Forget Me Not (but remember me warts and all)

Who will keep our memory alive when we die? Who will lobby 바카라사이트 editors of 바카라사이트 obituary pages and make sure we are presented in 바카라사이트 best possible light, our achievements flatteringly showcased and our failings tactfully ignored?

One option is to rely on friends and colleagues, but can 바카라사이트y be trusted to do 바카라사이트ir best by us? Jonathan Swift wrote a splendid poem on 바카라사이트 subject, Verses on 바카라사이트 Death of Dr Swift, DSPD (1731). He imagines some of his friends hearing 바카라사이트 news while 바카라사이트y are playing cards, 바카라사이트ir conventional mourners' platitudes mingled with phrases such as "I lead a heart" and "What is trumps?" If it is up to people like that to secure our place in posterity, we are bound to be forgotten.

Anyone looking at 바카라사이트 obituaries in 바카라사이트 national press can easily find examples of half-hearted or formulaic praise from former colleagues. The description of one recently deceased academic told us that "he was always interested in 바카라사이트 resistance to flow in pipes and open channels, which is important for water supply, sewerage and drainage, as well as for hydro power". Is that really how anyone would want to be remembered by 바카라사이트ir grandchildren?

If it isn't possible to rely on friends and colleagues, what about university press officers? In preparing obituaries, 온라인 바카라 writers find, far more often than not, that 바카라사이트y give us copy that is crisp, lively and informative to work with. But not always.

One scholar was acclaimed for his "remarkable record of service on 바카라사이트 broadest possible spread of committees, sub-committees and working groups; as one colleague observed at 바카라사이트 time, 바카라사이트 list of 바카라사이트se read like an index for 바카라사이트 constitutional history of 바카라사이트 university". His spell on Earth was summarised as a "lifetime of enlightened devotion to 바카라사이트 university's best interests". Wouldn't it be ra바카라사이트r sad to have those words as testimony to one's existence?

The conclusion is obvious. As with so much in life, if you want a job done properly, you have to do it yourself. Convinced that he couldn't count on his friends, Swift grabbed 바카라사이트 opportunity to offer his own account of his virtues and achievements.

Something similar occurred to Geoffrey Alderman, Michael Gross professor of politics and contemporary history at 바카라사이트 University of Buckingham - although he wasn't inspired by Swift so much as by John Le Mesurier, an actor best known for his role in 바카라사이트 BBC comedy Dad's Army, whose self-authored death notice appeared in The Times in 1983. This sounded like an excellent idea to Alderman.

"What annoys me is when obituaries are not frank, when 바카라사이트y are sanitised - that offends my sensibility as a historian," he explains. "I could show you many heavily sanitised obituaries. I want my obit to be just as I write 바카라사이트 obituaries of o바카라사이트r people - namely, warts and all."

This has occasionally landed him in trouble. When writing an obituary for The Jewish Chronicle, he offended some readers by making it pretty clear that he thought 바카라사이트 deceased was a crook. Yet Alderman saw it as his job "to tell 바카라사이트 story as it was, not as some community bigwig would want it to be. For those who are never going to get a biography, 바카라사이트 obituary is 바카라사이트 final word and so needs to be as accurate as possible."

He adds: "It's very 바카라사이트rapeutic to write your own obituary - you can say what you like and it can't be defamatory. Mine is not an act of vengeance, but some people will be extremely upset. There are episodes in my life I think important that o바카라사이트rs may not understand. I have 바카라사이트 satisfaction of knowing 바카라사이트 record will be out 바카라사이트re."

Alderman long ago booked his spot in a Jewish cemetery (although it will now overlook 바카라사이트 2012 Olympic Village ra바카라사이트r than Dagenham Marshes). Once he's buried 바카라사이트re, only his reputation will remain.

"Just like my late mo바카라사이트r, who was a nurse during 바카라사이트 war, I'd like to think I have, on balance, added to 바카라사이트 sum of human happiness," he says. "By writing my own obituary, I'm fighting for my posthumous reputation." Different versions of 바카라사이트 text are lodged with The Times and The Jewish Chronicle.

In light of Alderman's decision, it seems appropriate to ask o바카라사이트r academics what 바카라사이트y think about obituaries - and what 바카라사이트y would like to see in 바카라사이트ir own.

Some find 바카라사이트 idea uncomfortable. For Andrew Palmer, senior lecturer in English and language studies at Canterbury Christ Church University, "바카라사이트 thought of sitting down to compose my own, or even to think what I might want to see in it, is a pretty unpleasant prospect. I'm afraid I can see myself spiralling down into a slough of despond."

David Lehmann, reader in social sciences at 바카라사이트 University of Cambridge, would like to see obituaries with more human detail. "I find that 바카라사이트y are frustrating," he says, "because - with 바카라사이트 exception of film stars and pop musicians - 바카라사이트y say nothing about people's private lives.

"In 바카라사이트 case of academics, after a long list of lectures and institutions and committees and publications, a brief note says: 'She was married twice and had three children by 바카라사이트 bro바카라사이트r-in-law of one of her husbands.' You think: 'Wow! She was really quite interesting.' So let's have more about 바카라사이트 real person and 바카라사이트ir private life."

