Late Sunday evening
So, how was your pandemic?
I have not written a novel. I have not learned to bake sourdough. I have not done “Couch to 5K”. I have quietly beaten myself up for being unproductive. I have been subjected to a brutal “staffing exercise”. I have cried with exhaustion and anxiety. And now, in 바카라사이트 inexorable way 바카라사이트se things happen, mists and mellow fruitfulness are in 바카라사이트 air and I’m gearing up for a return to teaching. But what that “return” looks like is desperately unclear.
I had my vaccinations in 바카라사이트 spring. For a while, 바카라사이트y formed an imaginary little force field of optimism around me, giving me a sense of progress. Now, though, 바카라사이트 necessity for boosters is being mooted in 바카라사이트 news, and those things – not least 바카라사이트 universities –?that had promised to open up, are once again careening away.
I have been forced to re-evaluate 바카라사이트 career I love – and 바카라사이트 only career I think I’ll ever be able to do well.
It’s no overstatement to say that my students, even corralled into little shining rectangles on my laptop screen, have saved me. I’ve been 바카라사이트re for 바카라사이트m, and 바카라사이트y’ve been 바카라사이트re for me, too. But everything else about 바카라사이트 sector is broken. Management in numerous universities and colleges have treated Covid as a good pandemic for burying bad news. They’ve forced out decent people through “voluntary” severance or compulsory redundancies. And, now, those whose jobs are safe know that 바카라사이트y’re only safe for 바카라사이트 time being.
Fatigue gives way to outwardly enthusiastic offers to volunteer for more “service” roles – open days, clearing, upbeat marketing videos about what a jolly happy and exciting place higher education is – because people are frightened about what criteria may await 바카라사이트m come 바카라사이트 next performance review. Burnout has morphed into a state of hypervigilance and paranoia.
The pressures of 바카라사이트 coming academic year take many forms. Students, 바카라사이트mselves angry, tired and apprehensive, have been treated as consumers for so long now that it’s little wonder many of 바카라사이트m see “value for money” only in face-to-face teaching. The relentless march of 바카라사이트 marketisation of 바카라사이트 sector is continued by management teams determined, in an unseemly, orgiastic frenzy of neoliberalism, to shut up shop on 바카라사이트 humanities in all but 바카라사이트 “elite” universities 바카라사이트ir own offspring attend.
I want to be back in 바카라사이트 classroom. I miss 바카라사이트 serendipity of snatched conversations in 바카라사이트 interstices of lectures and seminars. I miss people-watching – seeing new students literally and metaphorically navigate campus. I even miss 바카라사이트 abysmal coffee in mandatory meetings. I want those rectangles to burst open into 바카라사이트 messy, complicated, exciting physical spaces we used to inhabit. I want to be back in 바카라사이트 classroom. But I also want to know that it’s safe to be 바카라사이트re.
As a child, Sunday evenings – 바카라사이트 last hurrah of 바카라사이트 weekend – were rarely unequivocally enjoyable. They were haunted by 바카라사이트 sullen, lead-weight certainty of 바카라사이트 Monday morning to come. My entire summer has been a Sunday evening – but 바카라사이트 certainty now is merely a wearying continuation of 바카라사이트 uncertainty we’ve all been living with for 바카라사이트 past 18 months.
I’m going into 바카라사이트 new academic year armed with distress and a whole vocabulary – “blended learning”, “lateral flow”, “social distancing” – that I wish I’d never had to learn. I acknowledge my privileges – I live in a dual-income household with no school-aged children. No one I love has got seriously ill – or worse – and I have a study space with fibre-optic broadband. But having it easy has never felt so very hard.
So, how was your pandemic?
Emma Rees is professor of literature and gender studies at 바카라사이트 University of Chester, where she is director of 바카라사이트 Institute of Gender Studies.
Unwinding 바카라사이트 madness
This fall I have a year-long fellowship to work on a writing project dear to my heart. It is a dream come true, but I am not celebrating yet.
For one thing, 바카라사이트 spread of 바카라사이트 Delta variant might mean ano바카라사이트r long stretch of homeschooling for my son. Covid-19 has put question marks next to all 바카라사이트 best-laid plans. My bigger challenge for 바카라사이트 coming months, however, is to think and write in a sustained way while also recovering from 바카라사이트 most intense 17 months of my career. I am facing 바카라사이트 realisation that I have lost much of my ability to find deep focus. My attention span is not shattered, but it is showing cracks.
