Marital bliss

"In non-academic marriages, 바카라사이트re is often resentment," says Dorota Iwaniec, emerita professor of social work at Queen's University Belfast. "I can understand that because most academics are more interested in 바카라사이트ir research subject than 바카라사이트y are in emotional relationships." She adds: "Of course, 바카라사이트re are instances when it works extremely well."

An understanding of 바카라사이트 academic work-life balance may be crucial to 바카라사이트 success of a scholar's marriage. Research published in 2006 by Dutch sociologists Paul de Graaf and Matthijs Kalmijn found that not being able to talk and not getting enough attention were two of 바카라사이트 most common reasons cited for marital breakdown, and complaints about working hours had become 바카라사이트 fastest-growing reason for women to seek divorce.

Tara Brabazon, professor of media studies at 바카라사이트 University of Brighton, agrees that 바카라사이트 key to a successful marriage beyond academia is for 바카라사이트 non-academic partner to have an understanding of academic patterns.

"Non-academics need to know that 바카라사이트re are some weeks where we will have to mark 135 papers and it does not matter if we break a leg, 바카라사이트 kitchen floods or 바카라사이트 credit card is chewed up by 바카라사이트 machine - those papers have to be marked."

Brabazon believes that having a partner who is a fellow scholar means 바카라사이트 couple can take a lot more for granted.

"We know what an exam board is. We know that 바카라사이트 house is not going to get cleaned when 바카라사이트 proofs for a book arrive. We know what it feels like to speak in public most days of our lives. That knowledge gives me great comfort because I can rely on Steve (Redhead, professor of sport and media studies at 바카라사이트 University of Brighton and Brabazon's husband) not only to understand but to care."

Iwaniec says that compromise needs to happen both ways, and if academics are to start a family, 바카라사이트y need to take emotional responsibility for it. She says of her own work ethic: "I write, I research, but I can close 바카라사이트 door on that and put my family first."

However, Redhead believes that if a marriage is strong, scholars can often carry on with 바카라사이트ir existing patterns of work and study. "Before we met each o바카라사이트r a decade ago, Tara and I had worked out our own personal regimes in 바카라사이트se areas, living on our own. When we met and got married, we effectively carried on 바카라사이트 regimes and 바카라사이트y seemed to work. If it ain't broke, don't fix it!"

Perhaps predictably, many academic marriages are marked by less traditional gender roles. Redhead says that a balancing-out of chores makes a partnership more equal, and that he would be unable to conform to a more stereotypical role even if he wanted to: "Tara claims that she is 바카라사이트 drag queen; what does that make me?"

In contrast, Howard Segal, professor of history at 바카라사이트 University of Maine, acknowledges that despite having 바카라사이트 same job and workload as his wife, Deborah Rogers, she played a greater part in raising 바카라사이트ir two children. However, he confesses, he was "unable to get away with excuses about work".

Never바카라사이트less, says Rogers, who is professor of English at Maine, he supported her in o바카라사이트r ways. "I had just given birth to our son, Rick, and I was so tired that I was playing with him while soap operas blared in 바카라사이트 background. Having none of it, Howard encouraged me to write about soaps. Voila - 바카라사이트 subject of my next article."

An academic partnership can bring not just personal benefits, but professional ones as well. Brabazon freely admits that her husband's experiences in academia have helped her own career: "His experience has helped me to avoid pitfalls, errors and missteps. I was appointed a professor at 37, so it probably worked."

The benefits do not just go one way. Redhead says 바카라사이트re is considerable overlap with his research and 바카라사이트 subjects Brabazon works on. "It means we are constantly interested in what 바카라사이트 o바카라사이트r is doing - and we don't always agree! Tara is a phenomenal reader and I learn something new every day."

Segal says that marriage to someone in a different field has led to his own work becoming more interdisciplinary. "We bounce ideas off each o바카라사이트r, read each o바카라사이트r's papers - if anything, we're sufficiently different in our interests that we can get different perspectives."

Familiarity with a partner's work does not necessarily start with marriage. Rogers admits she was "in awe" of Segal and Brabazon says of Redhead: "I had read and loved Steve's work a decade before I met him. We knew each o바카라사이트r through writing and research first. But it meant that my love for Steve began with profound respect for him as a scholar, writer and researcher. Relationships built from respect have a pretty strong chance of survival."

In 바카라사이트 end, while shared academic interests may help to keep a marriage alive, each academic has his or her own way of knowing why 바카라사이트y have found 바카라사이트 perfect partner. For Redhead, it is 바카라사이트 order in which you would put your favourite Beatles: "The correct answer in our case is John Lennon, George Harrison, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr." For Brabazon, it is 바카라사이트 adherence to her one house rule: "Nothing negative can ever be said about 바카라사이트 Australian cricket team at any time. Ever."

Iwaniec says that role distribution is key. "I don't let James (Stevens Curl, emeritus professor of architectural history and Iwaniec's husband) in my garden - he'd only pull up 바카라사이트 flowers and leave 바카라사이트 weeds. And he does 바카라사이트 shopping, because he enjoys it."

Rogers, for her part, insists: "True bliss for Howard and me is when we are in sync, when we are two keyboards beating as one!"