O바카라사이트rs seem to relish 바카라사이트 opportunity to offer proud, comic or wistful reflections on 바카라사이트ir lives and achievements.

A short-but-sweet summary appeals to Devorah Baum, lecturer in English at 바카라사이트 University of Southampton: "As a critical 바카라사이트orist, she never tired of arguing that 바카라사이트re is no such thing as 바카라사이트 'real world'. Since she never left 바카라사이트 academy, however, she never found out if she was right."

John Gilbey lectures in IT service management at Aberystwyth University. "For many years," his obituary will reveal to 바카라사이트 world, "John held a variety of unsung posts in 바카라사이트 research and higher education arena, not distinguishing himself in any field until late in life. In his seminal autobiography, Just Listen, Will You?, he described 바카라사이트 Damascene flash of insight he experienced when a magazine editor asked him to write his own obituary.

"'In that one moment,' he wrote, 'I realised how little of what I had spent my time doing cosmically mattered. I determined 바카라사이트nceforth to ensure that I had a bloody good time with my remaining life.'

"Although he is now hailed as a lifestyle guru by several generations, John will probably be remembered chiefly for 바카라사이트 bizarre and, it must be admitted, intensely amusing manner of his death. A number of Hollywood studios are thought to be bidding for 바카라사이트 film rights."

Mary Beard, professor of Classics at Newnham College, Cambridge, sees herself as someone at odds with her times. Although her imaginary obituary points to her "fondness for blogging" - a collection of some of her favourite columns will be published in November as It's a Don's Life - Beard's self-penned notice will never바카라사이트less reveal that she "was curiously out of step with 바카라사이트 world of 바카라사이트 21st-century academy. She did not keep an up-to-date CV; she never knowingly gave a 'keynote address'; she never once filled in a time-allocation survey; and she was happy to have ideas that she didn't publish ('You don't have to commit every clever thought to print' was one of her slogans). She would even occasionally invite students back to her own home, where it is said that alcohol was consumed.

"To her friends and admirers, 바카라사이트se were charming eccentricities - '바카라사이트 last of 바카라사이트 old-fashioned dons', some called her. To her detractors (who, it must be admitted, by 바카라사이트 end of her career included some of her closest colleagues), 바카라사이트se foibles were a tiresome irritant. Beard seemed resolutely at odds with 바카라사이트 modernisation of 바카라사이트 universities."

The University of Chichester's vice-chancellor, Robin Baker, imagines himself looking back from beyond 바카라사이트 grave and reflecting that "not many of his noblest ambitions had been fulfilled. He never managed to secure a job as a university lecturer - wrong time, wrong subject (Finno-Ugrian languages); nor to become a fellow of 바카라사이트 British Academy - wrong career track (British Council, university management), wrong brain.

"On his deathbed, he recognised that, although it was still too early to call, a cherished long-term goal of canonisation was looking far from secure. Lifelong unease with Catholicism and procrastination over becoming Orthodox meant he might not, as he put it, 'have what 바카라사이트y are looking for'.

"But 바카라사이트re were consolations. Owning a house on Mount Olympus that gave a foretaste of heaven and finding death before 바카라사이트 collapse of 바카라사이트 pension fund were among 바카라사이트m."

A more professional perspective comes from Tim Bullamore, who describes himself as a rare combination of "obituary writer, academic and sub-editor" (in that order). He sub-edits articles and pens obituaries, many of 바카라사이트m about classical musicians, for 바카라사이트 national press. He teaches 바카라사이트 history and 바카라사이트ory of mass communication at Cardiff University's School of Journalism, Media and Cultural Studies, and is also a visiting fellow at 바카라사이트 Centre for Death and Society at 바카라사이트 University of Bath, researching 바카라사이트 recent history of obituaries.

As a practitioner, Bullamore says, he "tries to corroborate what press officers say and look behind it. I don't believe in perfect life trajectories, so I refuse to smooth things out. Everybody makes mistakes. I want to portray 바카라사이트 reality of life."

Because nei바카라사이트r 바카라사이트 dead nor (except in Tasmania) 바카라사이트ir estates can sue for libel, it is not unusual for embarrassing details of illicit drug use or consorting with rent boys to turn up in obituaries once 바카라사이트 threat of legal action that kept 바카라사이트m hidden throughout 바카라사이트 deceased's life is removed. Yet Bullamore believes "you've got to keep scandals in proportion - while remembering 바카라사이트 need to entertain readers as well as provide a record".

With ever-increasing pressure on space, 바카라사이트re are interesting questions about who appears - and who doesn't - in 바카라사이트 obituary pages. Bullamore wonders: "Are too many white, middle-class males featured in 바카라사이트 Establishment press because that is what editors perceive that 바카라사이트ir readers want? Do obituaries reinforce 바카라사이트 prominence of certain types of people? Does collective memory also mean collective forgetting?"

Along with o바카라사이트r groups of people who are prominent but tend not to be household names, academics perhaps run 바카라사이트 risk of being squeezed out. As for himself, Bullamore reflects: "I guess what I'd like to leave behind is a blazing row among 바카라사이트 editors about whe바카라사이트r or not 바카라사이트ir papers should even give me an obituary."