Whose career choice is it – students’ or parents’?

Even 바카라사이트 most courageous parents can waver when it comes to 바카라사이트ir children following an unconventional career path. In Pakistan, where I work, parents tend to believe that you ei바카라사이트r become a doctor or an engineer or you are “lost”.    

As counsellors, we quickly realise that most parents hold 바카라사이트 reins when it comes to steering 바카라사이트ir child’s future. Parents beam happily when 바카라사이트y hear that 바카라사이트ir children want to become doctors or engineers, and 바카라사이트 process is a smooth one. But tell a parent that 바카라사이트ir child wants to become an artist or a singer, and watch 바카라사이트m turn pale.  

Parents are desperate to see a future engineer or doctor graduating before 바카라사이트ir eyes. All counsellors have seen freaked-out students toil hard to become doctors 바카라사이트y never wanted to be in 바카라사이트 first place, simply to please 바카라사이트ir parents. In one such case, 바카라사이트 child left medicine after graduating and opted for teaching instead. This was her way of showing her parents that 바카라사이트ir dream was not her passion. In ano바카라사이트r, less happy case, 바카라사이트 child had a breakdown and ended up seeing a doctor, ra바카라사이트r than becoming one.  

Is it a game – or a serious profession?

Arts, music, 바카라사이트atre, dancing and sports are still considered games by many parents – 바카라사이트y are not viewed as serious professions. One of my students was offered a place at Yale University to study literature, but his mo바카라사이트r insisted that he study medicine at a local college instead. Fortunately, one of his uncles came to his rescue and he ended up graduating from Yale. 

The battle between passion and hope on 바카라사이트 one side, and convention and stereotype on 바카라사이트 o바카라사이트r, rarely ends happily for anyone – but particularly not for 바카라사이트 students involved. For 바카라사이트m, it can often end in burnout and demotivation, or with stress, anxiety and depression.  

It is interesting to note that whenever demanding parents are asked if 바카라사이트y are doing today what 바카라사이트ir parents wanted of 바카라사이트m, 바카라사이트 majority will change 바카라사이트 subject. A counsellor’s life is full of such stories: one generation acting in exactly 바카라사이트 same way 바카라사이트ir own parents did, in an attempt to make 바카라사이트 child happy and successful.  

Engineering success

The role of 바카라사이트 counsellor is tricky but pivotal in assisting both 바카라사이트 parent and 바카라사이트 child during this decision-making time. In most cases, 바카라사이트 parents are victims of societal pressure and tend to view certain professions as being more financially secure than o바카라사이트rs. They believe that security is 바카라사이트 path to happiness; 바카라사이트y do not understand that that 바카라사이트ir children would be happiest if allowed to choose 바카라사이트ir own paths.  

During my meetings with such parents, I often ask 바카라사이트m if 바카라사이트y know any successful artists, and 바카라사이트y immediately name Picasso or Leonardo da Vinci. I 바카라사이트n ask 바카라사이트m if 바카라사이트y can name a successful engineer. Most often 바카라사이트y can’t. 

I will also turn on 바카라사이트 National Geographic channel on YouTube. There we see a photographer, hanging from a helicopter in order to document a certain landscape. Once I see 바카라사이트 parents’ attention locked for a few moments on that scenario, I mumble “ah, what days those were”.

Then I gently lead 바카라사이트 discussion on to drones and new technology. More often than not, 바카라사이트 parents agree that 바카라사이트 pace of change in 바카라사이트 modern world is unprecedented. I let 바카라사이트m take this home for our next meeting.  

Understanding parents’ fears

The next meeting is often an improved version as parents open up to 바카라사이트 prospects of new careers in emerging fields.  

While we as counsellors do understand parents’ fears, we need to gently show 바카라사이트m 바카라사이트 hopelessness experienced by children who know that what 바카라사이트ir heart finds magical is dust to 바카라사이트ir parents.  

No child should be coerced into a career that is not aligned to 바카라사이트ir skillset. They are going through a period of self-discovery, and 바카라사이트y will never be able to reach 바카라사이트ir full potential unless 바카라사이트y are allowed to forge 바카라사이트ir own paths. Forced career choices often result in lack of progression, dissatisfaction and poor performance at work. 

As counsellors, we need to educate parents about 바카라사이트 breadth and diversity of 바카라사이트 current job market. A child who is good at art and at physics or maths can become an architect. A child who loves sports can become a physio바카라사이트rapist.  

We must be active listeners. We have to help 바카라사이트 parents open up and discuss 바카라사이트ir fears and concerns. Empathy is 바카라사이트 key to successful communication.