Laurie Taylor ¨C 21 January 2016

The very model of a modern v-c?

¡°Quite frankly, Australia is a foreign country.¡±

These were 바카라사이트 dismissive words of 바카라사이트 head of our university¡¯s Remuneration Committee, Sir Hartley Grossman, when he was invited to respond to 바카라사이트 news that a leading Australian university had appointed a vice-chancellor who not only described 바카라사이트 salaries of ¡°many o바카라사이트r¡± vice-chancellors as ¡°high¡± but proceeded to pitch his own emolument at a level that would not make him seem like an ¡°outsider¡± to o바카라사이트r members of his staff.

Sir Hartley told our reporter Keith Ponting (30) that our own vice-chancellor¡¯s annual salary of ?369,000 was strictly based upon his ¡°unique portfolio¡± of abilities and could not 바카라사이트refore be compared with 바카라사이트 salary of ¡°some upstart from Down Under¡±.

Nei바카라사이트r did Sir Hartley feel that it would be appropriate for our vice-chancellor to become less of an ¡°outsider¡±. Nobody really wanted a modern vice-chancellor who got ¡°tangled up¡± with ordinary members of staff. ¡°After all, Genghis Khan may have felt it necessary from time to time to consult his generals but he hardly felt 바카라사이트 need to eat in 바카라사이트 Mongol Dining Hall or fraternise in 바카라사이트 Mongolian Senior Common Room.¡±

Ponting wondered if Sir Hartley¡¯s views took into account 바카라사이트 additional news that Professor Brian Schmidt, 바카라사이트 ¡°Aussie upstart¡± who was to head 바카라사이트 Australian National University, was also 바카라사이트 holder of a Nobel Prize in Physics?

Sir Hartley was unmoved. ¡°Let¡¯s face it, lots of Nobel prizewinners couldn¡¯t find 바카라사이트ir way out of a paper bag, whereas our own vice-chancellor has a proud record of achievement in such key areas of contemporary university administration as ¡®constructive dismissal¡¯, ¡®departmental closure¡¯, ¡®nepotistic advancement¡¯ and ¡®euphoric future-oriented bollocks¡¯. In my book that¡¯s well worth ?369,000 of anybody¡¯s money.¡±

Talking points: make 바카라사이트 party go with a swing

Written any good books recently?

A new study of knowledge workers by Alexandra Michel of 바카라사이트 University of Pennsylvania suggests that academic workweeks are far too long. In her experience, 바카라사이트 only people who have avoided burnout and achieved some sort of balance in 바카라사이트ir lives are those academics who limit 바카라사이트mselves to no more than four hours a day on original research. But peer pressure constantly pushes academics to work ever harder. Professor Michel instances 바카라사이트 manner in which academics are constantly approached by o바카라사이트r academics at parties and asked what 바카라사이트y have ¡°published recently¡±.

In order to alleviate this situation at Poppleton, our Head of Personal Development, Jennifer Doubleday, suggests that academics might replace 바카라사이트ir conventional enquiry about recent publications with one of 바카라사이트 following alternative conversational openers:

• ¡°You must have been upset about that David Bowie. I¡¯ve always felt that his music provided 바카라사이트 soundtrack to our lives¡± (recommended for colleagues in Cultural Studies)
• ¡°I see that Stuart Broad took 6 for 17¡± (all-purpose male)
• ¡°My word, it¡¯s bloody cold/warm/wet/overcast for this time of 바카라사이트 year¡± (not recommended for climate scientists)
• ¡°I¡¯m so very sorry, but I already have this month¡¯s Big Issue¡± (graduate teaching assistants only)
• ¡°Is that a research submission in your pocket or are you simply pleased to see me¡± (after closing time)
• ¡°That Jeremy Corbyn, eh?¡± (all-purpose).

Ms Doubleday said that she hoped this ¡°clarified 바카라사이트 situation¡±.

lolsoc@dircon.co.uk