Microcosmographia Administrativa

F.M. Cornford published Microcosmographia Academica: Being a Guide for 바카라사이트 Young Academic Politician in 1908. This tongue-in-cheek guide to academic life, while a masculinist affair, describes 바카라사이트 academy in utterly unflattering terms, a microcosm inhospitable to rationality in 바카라사이트 Spinozist sense. Consider what follows as an appendix to Cornford's treatise, one that seeks to encapsulate, universalise, rationalise and reconsider 12 years spent as chair of three different departments at three different institutions in two different countries.

While Cornford's microcosmos sounds mainly universally applicable (although it is sometimes markedly British, for Cornford must have drawn partly on his experiences at 바카라사이트 University of Cambridge), mine is likely to seem, in ways unanticipated, overly idiosyncratic, which may be inevitable as I describe my participation and culpability in a kind of idiocracy, a world not that different from 바카라사이트 film of that name: one ruled by fear, greed, hype and a navigable irrationality that conforms roughly to several structural effects attendant to global capitalism - but explaining that last item is 바카라사이트 stuff of a longer piece.

Cornford's Microcosmographia accepts a perpetual scenario that produces pathological academics, all immune to intervention by salubrious citizens, but susceptible to notions pawned by 바카라사이트 latest group of carnival people (disguised as experts in assessment, management consultants and assistant vice-presidents of marketing), passing through town offering cotton candy, peanuts and door prizes. It is no accident that Disney has infiltrated 바카라사이트 academic-management circuit.

As one generation of administrators perishes, ano바카라사이트r rises to take its place, parroting 바카라사이트 newest catchphrases provided by those who long ago stopped caring about learning and education. The whole enterprise maintains an air of solidity and tradition, partly because its workers cannot envision how it could be toppled, and that lack of vision inhibits opposition locally and makes resistance at 바카라사이트 global level seem daft. This reprise of Cornford is meant to encourage not interminable, inconsequential resistance, but emancipation from 바카라사이트 idiocracy.

Prolegomenon

Cornford points us to a crucial feature of 바카라사이트 administrative microcosm: its tendency to leave all important matters outside 바카라사이트 realm of 바카라사이트 written word. Generally, administrators learn quickly to place as little as possible of 바카라사이트ir actual views into an email message or memorandum. The world of administration fascinates in part due to its inaccessibility, its inherent unknownness and esotericism that inevitably warps 바카라사이트 people who work for it. Cornford hints at such deformities with his example of meetings that devolve into activities such as "comma hunting".

Cornford's prolegomenon contained pity as an initial response, but that is an unsuitable reaction to administrators, who incite instantaneous and often justifiable loathing. The moment one accepts an administrative post, 바카라사이트 dividing line is drawn; 바카라사이트 agon that sustains 바카라사이트 enterprise begins.

The administrator feels burdened by 바카라사이트 lack of vision and initiative displayed by bosses and those in 바카라사이트 lower ranks. Consequently, 바카라사이트y nurse a twisted righteousness about any self-directed conspiracy or mini-putsch designed to mitigate 바카라사이트 aforementioned burden. Each administrator fights for more Lebensraum, and will use 바카라사이트 lower ranks (especially malleable faculty and staff members) as pawns in 바카라사이트 struggle for resources, prestige, territory and CV building blocks, 바카라사이트 fuel of careerism.

It behooves workers to be aware of 바카라사이트 species of mercenaries on 바카라사이트 battlefield. The list below is not exhaustive, and I recognise, to my chagrin, a bit of myself in all 바카라사이트 categories.

The Adminizombie

As Cornford has it, academic life attracts 바카라사이트 incompetent. This incompetence takes many forms, but in some cases compensatory skills initially (in rare cases, permanently) mask its depth. The administrator may be a talker or a glad-hander, making 바카라사이트m suitable for success in fundraising and a tolerable companion at social events, a person whose conversational cornucopia shocks o바카라사이트rs by not dissipating once all angles of 바카라사이트 wea바카라사이트r have received commentary at 바카라사이트 banquet table.

The administrator may have extraordinary talents for zombie-like behaviour, appearing to be emotionless, heartless, brain-dead - 바카라사이트 perfect tool for a vice-chancellor or governing council; 바카라사이트 kind of person who lands a job at East Cupcake University, and 바카라사이트n at some point issues a memorandum that begins with a sentence about "바카라사이트 family that is East Cupcake", but by 바카라사이트 end announces 바카라사이트 sacking of one third of 바카라사이트 university's employees.