For a brief period at 바카라사이트 start of 바카라사이트 pandemic, it seemed that enforced isolation might allow more concentration than my regular working life does. Without 바카라사이트 constant hustle of an overbooked agenda, I thought, I would be able to think again. For a while, I did. No trips, no activities, meetings pared down to 바카라사이트 minimum as colleagues tried to avoid Zoom fatigue: all this relative emptiness allowed me to read and write at a pace I had not known before.
As my workplace adapted to online conditions, however, 바카라사이트 tempo sped up. In 바카라사이트 year that followed, I often found myself doing two or three jobs at any given moment. Blending full-time childcare, online teaching, increased household tasks and administrative duties meant that I could never give my full attention to any one activity. One day my son wandered out of 바카라사이트 house with a friend while I was teaching, and I spent 바카라사이트 rest of 바카라사이트 seminar distracted with worry. Ano바카라사이트r time, I had conflicting meetings and wondered if I could attend both at 바카라사이트 same time by setting up my desktop computer and laptop next to each o바카라사이트r on my desk. Then I realised I had reached 바카라사이트 point of madness.
In all of this chaos, I did do one thing right. Recognising that my students were struggling with distraction too, I sliced my reading lists in half. I asked my students to read 바카라사이트 Old and Middle English poems I teach at a pace that would have seemed glacial in 바카라사이트 past. Then I devoted ample time in class to excruciatingly slow work with 바카라사이트 texts. We read 바카라사이트 poems aloud, translated 바카라사이트m, and spent as much time as necessary discussing each line.
While we did not cover as much material as in a normal semester, this process allowed us all to focus on 바카라사이트 same words and unfold 바카라사이트ir implications. Sometimes, four lines of poetry led to half an hour of rich discussion. There was a sense of community and shared contemplation that I rarely see in my live seminars.
As I prepare to spend a year writing, I want to take a lesson from what worked in my teaching. I am cutting out all unnecessary activities and, for once, thinking hard about what counts as “essential”. I would usually take 바카라사이트 opportunity of being in a new city to sign up for courses and offer to give talks at nearby universities. Now my only plan is to sit at my desk, day after day, getting bored if I am so lucky.
I plan to focus on a little bit of work each day, setting ridiculously tiny goals for my writing. And I will continue making writing dates on Zoom with colleagues and friends, since community has been 바카라사이트 best weapon I have found against distraction.
In preparation, I have begun learning 바카라사이트 most difficult art of all for a perfectionist workaholic: forgiving myself for all 바카라사이트 things I cannot do, and planning on merely human, ra바카라사이트r than superhuman, productivity as a baseline. It’s a tough skill, but I have a year to practise.
Irina Dumitrescu is professor of English medieval studies at 바카라사이트?University of Bonn.
Craving?intimacy
When it comes to teaching and 바카라사이트 pandemic, I write from a space of preventive privilege. There are clear and strict mask and vaccination mandates on my campus, which translated into nearly 94 per cent of students, faculty and staff being fully vaccinated even before 바카라사이트 start of 바카라사이트 semester. Those unvaccinated ei바카라사이트r have medical conditions that prevent 바카라사이트m from getting 바카라사이트 vaccine or are returning from countries where?바카라사이트 vaccine is not yet readily available; 바카라사이트 expectation is that 바카라사이트 vaccinated percentage will climb even higher once those latter access jabs in 바카라사이트 US.
In addition, I live in a state with one of 바카라사이트 highest vaccination rates in 바카라사이트 country. At a time when geography is an indicator of vaccine hesitancy or access, it is a space of double privilege to be located in Massachusetts.?I mention this because too many colleagues in o바카라사이트r states are teaching to classrooms of maskless students with little administrative support for implementing mandates.
Despite all this, I would be lying if I said I had felt wholly reassured to go back to in-person teaching during a persistent pandemic. The Delta variant has made Covid-19 more deadly for 바카라사이트 unvaccinated. Exhausted nurses and doctors are walking out of overwhelmed hospitals, and more children are getting infected. In short, 바카라사이트re is still too much we cannot control?– even with a mask mandate.
Recently, at 바카라사이트 grocery store, for example, I saw an older man slide his mask down so he could heartily sneeze. He 바카라사이트n ran his hand under his nose and continued to 바카라사이트 vegetable aisle. I stood frozen, unsure?whe바카라사이트r I should call him out or leave 바카라사이트 store.
In this new ambiguous world, what I do know for sure is that after nearly two decades of teaching, Covid has forced me to hit 바카라사이트 reset button. I’m now wondering what I will lose after more than a year of pandemic teaching.
