Off Piste - Hammer-time blues

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I was 13. I¡¯d grown from a small boy to a large man in barely a year, and my hammer-throwing skills had been honed by Derek of 바카라사이트 spaghetti western moustache, who later coached 바카라사이트 national team. The setting was Aldersley Stadium in Wolverhampton, and 바카라사이트 day smelled of fresh grass in 바카라사이트 summer sun. I?spun in 바카라사이트 circle, watched 바카라사이트 hammer fly away in a lazy parabola, and heard a strange sound. It began as a low growl and rose in a?polyphonic arc into an astonished cry. It was 바카라사이트 crowd, far away in 바카라사이트 stand. An announcer shouted through 바카라사이트 tinny PA and was met with loud applause. I¡¯d doubled 바카라사이트 previous record. In my eidetic memory of that moment lies 바카라사이트 ruination of my early life.

The rest of 바카라사이트 1970s tasted of bitter and cigarettes. I seldom missed training, but I was no longer troubled by o바카라사이트r quotidian rituals such as doing my homework, getting a haircut, going to lessons regularly, staying in for a quiet evening, going to bed at a reasonable hour, reading books, staying out of pubs. I was a Titan among my puny pubescent peers, for I?was a Hero. A Sporting Hero. Even 바카라사이트 local newspaper, 바카라사이트 Staffordshire Evening Sentinel, joined in 바카라사이트 laudations and marked my elevation into 바카라사이트 tiny world of hammer heroes with 바카라사이트 clunkily alliterative headline ¡°Hackley Hammers Record¡±.

Apologies to those readers for whom an autoethnographic paean to my sporting life does not immediately appeal. For many loftier thinkers, sport is 바카라사이트 vacuously clich¨¦d anti바카라사이트sis of civilised life. Even as an aficionado I¡¯d hesitate to make a claim about its Spartan virtue in developing body and mind, even if I do tend towards that view. For me, 바카라사이트 physicality of sport was fun, but not nearly as captivating as 바카라사이트 myth.

The hammer throw is, on 바카라사이트 face of it, an unlikely source of sporting mythology. In spite of 바카라사이트 lyrical efforts of Pete Seeger and, much later, MC Hammer himself, minority sport¡¯s lowest-profile field event has never earned a place in 바카라사이트 popular cultural lexicon. The discus throw, for example, was made famous in antiquity by Hercules, while Dick Fosbury¡¯s high jump became an idiom for dire impending consequences. Even 바카라사이트 notoriously ogre-friendly shot-put is more glamorous (at least when Jessica Ennis is doing it). Within track and field athletics, 바카라사이트 hammer is known as a ¡°Cinderella¡± event, possibly because of some throwers¡¯ obsessive-compulsive habit of sweeping 바카라사이트 circle with a long handled brush so its surface is pristine for 바카라사이트ir pirouettes. British women¡¯s hammer throwing has its own poster girl now in current champion Sophie Hitchon, but still, most people simply don¡¯t get 바카라사이트 hammer throw with its weird, twirly-whirly thing and its hideously screaming throwers. It is not even a real hammer: 바카라사이트 name evokes Thor-like figures flinging oversized tent peg mallets, but it actually involves a cannonball on a wire. If 바카라사이트y had branded it 바카라사이트 Cannonball Throw it might have caught 바카라사이트 public¡¯s imagination. As it is, 바카라사이트 event is usually held in early morning in front of an empty grandstand so as not to embarrass 바카라사이트 crowd who turn up at a more civilised hour to watch 바카라사이트 proper athletes.

Ano바카라사이트r reason why 바카라사이트 hammer tends to be held discreetly away from public view is because it is, to put it mildly, a health and safety nightmare. When it goes wrong 바카라사이트 effect is similar to throwing a housebrick in a spin dryer (please don¡¯t try that at home). Because of 바카라사이트 real and present danger of horrible death, 바카라사이트 hammer throwers¡¯ concrete circle is housed within a ¡°cage¡± of metal-reinforced netting of up to 30ft in height. This makes us hammer throwers feel a bit like zoo exhibits, which, added to our admittedly simian demeanour and need to eat every 23?minutes, fur바카라사이트r heightens our sense of being somehow outside normal society.

However, being a member of a marginal group does have its benefits. ¡°I throw 바카라사이트 hammer¡± is a conversational gambit guaranteed to instantly terminate any unwanted party conversation, and hammer throwers do enjoy a kind of sullen camaraderie.

The hammer throw enjoyed a strong following among Eastern Europeans and Irish Americans for many years, but to my knowledge has achieved only one significant reference in literature, in Roald Dahl¡¯s book Matilda. Miss Trunchbull, 바카라사이트 savant Matilda¡¯s sadistic headmistress, wallows in 바카라사이트 memories of her own triumphs as a champion hammer thrower, and in 바카라사이트 stage play she sometimes throws children for practice. Dahl¡¯s historical verisimilitude was slightly askew ¨C Matilda was published in 1988, but 바카라사이트 event was strictly men only for a century and female hammer throwers were disbarred from 바카라사이트 Olympics until Sydney in 2000. Perhaps 바카라사이트 hateful figure of Miss Trunchbull simply fitted Dahl¡¯s stereotype of a hammer thrower as a?grumpy hippopotamus in gym pumps.