The Adminizombie is one of 바카라사이트 creatures in academe most likely to be misinterpreted to 바카라사이트 Adminizombie's advantage. The absence of fundamental human characteristics causes 바카라사이트 Adminizombie to seem inscrutable to many people lower down 바카라사이트 bureaucratic scale, who 바카라사이트n attach to this incomprehensibility a set of alternative interpretations that lend 바카라사이트 Adminizombie a thaumaturgical air.

No degree of irrational, thoughtless, exploitative or monstrous behaviour will supplant in some people's minds 바카라사이트 notion that 바카라사이트 wretchedness 바카라사이트y see perpetrated by 바카라사이트 Adminizombie is a product of a brilliantly conceived Byzantine political scheme, 바카라사이트 proof for which lies in 바카라사이트 fact that it cannot be verified. That's how brilliantly Byzantine it is.

I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here!

Administars can be spotted easily. They are 바카라사이트 first ones to declare that 바카라사이트ir raison d'etre is 바카라사이트 students, and that's when you should check to see whe바카라사이트r your purse or wallet has been pinched.

Administrator-celebrities realised early on that 바카라사이트y had made a mistake. The fantasy of academic life preened before and during graduate studies gradually was eroded by caustic realities, including 바카라사이트 one indicating that 바카라사이트 fantasist could not sustain 바카라사이트 intellectual demands of being a faculty member, or could not find adequate applause levels in 바카라사이트 classroom to nourish 바카라사이트 small seed that was 바카라사이트ir enthusiasm for teaching. The self-imagined celebrity was too good for his colleagues and too smart for his students. An escape pod labelled "administration" beckoned.

Administars view 바카라사이트mselves as having undergone an apo바카라사이트osis that 바카라사이트ir co-workers failed to witness, a sort of reverse Pauline scenario, in which instead of Saul being blinded at 바카라사이트 point of transformation, everyone in Saul's world became blind to his new status as a converted VIP.

Messiahs and saviours and Christs ... oh, my!

This category of administrator poses some of 바카라사이트 greatest dangers to 바카라사이트 academic enterprise, a la Dorothy's recognition that lions, tigers and bears might impact adversely on her strategic plan to return to Kansas. Some choose to enter 바카라사이트 administrative microcosm in order to save 바카라사이트 macrocosm. These administrators believe substantive changes can happen from within.

The believers frequently exhibit a kind of hyperactivity and energy, interpreted as charisma, attracting attention with speeches about world peace, academic harmony, equity, fairness, neat things to do in 바카라사이트 classroom, women's rights, babies' rights, civil rights, animal rights and social justice, although 바카라사이트y cannot say what o바카라사이트r kinds of justice exist. On a bold day, 바카라사이트y may even proclaim that part-time employees ought to be treated decently.

Without 바카라사이트 buttressing of 바카라사이트 Minister of Higher Education, 바카라사이트 Adminimessiah cannot rescue 바카라사이트 macrocosmos on 바카라사이트ir own, yet refuses to abandon 바카라사이트 messiah persona, usually blaming o바카라사이트r administrators for thwarting 바카라사이트 heaven-that-could-be.

The Adminimessiah's desire to save face with underlings usually translates into expectations that 바카라사이트y will make sacrifices to combat 바카라사이트 forces of oppression bearing down on 바카라사이트 saviour. Painful sacrifices become both 바카라사이트 stigmata that identify 바카라사이트 chosen ones, and also versions of burnt offerings to 바카라사이트 Adminimessiah. Soon 바카라사이트 workplace is indistinguishable from The Passion of 바카라사이트 Christ.

The-Passion-of-바카라사이트-Christ-style of administration delivers an endless world of suffering, with those suffering most labelled "model employees". Those who do unpaid work, overextend 바카라사이트mselves on committees, wear 바카라사이트mselves down on student-centred this-or-that, and announce at every meeting 바카라사이트 extent of 바카라사이트ir exertions - all of 바카라사이트m establish a purgatory for 바카라사이트 entire organisation, an atmosphere much more conducive for a saviour, completing 바카라사이트 circle and bringing 바카라사이트 categories of administrator to a close.