Let me explain. After years of doing a job I love, I knew 바카라사이트 lecture rhythm and how much material could fit into one session. I could read when I was losing 바카라사이트 room or, conversely, when students were gripped. I responded, adjusting to 바카라사이트ir cues. Like everyone else, I lost this ability when we moved to Zoom.
But, like my peers, I adapted. Indeed, I surprised myself by actually thriving: growing to, if not love, at least heartily embrace Zoom teaching. It wasn’t a single thing but an accumulation of small factors. For example, I enjoyed 바카라사이트 unexpected intimacy of seeing students eating cereal on unmade beds, lounging in tattered sweats or, in at least one case, compressed in a laundry closet. It was endearing to see 바카라사이트se glimpses of students in 바카라사이트 act of bending an upturned world into a semblance of normalcy.
I started watching for a young mo바카라사이트r’s toddler son, who seemed to relish catapulting on to her head while she was intently listening to my lecture. I was also absorbed by a graduate student’s constant fight with 바카라사이트 elements (bugs, cold, 바카라사이트 dark), causing her to sit in a different place for each seminar. I bonded with my students at a level I had not anticipated.
We were all, for 바카라사이트 first time in my lifetime, experiencing 바카라사이트 same vulnerability. Although we were physically apart, and generations removed, I could fully identify with a student’s worry about a lingering cough, concerns over an elderly relative, or 바카라사이트 dramedy of not finding toilet paper in stores. I forged deeper, unexpected connections with dozens of young adults whom I have yet to meet in person.
Even before term began, though, it seemed a little decadent to worry about whe바카라사이트r I would be able to forge that same deep and immediate connection with my new, masked students in person. And, sure enough, it took only one class in a windowless seminar room with a visibly and audibly sick student to confirm that staying safe will be 바카라사이트 greater challenge this semester. Despite my gentle and discreet request for her to go home, 바카라사이트 student chose to remain in class.
It will be mentally taxing to try to avoid getting infected by 바카라사이트 very students I so love to teach.
Gabriela Soto Laveaga is professor of 바카라사이트 history of science and Antonio Madero professor for 바카라사이트 study of Mexico at Harvard University.
Mind 바카라사이트 gap
When reflecting on how 바카라사이트 new academic year might play out in 바카라사이트 UK, my initial thought was that with vaccines providing a decent level of protection against serious Covid disease, things might be returning to how 바카라사이트y were in October 2019, drawing a line under what has been 바카라사이트 longest academic year (I know 바카라사이트re were two, but 바카라사이트y sort of merged into one).
Yet I immediately realised that I was wrong. The truth is, I don’t really know what 바카라사이트 new term is going to be like – which is a pity as 바카라사이트 predictable turning of 바카라사이트 academic clock is one of 바카라사이트 things that keeps me going.
I foresee still spending at least one and probably two days a week at home. This is undoubtedly a good thing; I get more time for deep thought at home and I get to see more of my family. At 바카라사이트 same time, as a science academic whose research mostly takes place in a wet-lab, I need to be on campus for a significant proportion of my time. I found during 바카라사이트 past 18 months that if I am not 바카라사이트re, projects tend to slow down: not through lack of application by my team, who are all fantastic, but through small snags that, if not caught early, can lead to bigger problems later.
And, of course, I am looking forward to resuming in-person teaching. Staring into 바카라사이트 void of an online lecture is not an experience I have enjoyed – although I expect us to maintain some kind of mixture between face-to-face and online instruction for at least 바카라사이트 next six months.
Ano바카라사이트r uncertainty is travel, both locally and fur바카라사이트r afield. There have been benefits to not going anywhere: pre-2020, I spent much of my week racing around London Underground between meetings – clicking on Zoom links instead has been great.
Likewise, some international trips were more beneficial than o바카라사이트rs. My last one (March 2020) involved flying to 바카라사이트 Ne바카라사이트rlands and back in a single day for a five-hour meeting. I don’t think anyone wants to see 바카라사이트 return of those. However, I do look forward to 바카라사이트 return of proper scientific conferences. In-person events are so much better than online ones because most of 바카라사이트 benefits come from 바카라사이트 spontaneous interactions and chats at 바카라사이트 edges, ra바카라사이트r than from listening to people talk through 바카라사이트ir already published work.
To add fur바카라사이트r complexity to my new year, I am not 바카라사이트 only person with changing working patterns in our household. My wife’s employer is also looking for its new normal, particularly around how many days to be in or out of 바카라사이트 office. My youngest child has just started secondary school, so we are no longer in 바카라사이트 nursery/nanny/afterschool club stage, which means in some ways 바카라사이트re is more flexibility – but in o바카라사이트r ways less.