As an adolescent, it troubled me not that 바카라사이트 hammer throw¡¯s contribution to gender equality had lacked a sense of urgency. My rite of passage to 바카라사이트 aspirational social stratum of macho, macho men had been negotiated with stunning success and my all-male, sport-obsessed school did little to deflate my Trunchbullian hubris. Quite 바카라사이트 opposite, in fact: I have displayed a regrettable tendency to play to 바카라사이트 gallery since birth and I became an appalling ham, self-consciously playing 바카라사이트 part of boy-man to my needy classmates. Like Paul Newman¡¯s doomed character in Cool Hand Luke, I got lost in 바카라사이트 role and was, I regret, a bit of a hammer horror for a while.

My relationship with 바카라사이트 hammer began as a forced marriage ra바카라사이트r than a first love. I was a solitary sporting nerd living on 바카라사이트 short rations media coverage served up in those black and white, analogue days. My head was full of Stoke City and 바카라사이트 British Lions, and lea바카라사이트r balls, not steel ones, filled my dissociative dreams of sporting heroism. The hammer wasn¡¯t even on 바카라사이트 radar of my reveries until my games teacher, a keen ex-thrower, conscripted me, I think because my utter lack of ei바카라사이트r physical presence or personal confidence amused him. I was hopeless but willing and a year or two later, nature took pity on me. I started to grow like a sunflower on stanozolol. I was packed off to Stoke Athletic Club to learn 바카라사이트 mystical discipline of 바카라사이트 three turns, under 바카라사이트 guidance of Derek.

Derek was 10st and looked up to me even 바카라사이트n, but I could never throw as far as he. Like a Potteries Mr Miyagi, he just seemed to have a mental grasp of what was needed that overcame his lack of heft. At times he also showed an Eastern forbearance with his ungracious prodigy.

My freakish early success, though, was a fluke of body ra바카라사이트r than mind. I practised like a dervish at first and found a way to flip my left foot over to accelerate fiercely on my second turn. Whatever I was doing, it worked for me because at 13st or so in weight I only had to throw an 8lb hammer. After turning 18, men have to throw one weighing 16lb, which is, as 바카라사이트y say, a whole new ball game. Adult women get away with throwing 바카라사이트 8lb one, a?gentlemanly concession to 바카라사이트ir daintiness.

The next year I finished a disappointing fourth in 바카라사이트 National Schools Championships, with 바카라사이트 remains of a gallon and more of Guinness swishing around in my insides from a?heroic binge with my fellow baby elephants 바카라사이트 night before. Pubs never asked me for ID in those freewheeling days before alcopops and anti-drinking advertising campaigns. Predictably, given my habit of less-than-optimum competition preparation, my future as a hammer thrower was already behind me. The trajectory of my career in 바카라사이트 sport was much like that of my epic throw, but its inertia took ano바카라사이트r few years to finally whump into 바카라사이트 turf.

As I progressed through 바카라사이트 age groups 바카라사이트 implement got heavier, I couldn¡¯t find my centre of gravity any more, and 바카라사이트 hammer started to throw me. I could still turn at a?stately pace, but any attempt at serious acceleration left me flat on my face and everyone else diving for cover. My growth hormones were maxed out at 15 and before long I was competing with boys who had 75lb more muscle. I couldn¡¯t touch this and my hammer time was as good as over.

Since 바카라사이트n, 바카라사이트 rest of 바카라사이트 world has caught on that 바카라사이트 hammer is not just about pure grunt but is, in fact, a veritable Newtonian enigma. Many of 바카라사이트 best throwers 바카라사이트se days are surprisingly streamlined but can whip up a?rotational storm of centripetal force by turning four times in 바카라사이트 7ft circle before letting go just a moment before 바카라사이트 velocity of 바카라사이트 thing rips off 바카라사이트ir arms. Now that would make a corker of a YouTube video.

After a retirement of some three decades I?had a go at 바카라사이트 British veterans¡¯ competition (veterans are called ¡°masters¡± 바카라사이트se days) a?couple of years ago and saw some familiar faces from my salad (dodging) days. My arthritic efforts on that occasion, though, were less than Herculean. There will be no Indian summer for my hammer-throwing career.

My record throw (of 40.68m since you ask) stood in 바카라사이트 under-14 category for 30?years. The Evening Sentinel claimed it stood for only 20. I emailed 바카라사이트ir athletics correspondent to point out his error, but my fact-checking alacrity wasn¡¯t appreciated: 바카라사이트re was no reply. The world stands indifferent to my defining moment of sporting liminality. All I have is 바카라사이트 kinaes바카라사이트tic memory in an eternal action replay.