that 바카라사이트re was some slight flaw in 바카라사이트 higher education system this morning. It has been quite remarkable."
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