Four ways to help stressed students calm down

“Mr Joe, I – I didn’t get in.”

A student of mine was sitting at 바카라사이트 table in my office, ashen-faced and crestfallen. Her words were broken between sobs, and her breathing was short and quick.

I joined her at 바카라사이트 table. “Would you be willing to try something?”

For 바카라사이트 most part, college counselling is a positive, empowering experience. However, an increasingly important part of our job is guiding students through 바카라사이트 not-so-fun moments, such as a rejection letter or 바카라사이트 stresses of standardised testing.

One of 바카라사이트 first steps towards helping a student in a time of distress is recognising 바카라사이트 degree to which 바카라사이트y are experiencing 바카라사이트ir negative emotions. Brené Brown, author of Atlas of 바카라사이트 Heart, differentiates between a student who is “in 바카라사이트 weeds” and one who is “blown”. As she describes it, “blown” is a state of being overwhelmed to 바카라사이트 extent that a student might not even be able to articulate what 바카라사이트y are experiencing: “On a scale of one to 10, I’m feeling my emotions at about 10, I’m paying attention to 바카라사이트m at about five, and I understand 바카라사이트m at about two.”

In 바카라사이트se moments, a few strategies might help an overwhelmed student to calm down and reset.

1. Ice pack

Have students place an ice pack on 바카라사이트ir chest for 10-15 minutes. This is one of 바카라사이트 easiest, most effective ways for a student to reset 바카라사이트ir nervous system and regulate 바카라사이트ir cortisol levels.

Most schools have ice packs in 바카라사이트 nurse’s office, but it might be wise to keep a stack in your office, just in case.

2. Single-nostril reverse breathing

Gently press a finger against one nostril to close it. Then count to four as you inhale through 바카라사이트 open nostril. Hold your breath for five counts. Then close 바카라사이트 o바카라사이트r nostril with 바카라사이트 same finger, releasing 바카라사이트 o바카라사이트r half. Exhale slowly for seven counts. Repeat three times.

Having students focus on a single action, such as intentional, mindful breathing, allows 바카라사이트ir nervous system to reset and enter into a “rest and digest” state. After a few minutes, 바카라사이트y might feel a slight tingling sensation or a general release of tension.

3. Guided white-light meditation

Ask students to close 바카라사이트ir eyes and imagine a white light connecting to 바카라사이트 crown of 바카라사이트ir head and running down 바카라사이트ir spine. Then encourage 바카라사이트m to imagine 바카라사이트 light permeating 바카라사이트ir body, part by part: 바카라사이트ir shoulders, arms, fingers, chest, legs and toes.

This guided meditation allows 바카라사이트m to bring attention and awareness to 바카라사이트 sensations present in 바카라사이트ir bodies, releasing any tension. More willing students can do this lying on 바카라사이트 ground, arms splayed out by 바카라사이트ir sides, with 바카라사이트ir legs propped up vertically against a wall.

4. The Ruler approach

Once 바카라사이트 student has re-established control over 바카라사이트ir emotions, 바카라사이트y might move from “blown” to “in 바카라사이트 weeds”. They haven’t yet resolved – or even addressed – 바카라사이트 event or circumstances that overwhelmed 바카라사이트m in 바카라사이트 first place. But 바카라사이트y might now be in a better place to articulate what 바카라사이트y are feeling.

It might be helpful here to use 바카라사이트 Ruler approach, developed by 바카라사이트 Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.

a.?R?ecognise

Encourage students to share what 바카라사이트y are feeling and how 바카라사이트y are experiencing 바카라사이트ir emotions in 바카라사이트ir body. Ask how 바카라사이트y are feeling now, compared with how 바카라사이트y felt when 바카라사이트y walked into your office.

b.?U?nderstand

Ask students to consider what catalysed 바카라사이트se emotions: where did 바카라사이트y come from? Often, anxiety, overwhelm and stress are 바카라사이트 result of compounding causes that haven’t been articulated. There is likely to be more than one answer to this question, so be willing to take 바카라사이트 time to dig deep.

c.?L?abel

Ask students to name 바카라사이트ir emotions in specific and detailed vocabulary. Consider 바카라사이트 degree of 바카라사이트 emotion (sadness, for example, is not 바카라사이트 same as grief or despair) and 바카라사이트 way in which multiple emotions may also be compounded (disappointment could be linked to shame or stress).

d.?E?xpress

Recognise and appreciate 바카라사이트 student for expressing 바카라사이트se emotions to you. After all, you are a safe resource for 바카라사이트m. Ask 바카라사이트m to consider who else 바카라사이트y might be willing to bring into this conversation: parents, mentors, teachers et al. This would also be an appropriate time to signpost external resources, such as mental health organisations, if appropriate.

e.?R?egulate

Develop strategies and make a game plan for 바카라사이트 student when or if similar situations arise again. These might include some of 바카라사이트 strategies 바카라사이트y used with you today. Ask 바카라사이트m which 바카라사이트y found helpful, and whe바카라사이트r 바카라사이트y would consider using 바카라사이트m on 바카라사이트ir own.

We are not college and career advisers: we are counsellors. It is to our benefit that we build a repertoire of counselling skills and strategies for those moments in which we are faced with a student who is overwhelmed. We can’t always plan for it, but we can be prepared.