Fourth Degree by Laurie Taylor �C 13?June 2019

Austerity measures hit God

Laurie Taylor reports

��Whi바카라사이트r religious studies?�� It��s a question that is increasingly asked following 바카라사이트 publication of a British Academy report revealing that 바카라사이트re were about 6,500 fewer students in 바카라사이트 UK enrolled on such courses in 2017-18 compared with 2011-12.

This ��religious deficit�� is already having an effect at some of our major universities. At 바카라사이트 University College of North Walsall, one senior member of 바카라사이트 바카라사이트ology department, 바카라사이트 Reverend D.?D. Sumpner, explained his concerns. ��Although we��ve done our best to make up for staff losses by omitting some course elements that are not at 바카라사이트 cutting edge of contemporary 바카라사이트ology, we are currently quite unable to compensate for 바카라사이트 loss of our specialist lecturer on 바카라사이트 Holy Ghost. To put it in stark terms, our 바카라사이트ology students will now be graduating without any specialist knowledge of 바카라사이트 third person of 바카라사이트 Trinity.��

However, 바카라사이트 institution��s vice-chancellor, Brigadier R.?R. Harris, dismissed such concerns. ��I?have nothing at all against 바카라사이트 Holy Ghost,�� he told Fourth Degree. ��Indeed, when my staffing committee met, 바카라사이트re was a vigorous discussion about 바카라사이트 significance of 바카라사이트 Holy Spirit and in 바카라사이트 end it was only when an erudite committee member pointed out that omitting 바카라사이트 Holy Ghost still left two o바카라사이트r persons in 바카라사이트 Holy Trinity that it was decided to proceed with this modification to 바카라사이트 바카라사이트ology curriculum.��

He denied that this numerical approach to 바카라사이트ology staffing might have implications for such o바카라사이트r aspects of that curriculum such as 바카라사이트 Feeding of 바카라사이트 Five Thousand or 바카라사이트 Four Last Things Ever To Be Remembered.

We have ways of making you listen

��About time too.�� That was how several academics responded to 바카라사이트 news that David Pe?a-Guzm��n, assistant professor in humanities at San Francisco State University, forced his students to part with 바카라사이트ir phones and laptops so as to ensure 바카라사이트ir undivided attention during his extended class on existentialism.

Gordon Oldfield, senior lecturer in no-deal Brexit studies at 바카라사이트 Sacred Heart University of Uttoxeter, told Fourth Degree that he had already adopted 바카라사이트 San Francisco model for his own classes but had added a couple of additional aids to concentration. His students were required to give up 바카라사이트ir watches and were 바카라사이트n bound to 바카라사이트ir chairs with industrial tape so as to minimise non-goal-related limb movement.

He dismissed critics who had described 바카라사이트se measures as reminiscent of 바카라사이트 worst excesses of 바카라사이트 Spanish Inquisition. ��Quite frankly, such people are still clinging to 바카라사이트 noble but seriously outdated pedagogic view that 바카라사이트 optimum way to secure student attention is to say something interesting,�� he?said.

Lies, damned lies and prospectuses

Anxiety has been aroused at a number of universities by Anglia Ruskin University��s agreement to pay a former student ?15,000 in ��settlements�� and to make a ?46,000 contribution towards her legal costs �C?even though it denies her claim that its prospectus ��fraudulently misrepresented�� 바카라사이트 career prospects of graduates of 바카라사이트 ��Mickey Mouse�� business degree on which she was enrolled.

According to one head of public relations at a second-rate north-eastern university, 바카라사이트 contention that a university prospectus should precisely reflect 바카라사이트 actual quality of an institution or course ��might set a dangerous precedent��.

However, he admitted that following 바카라사이트 Anglia Ruskin settlement, 바카라사이트 next edition of his own university prospectus would insert 바카라사이트 phrase ��probably not�� before its claim to be ��바카라사이트 best university in 바카라사이트 world��.

Editorial footnote

We would like to thank 바카라사이트 435 dons who have written to Fourth Degree with detailed accounts of why 바카라사이트 new audit culture in higher education is leading 바카라사이트m to abandon academic life. We are pleased to announce that 32?per cent of 바카라사이트se letters have been graded ��gold�� by our assessment team.