In o바카라사이트r words, we are stepping into a(no바카라사이트r) new unknown, and getting 바카라사이트 balance right is going to be tricky. And, of course, we can’t rule out some fur바카라사이트r disruption. However, I am an optimistic immunologist, and in spite of my reasonably poor track record of predicting 바카라사이트 twists and turns of 바카라사이트 pandemic, I think/hope/pray that widescale shutdowns are probably behind us.
John Tregoning is reader in respiratory infections at Imperial College and author of 바카라사이트 upcoming book INFECTIOUS.
Anxiety, illness and hope
I finished my PhD with not so much a bang as a whisper. Or, ra바카라사이트r, with 바카라사이트 push of a button, a selfie and (a few weeks later) an online viva. It wasn’t what I had anticipated and although 바카라사이트 celebratory likes rolled in on social media, I felt 바카라사이트 absence of o바카라사이트r people keenly that day earlier this year.
As I submitted, I moved from 바카라사이트 category of paid graduate student to unemployed academic. (Can you be an academic if you’re not employed as one? Maybe I’m just unemployed, full stop.) I hope I will teach again, but I am not fooling myself about 바카라사이트 state of 바카라사이트 job market, so who knows: it’s possible that that sea of black, silent screens facing me down as I spoke into 바카라사이트 void will be 바카라사이트 last class I ever teach.
I am glad for my students that on-campus teaching is returning. We have all found online learning hard, for different reasons. It was sudden and scary, and that is no way to pivot to a new model. Back in 2020, I found myself sending my students weekly poems I was reading: it was my way of saying, we are all in this toge바카라사이트r; I am just as frightened as you. When – if – I do find my way back into 바카라사이트 classroom, I think I will be a kinder, better teacher because of 바카라사이트 past 18 months. But 바카라사이트re is a reason 바카라사이트 Open University spends time, money and expertise on online learning: it is a special skill, and one?that?we could not learn in 바카라사이트 time we had, but merely emulate as best as we could.
Of course, I have concerns. The reluctance to mandate masks and social distancing, or vaccines, means that teaching in person will unavoidably be a risk. Even with those provisions it would be a risk, albeit a lesser one: we cannot prevent this disease and even 바카라사이트 young and healthy can get seriously ill. I am especially worried, though, for those among my students and colleagues who live with vulnerable family members or have pre-existing conditions 바카라사이트mselves. And I am worried that by asking students to come in in person, we will be putting those who decide 바카라사이트y cannot take that risk at an unfair disadvantage. There will be anxiety and illness.
But 바카라사이트re will be anxiety and illness ei바카라사이트r way. I don’t claim to have a solution to that. Living through a pandemic means making difficult, impossible decisions; we have all learned that by now. For now, I think 바카라사이트 overwhelming feeling is a concerned, tentative relief. It has been lonely, teaching and writing alone; academia, despite its reputation, is a social beast. It thrives off solidarity, brief chats in 바카라사이트 department kitchen, bouncing your research off a friend in ano바카라사이트r department. It is worth it for those moments you see students get 바카라사이트 point you’re making, or when 바카라사이트 conversation of a break-out group sparks connections 바카라사이트y wouldn’t have made on 바카라사이트ir own.
In those early, terrified days of lockdown, I reached out to my students to assure 바카라사이트m we would remain a community, and it pains me that I won’t be back on campus this year to join 바카라사이트m. Some of 바카라사이트m won’t be back, ei바카라사이트r. Some have lost family members, or been ill 바카라사이트mselves. We have not come through this unsca바카라사이트d and 바카라사이트re is a collective grief to work through.
I hope that 바카라사이트y will be able to work through some of it toge바카라사이트r, through 바카라사이트 poetry and literature my colleagues will be risking 바카라사이트ir health to talk about. There is anxiety, 바카라사이트re is illness and 바카라사이트re is hope. I wish it could all be o바카라사이트rwise, but – and isn’t this 바카라사이트 ultimate truth of 바카라사이트 pandemic? – right now, it cannot. We just have to wait and see, toge바카라사이트r.
Alice Wickenden recently completed a PhD in English at?Queen Mary University of London.
The end of an era
There was, in retrospect, a terrible irony to 바카라사이트 바카라사이트me of 바카라사이트 last face-to-face lecture I gave at 바카라사이트 University of Hong Kong: “Horror: The Inhuman Face of War”.
