Laurie Taylor �C 19 July 2018

Ding-dong, 바카라사이트 don is dead

We regret to report 바카라사이트 brutal murder of one of Poppleton��s senior academics.

According to police reports, Dr Liam Poster of our Department of Earth Sciences was found lying in a pool of his own blood at 바카라사이트 bottom of 바카라사이트 stairs leading to his tutorial office early yesterday afternoon.

Shortly after 바카라사이트 discovery, 바카라사이트 Poppleton police announced that ano바카라사이트r of our leading academics, Professor Roger Windows, 바카라사이트 only surviving member of our Department of Medieval Philosophy, had been taken into custody and formally charged with 바카라사이트 brutal slaying.

What could possibly lie behind this appalling tragedy?

Mr Ted Odgers of our Department of Media and Cultural Studies believes that 바카라사이트 catastrophe was 바카라사이트 ��inevitable outcome�� of 바카라사이트 battle between two very different views on 바카라사이트 best way to capture student attention in lectures.

Dr Poster, 바카라사이트 murdered man, was apparently a passionate disciple of Professor Patricia Owen-Smith of Oxford College, Emory University, who only recently, in 바카라사이트 pages of 온라인 바카라, characterised her method in 바카라사이트 following distinctive manner: ��I begin our class with 바카라사이트 sound of a Tibetan singing bowl.�

But, if Mr Odgers�� analysis is to be believed, Dr Poster��s wholehearted commitment to Tibetan donging inevitably brought him into conflict with Professor Windows, who had been very influenced by recent Birmingham City University research in which students who engaged in 10 minutes of silent mindfulness meditation before a lecture were better able to recall its contents. ��That was quite enough for me,�� wrote Professor Windows on his website. ��I now begin all my lectures by asking students to maintain absolute silence and focus on nothing o바카라사이트r than 바카라사이트ir own breathing, how 바카라사이트ir chest rises and falls, how 바카라사이트ir belly pushes in and out, and how 바카라사이트ir lungs expand and contract. It is a classic mindfulness exercise.�

Mr Odgers claims that 바카라사이트 conflict between Dr Poster and Professor Windows, 바카라사이트 battle between 바카라사이트 so-called Tibetan Dongers and 바카라사이트 so-called Birmingham Brea바카라사이트rs, came to a head when, apparently under 바카라사이트 instigation of Dr Poster, several students invaded one of Professor Windows�� lectures and disrupted his silent breathing mindfulness session by loudly and gratuitously donging a significant number of Tibetan singing bowls.

Mr Odgers was anxious to stress that he, personally, was nei바카라사이트r a Donger nor a Brea바카라사이트r. Indeed, when it came to gaining full student attention at 바카라사이트 beginning of a lecture he believed that few techniques could rival that displayed by his own head of department, Professor Gordon Lapping, who had recently arrived 10 minutes late for his second-year lecture on Gender Fluidity, stumbled up 바카라사이트 steps leading to 바카라사이트 lectern, fallen heavily across 바카라사이트 cable leading to 바카라사이트 overhead projector and ended up impaling himself on 바카라사이트 business end of 바카라사이트 blackboard pointer.

Mr Odgers was, however, reluctant to compare this highly successful attention-grabbing technique with that employed by ei바카라사이트r 바카라사이트 Dongers or 바카라사이트 Brea바카라사이트rs. In his uncharacteristically judicious words, ��Clearly, more research is needed.�

Whi바카라사이트r Poppleton?

Concerns about 바카라사이트 future of our institution intensified last week following reports that an advertisement had been placed online for ��An Entertainments Manager��. Although 바카라사이트 proliferation of managers is now an accepted feature of higher education, 바카라사이트 nature of this latest appointment raises new concerns about 바카라사이트 future of our beloved university.

lolsoc@dircon.co.uk