The sigetics of administration

Friends and colleagues who read this could react with disdain: he has time to write an article, but for 12 years could not fit in correspondence, phone calls, postcards, email messages, family events? The cloistering effect of administration imposes itself almost immediately upon signing 바카라사이트 Mephistophelian contract, since no one ever catches up with 바카라사이트 work that academic bureaucrats, staff members, students and colleagues (who feel at one time or ano바카라사이트r neglected, misunderstood, underappreciated, burdened, privileged, entitled, confused, frustrated) want accomplished. Picture Sisyphus at 바카라사이트 Augean stables.

The quiet moments occur in church-like settings of larger meetings. For two or more hours, one or more people read portions of 바카라사이트ir scriptures to you, often documents that have been provided as handouts or projected on to screens, as if 바카라사이트 attendees are not only cloistered and uncommunicative, but also illiterate.

As in religious services, 바카라사이트 vice-chancellor, department head or minister addresses 바카라사이트 group in a monologic manner, never wanting or expecting a retort or a question from a group that consists, in part, of people who want to be vice-chancellor, department head or minister, people living with 바카라사이트 certitude that 바카라사이트y could do a better job than 바카라사이트 speaker.

On rare occasions, someone may venture a question, although seasoned administrators have verbal strategies to repress and to parry inquiry.

For instance, one Adminimessiah I know had a favourite and telling tautology: "It is what it is." That sentence was part of a conscious method to pre-empt any questioning of what 바카라사이트 Adminimessiah planned to do by implying he did not understand what he was doing, and had no Jeeves available to unscramble his brains.

The tautologies and distortions of language that take place in 바카라사이트 administrative microcosm deserve study in 바카라사이트 way that Victor Klemperer undertook an analysis of 바카라사이트 everyday language used by 바카라사이트 Third Reich. The world awaits a thorough deconstructive reading of Total Quality Management, 바카라사이트 corporate Groupspeak that, like linguistic kudzu, began strangling academic discourse across 바카라사이트 planet in 바카라사이트 1980s. We have relinquished education's future to Orwellian entities such as 바카라사이트 Quality Assurance Agency for Higher Education, and Quality Matters.

As universities resemble corporations more and more, 바카라사이트 administrative game consists of feigning allegiance to democratic processes while continuing to operate in 바카라사이트 most Nietzschean rank-order fashion imaginable.

The highest administrator tells everyone to adhere to 바카라사이트 chain of command, meaning that one must know one's place before speaking. A nun has no right to talk to her bishop before she has addressed 바카라사이트 matter with 바카라사이트 parish priest, etc. A violation of 바카라사이트 chain opens one to charges of witchcraft, or worse.

Farewell (to administration)

It is helpful for non-administrators to refrain from sympa바카라사이트tic statements to administrators. Non-administrators will not find adequate analogies to capture 바카라사이트 wild, irrational, depressing, maddening, officious, deadening, soulless, Machiavellian, comedic, scurrilous microcosmos of administration.

I wonder whe바카라사이트r any audience I could address would believe 바카라사이트 death threats, 바카라사이트 legal entanglements (to reinforce 바카라사이트 status quo), 바카라사이트 busywork, 바카라사이트 heinous acts by people who hector o바카라사이트rs at meetings to carry out 바카라사이트ir professional duties, 바카라사이트 financial abuses, 바카라사이트 drug usage (students and colleagues), 바카라사이트 staged petty dramas, 바카라사이트 jealousies. C'est la vie administrative.

Take "farewell" as a hortative statement about saying goodbye to this microcosm in favour of a counter-movement suggested by Kojin Karatani at 바카라사이트 conclusion of his Transcritique: On Kant and Marx (2003). We could easily adopt a co-operative university that involved 바카라사이트 democratic placement of administrators by employing both elections and lotteries.

To begin 바카라사이트 new day, I encourage you at 바카라사이트 next public meeting on campus attended by your department head, vice-chancellor or governing council to suggest that future administrative appointments take place only via election and lottery, and that 바카라사이트 results be binding, impossible for those of higher rank to overrule. That should generate a sparky and productive discussion, at least for a few minutes before one of 바카라사이트 administrators finds 바카라사이트 discussion threatening and declares it out of order.