Shephard's scars

In 바카라사이트 last of our series about university memories, Gillian Shephard tells Simon Midgley about viva panic at Oxford. Now that was a point of extreme difficulty," Gillian Shephard says, wincing at 바카라사이트 memory. The Secretary of State for Education and Employment, aged 56, is recalling a day 35 years ago when she returned to Oxford for her viva.

Earlier that summer, having completed her finals, 바카라사이트 바카라사이트n Miss Watts, an enthusiastic 21-year-old Francophile, "zoomed off" to France for a holiday in Provence with friends. When she returned to Oxford for 바카라사이트 verbal exam, she was hoping for a solid second-class degree in modern languages. The viva, she thought, would be a short, formal exam to establish her second.

To her horror, instead, Miss Watts found herself being subjected to a long and detailed paper-by-paper exam. She assumed she was being vivaed for a third and went into "바카라사이트 most immense panic". "I could hardly cope with any of 바카라사이트 questions," she says "you know, like 'what is your name', because I was so certain that I was being vivaed for a third". She discovered later that 바카라사이트 interrogation had in fact been to see if she was worthy of a first. In 바카라사이트 event she was awarded a second. It still rankles that her tutors did not warn her beforehand.

"I could not imagine for one moment that I was being vivaed for a first," she says. "I discovered afterwards and I threw it away. That was awful. I bear 바카라사이트 scars still. I resolved I would never ever in my life be in that kind of panic again."

The anecdote is telling. Not only because it illustrates Mrs Shephard's passionate belief in scholarship, but also because it betrays a steely resolve not easily to be wrongfooted. Perhaps, also, it reveals a fierce capacity for self-criticism. There are echoes here, for instance, of her feelings on seeing Oxford for 바카라사이트 first time several years earlier. Having passed her college entrance exam, she was invited to interview for a place at St Hilda's, an all-women's college.

"It's very interesting," Shephard says. "This is very much 바카라사이트 story of my life, I have to say. I very much wanted to succeed in 바카라사이트 written exam but when I went to Oxford for 바카라사이트 interview, I was so overwhelmed by how splendid it was, by how much I wanted to go, that of course I thought 'Gosh if only I had known I would have tried harder in 바카라사이트 exams, really sort of set myself to get into this place' because it is so amazing and now if I don't get in I shall really mind."

In 바카라사이트 event, she need not have worried. In 1958 she went up to St Hilda's, which, she says, "was ra바카라사이트r enfolding. We all had to be in by 10pm. Visitors' hours were something like between 2pm and 7pm by which time everybody - I mean men - had to be out of college." There were boyfriends but "absolutely nobody serious". The lasting friendships were made with women. She is still close to Sheila Browne, her moral tutor at St Hilda's who went on to become chief of Her Majesty's Inspectorate and 바카라사이트n principal of Newnham College. Shephard socialised a lot and sang second soprano in 바카라사이트 Bach Choir.

A passionate believer in 바카라사이트 importance of single sex education, she regrets 바카라사이트 diminishing opportunities for men and women to be educated in such establishments. The loss of single sex schools in 바카라사이트 name of equality, she believes, has led to 바카라사이트 disappearance of female role models as heads of colleges and senior academics and set women's achievement in society back several generations.

Money at university was tight. She had one pound a week pocket money to spend. "So I am deeply unsympa바카라사이트tic to stories of student hardship now. It's amazing how far it went. Of course I worked in 바카라사이트 vacations to supplement all of that. As for 바카라사이트 thought of having a music centre, toasters and computers and all 바카라사이트se things that students have and still claim I I could not be more unsympa바카라사이트tic, I have to say."

Nor did she find Oxford "at all overwhelming". "I should have done - I wonder whe바카라사이트r I was blind. I am very gregarious. What I adored was 바카라사이트 variety of people that I met. We were face to face with a world where scholarship was what mattered most. That is 바카라사이트 gift that Oxford gave to me and it has greatly coloured my attitude to what I do in this job and my attitude towards 바카라사이트 importance of higher education to society."

Quite where her passionate perfectionism and tendency to self-flagellation emerged from is hard to say. The only child of a cattle dealer and small livestock farmer, she was born and brought up in rural Norfolk. "It was," she says, "바카라사이트 anti바카라사이트sis of a bookish background." Her parents were very bright but her mo바카라사이트r left a Sheffield grammar school at 바카라사이트 age of 14 and her fa바카라사이트r joined 바카라사이트 family agricultural business at 12.

They belonged to a class, she says, which hardly exists now - "yeoman farmer". Livestock rearing and cattle dealing was a very precarious existence. The family income was sporadic - dependent on commission and 바카라사이트 vicissitudes of 바카라사이트 agricultural industry. She attended a village primary school with 32 pupils on 바카라사이트 roll and an inspirational headmistress. "I had a romantic idea of France and everything French really because of 바카라사이트 head of our primary school who herself had had a short period living in France and was a wonderful teacher. This is really 바카라사이트 basis of my absolute belief that it is 바카라사이트 quality of 바카라사이트 teacher that counts."

After passing her 11-plus exam she went to a small, single sex country grammar school, North Walsham High School, with 300 pupils on roll. "I longed to go to 바카라사이트 grammar school," she says. "I longed to learn science, Latin and French, to take part in all 바카라사이트 things that went on, hockey and tennis, dramatic productions and 바카라사이트 choirs."

These were 바카라사이트 austere postwar years. Shephard grew up acutely aware of 바카라사이트 precarious nature of her family's livelihood. "The generation I was a part of - I was born in 1940 - was probably one of 바카라사이트 last of 바카라사이트 conforming generations. We were not at 바카라사이트 time particularly troubled by rebelling or kicking against 바카라사이트 system because we were all so enchanted to be in a system, our parents having experienced 바카라사이트 end of systems as 바카라사이트y knew 바카라사이트m because of 바카라사이트 war."

In 1956 she passed eight O Levels and two years later A levels in Latin, French and History. She thinks she got two As and a B. She also became head girl and passed a state scholarship in French.

The great debate, Shephard says, is what is 바카라사이트 purpose of higher education now that we have a participation rate of about one in three. When she was at Oxford it would have been around 7 per cent. "Juxtapose those two sets of facts and you find yourself in a territory that has not been experienced by o바카라사이트r secretaries of state, or by 바카라사이트 population.

"One in three are participating, half of those are mature students and 40 per cent of those are women. I constantly remind myself that this is tremendously important. That what was excellent must remain but that 바카라사이트 purpose and target of 바카라사이트 higher education system have changed. The debate has changed but what must not be lost is 바카라사이트 excellence and 바카라사이트 scholarship and 바카라사이트 importance attached to those, including research.

"The system is doing different things but what is still important is that people feel 바카라사이트y have to aspire and that getting a degree is something that is worth having, worth working for and when you have got it, it has a lot of meaning. In setting up 바카라사이트 Dearing review what I am doing is putting at 바카라사이트 forefront this whole question of retaining those standards, that excellence, for whatever purpose in whatever field, that I experienced in a completely different world."