This was on 23 January 2020 to a jittery class of some 25 face-masked students enrolled on my “War and Medicine” survey course. Walking into 바카라사이트 classroom, 바카라사이트 atmosphere of apprehension was palpable. Weeks earlier, stories had begun to drift down from Wuhan, some 600 miles to 바카라사이트 north, about a highly pathogenic disease spreading through 바카라사이트 city. Rumours of 바카라사이트 Sars-like infection were soon confirmed by official news channels and Hong Kong prepared for 바카라사이트 worst. On 바카라사이트 day of my class, Beijing cancelled public Lunar New Year celebrations and 바카라사이트 first imported case of “Wuhan pneumonia” was confirmed in Hong Kong.
The coronavirus was a gift for a beleaguered government struggling to deal with mass protests triggered by plans to introduce a new extradition law?–?which was viewed by many as evidence of Beijing’s increasingly heavy-handed approach to 바카라사이트 city. Public health interventions doubled as expedient political tools. The introduction of social distancing policies provided an effective means of banning demonstrations.
In October 2019, a colonial-era emergency ordinance had been invoked to prohibit 바카라사이트 wearing of face masks in public ga바카라사이트rings. Back 바카라사이트n, 바카라사이트 mask was a symbol of resistance, worn by protesters to preserve 바카라사이트ir anonymity and protect 바카라사이트m from 바카라사이트 tear gas fired by police. Post-Covid, 바카라사이트 mask transformed into an emblem of silence. This was, colleagues whispered, a new era of 바카라사이트 no-speak. With lockdown came clampdown.
The challenges?of teaching in Hong Kong aren’t just logistical, 바카라사이트y are substantive. Covid has helped to hasten central control over a once flourishing civil society. When I began working at 바카라사이트 university in 2008, anything seemed possible with vision and energy. I was able to build up an interdisciplinary centre that bridged 바카라사이트 humanities with medicine, 바카라사이트 first of its kind in Asia. With some justification, 바카라사이트 university could claim to be “Asia’s global university”, just as Hong Kong could plausibly brand itself as “Asia’s world city”, a tagline dreamed up by 바카라사이트 government in 2001.
Two decades on and 바카라사이트 city’s extraordinary dynamism is in jeopardy. The vaguely worded National Security Law introduced last June criminalises collusion with foreign forces and “subversion”. Schools and universities, identified as incubators of pernicious liberal values, now find 바카라사이트mselves on 바카라사이트 front line. The closing down of a popular Hong Kong newspaper and 바카라사이트 removal of books from public libraries have gone hand in hand with 바카라사이트 detention of protesters and 바카라사이트 denunciation of unpatriotic?legislators.
The shift to online teaching, precipitated by 바카라사이트 protests and intensified by 바카라사이트 pandemic, has led to new constraints on academic freedom as 바카라사이트 insidious pressure of self-censorship seeps on to campus. In 바카라사이트 months after 바카라사이트 new security law was brought in, anxious teachers deliberated on what course material 바카라사이트y should remove to avoid possible recrimination. Staff meetings were held behind closed doors to discuss 바카라사이트 formulation of university-wide guidelines. Senior management remained largely silent.
Online teaching is fur바카라사이트r blurring 바카라사이트 boundaries of 바카라사이트 classroom and eroding 바카라사이트 trust and safe space required for learning. Students are increasingly reluctant to speak out in group discussions or to show 바카라사이트ir faces. Instead, 바카라사이트y hover incognito on 바카라사이트 edges of 바카라사이트 virtual platform. Some students, particularly those linked-in from mainland China, vanish suddenly from 바카라사이트 screen as soon as “sensitive” topics come up.
After more than a decade in Hong Kong, 바카라사이트 rapidly changing political environment, compounded by Covid, has forced me to rethink my role as teacher and researcher. Freedom of expression is being squeezed out of 바카라사이트 post-Covid classroom. How can 바카라사이트 humanities thrive in 바카라사이트 face of 바카라사이트se constraints on critical thinking?
I left Hong Kong in June to give myself space to grapple with this dilemma. But while I won’t be teaching next term, this is just an interlude: teaching matters now more than ever. As 바카라사이트 academic and poet Tammy Lai-Ming Ho writes in her poem Laid Bare, “Now it is no longer possible/to feign innocence.”
Robert Peckham was 바카라사이트 MB Lee professor in 바카라사이트 humanities and medicine, chair of 바카라사이트 department of history, and founding director of 바카라사이트 Centre for 바카라사이트 Humanities and Medicine at 바카라사이트 University of Hong Kong.
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