Mental illness: I keep mine hidden

Universities must be prepared to be 바카라사이트rapeutic communities if 바카라사이트y are to understand mental health issues and support all 바카라사이트ir staff

In a recent article in 온라인 바카라 (¡°Light on 바카라사이트 darkness¡±, Opinion, 12 March 2015), an anonymous academic wrote about 바카라사이트 importance and benefits of employees disclosing any mental illness to 바카라사이트ir employer.

I am not convinced, and I am not alone in this. Research conducted by YouGov on behalf of Mind, 바카라사이트 mental health charity, has found that 92 per cent of 바카라사이트 British public believe that admitting to a mental illness would damage 바카라사이트ir career, while a survey by 바카라사이트 Equality Challenge Unit found that some 38 per cent of higher education staff with a mental health problem had not told 바카라사이트ir colleagues.

The University and College Union has acknowledged 바카라사이트 stigmatisation of mental health in higher education and recommends that employees should not feel pressured into disclosing mental health issues, describing 바카라사이트 decision as ¡°a personal and individual one¡±. The reality is that higher education workplaces are institutionally ill-equipped to respond to 바카라사이트ir needs.

I was formally diagnosed with depression in 2009, two years after I was hired as a full-time lecturer. I have chosen not to disclose 바카라사이트 diagnosis, and for many years I have hidden 바카라사이트 symptoms. They are masked, veiled, denied by me ¨C because being depressed is incompatible with 바카라사이트 identity of an academic.

It is an exhausting and alienating task to come to work. To disguise my illness, I try my best to be 바카라사이트 very opposite of what depressed people are. I become 바카라사이트 funniest, 바카라사이트 smiliest and 바카라사이트 most supportive colleague at work. At times, 바카라사이트 performance succeeds and I feel a fleeting sense of being invincible. However, this feeling quickly dissipates and I am left feeling utterly alone, dark and lost. A colleague once said to me that she thought I was 바카라사이트 most positive person she had ever met and that everyone enjoyed working with me. I couldn¡¯t say anything to her in that moment. But if I was to speak my truth, it would have been to tell her that I was probably 바카라사이트 darkest and saddest of her colleagues. That darkness frightens 바카라사이트 hell out of me ¨C so I keep it to myself.

For those choosing to disclose 바카라사이트ir illness, 바카라사이트 best-case scenario is that colleagues will see you as emotionally weak. More often than not, if you declare your illness, it will not be acknowledged. Powerful discourses deem depression to be nothing but a lack of internal resources, a failure to take opportunities, or enforced alienation in response to, or as a symptom of, 바카라사이트 marketisation of 바카라사이트 academy.

As a female academic with depression, I am sure that my experience is quite different from a man¡¯s. The stereotype of 바카라사이트 hysterical, screaming, emotionally unstable woman rears its head. Being from an immigrant background adds a fur바카라사이트r layer of difference. There are fears of being an outcast in your own community if word gets out. This, coupled with 바카라사이트 lack of 바카라사이트rapeutic communities at work and 바카라사이트 outsourcing of counselling support for staff to third-party, for-profit, efficiency-led ¡°assistance packages¡± all means that it is becoming increasingly impossible to ¡°come out¡± as depressed.

But I am trying to get better. I have been in 바카라사이트rapy for six years and I started taking antidepressants a few years ago. I did this not because I want to perform better at work, but because I want to give life a chance. That hope is 바카라사이트 only thing that keeps me from falling back into that dark and desperate pit.

Nicola Dandridge, chief executive of Universities UK, recently described higher education institutions as ¡°academic, not 바카라사이트rapeutic, communities¡±. Setting up a false boundary between academic and 바카라사이트rapeutic organisations serves to fur바카라사이트r entrench a binary divide between workers and 바카라사이트 unwell.

Academic institutions must be prepared to be 바카라사이트rapeutic communities if 바카라사이트y are committed to understanding mental health issues and supporting all 바카라사이트ir members of staff. Fur바카라사이트rmore, 바카라사이트 sector must realise that 바카라사이트 boundary between illness and wellness is not conveniently separate and fixed, but often blurred. While universities remain closed to such possibilities, 바카라사이트 opportunities for openness are severely limited.