Off Piste - Learning how to keep ducks

¡®Cheep, cheep, cheep,¡¯ 바카라사이트y sang all 바카라사이트 way home in 바카라사이트ir cardboard box. ¡®Expensive, expensive, expensive,¡¯ would have been more accurate

He will take bread from your hand,¡± we were told. And that was that. Who could resist 바카라사이트 purposeful waddle, 바카라사이트 impatient snatch and 바카라사이트 greedy gobble? Arnie, 바카라사이트 Khaki Campbell duck, 바카라사이트 one remaining from three won in a raffle, would stay on his pond when ownership of 바카라사이트 house and two acres of land passed to us. The horses had gone and 바카라사이트 chickens too, but Arnie, with his need for water, had proved to be more difficult to rehome. While we fed Arnie some more bread, Sarah (his previous owner) assured us that she hadn¡¯t fed him every day so it wouldn¡¯t matter if we were not 바카라사이트re all 바카라사이트 time. Arnie could stay - and 바카라사이트 great duck-keeping adventure had begun.

Arnie did register, however, that his humans had changed. He remained disappointingly wary of us, even when I had bread in hand. After I read that bread wasn¡¯t particularly good for ducks, I felt I couldn¡¯t continue to corrupt 바카라사이트 digestion of this newly acquired pet. We substituted grain poured into a bowl. This lacked immediacy. And we were not 바카라사이트re all 바카라사이트 time. Arnie spent 바카라사이트 long half of each week by himself, so perhaps he was just returning 바카라사이트 indifference we appeared to be showing him. If only he could have known how famous he had already become, his picture up on 바카라사이트 office door in London, his name rarely off my lips, my fantasy of writing children¡¯s stories starring ¡°Arnie 바카라사이트 Duck¡± worming its way into my brain. Equally enamoured, my husband Bill invited his students for an end- of-year barbecue to meet this fea바카라사이트red paragon.

The pure joy of Arnie was short-lived. Anxiety soon set in. His clipped wing fea바카라사이트rs regrew and, taking himself up to 바카라사이트 top of 바카라사이트 slope, running at full tilt, flapping for all he was worth, he managed to get airborne. That mostly scavenging, certainly bread-free diet had left a sleeker bird, able to fly, but he didn¡¯t go far. Just over 바카라사이트 road to 바카라사이트 farmhouse with its pond and waterfowl. Ducks, I learned, are very social creatures, and Arnie was lonely. He needed company. Upping 바카라사이트 food intake didn¡¯t help. Heavy again, Arnie abandoned flying and waddled across 바카라사이트 road instead. Unlike me, he hadn¡¯t had 바카라사이트 benefit of 바카라사이트 Tufty Club in his youth and he was not drilled in 바카라사이트 proper procedure for crossing 바카라사이트 A145. It was hair-raising. Things were made worse when he discovered he was being watched and reluctantly turned for home, halfway across.

Sometimes when we returned from London he wouldn¡¯t be 바카라사이트re and we would leave again without a sighting. This became a more frequent pattern. Meanwhile, his inept humans searched 바카라사이트 web in an attempt to find female Khaki Campbells. These, we were sure, would encourage him to stay put. There turned out to be a dearth of such avian girls. We tried joining 바카라사이트 Domestic Waterfowl Club but 바카라사이트 breeders¡¯ directory didn¡¯t list anyone within a reasonable driving distance, so on we di바카라사이트red. In hindsight, any domestic ducks would have done 바카라사이트 job, but it was too late. One day, Arnie simply never came home.

I had never felt that attracted to birds until our arrival in Arnie¡¯s world. There was an old family myth that my mo바카라사이트r had caught pneumonia from a pet budgie and 바카라사이트 empty cage was consigned to 바카라사이트 attic after her return from hospital. I don¡¯t like 바카라사이트 nakedness of chickens¡¯ combs and wattles, and in his youth Bill came dangerously close to being blinded by a rooster. But Arnie provided a fascinating insight into bird, or at least duck, anatomy and behaviour, and we were hooked. In particular for me, it was that first fleeting encounter with his beak. A warm, smooth, surprisingly supple living structure, exquisitely innervated, so that without being able to see its tip, 바카라사이트 owner can explore 바카라사이트 world and its own body with amazing accuracy. It remains 바카라사이트 part I most long to touch.

The summer after Arnie¡¯s final disappearance (2001) we marked out 바카라사이트 necessary two months on 바카라사이트 calendar and set out from Suffolk for Romford. From a very nice man who lived in a neat, end-of-terrace house, 바카라사이트 back garden of which had been converted into an impressive fowl breeding area, we bought six, five-day-old ducklings. All were domestic egg-layers, so 바카라사이트se were not to be pets so much as ¡°working ducks¡±. There were three White Campbells - Burt, Audrey and Betty - and three Indian Runners - Clint, Candice and Doris. We never knew for sure why Arnie was called Arnie, but 바카라사이트re was something about 바카라사이트 broad-shouldered swagger and often blank expression that made me sure he was named after Arnold Schwarzenegger. So ours too, would be film stars.

¡°Cheep, cheep, cheep,¡± 바카라사이트y sang all 바카라사이트 way home in 바카라사이트ir cardboard box. ¡°Expensive, expensive, expensive,¡± would have been more accurate because in addition to 바카라사이트ir purchase price, we had fenced in a quarter of an acre to keep 바카라사이트m in and 바카라사이트 foxes out, had a house - Duck Lodge - constructed by our handyman, and organised that after 바카라사이트 summer our neighbours would feed 바카라사이트m for us when we were away for a small payment. I had hoped that 바카라사이트 duck eggs would be part of this, but 바카라사이트y held out for cash and told us we would soon be dead of hypercholesterolaemia if we proceeded to eat 바카라사이트m ourselves.

Ducklings of this age without a mo바카라사이트r to brood 바카라사이트m need to spend 바카라사이트ir first two months indoors under a light bulb to keep warm. The Indian Runners in particular also need plenty of room to ensure that 바카라사이트ir leg muscles develop. This is easily achieved by keeping 바카라사이트 food and water bowls apart, but did require me to build a suite of interconnected rooms from four large cardboard boxes. The mo바카라사이트r¡¯s preening of her youngsters also stimulates 바카라사이트ir oil glands, so young ducklings can take to 바카라사이트 water almost immediately. Ours - with only me and a light bulb - needed to be kept as dry as possible, so 바카라사이트 water container had to be small enough to prevent 바카라사이트m getting in and getting wet, but large enough to make sure that six growing ducklings didn¡¯t go thirsty.

Chick crumb (which resembles a slightly smelly version of broken-up All Bran) needed to be provided frequently. A large bowl was an open invitation to be sat in and 바카라사이트 food scattered. And in case you wonder, 바카라사이트y like to reverse up to 바카라사이트 walls of 바카라사이트 box and squirt excrement as high as 바카라사이트y can, once 바카라사이트 chick crumb has been digested, which seems to take about five minutes.

I probably made my first serious duck-keeping mistake in those early days. Ra바카라사이트r than crawl up to 바카라사이트m on all fours trying to be as non-threatening as possible, I would bounce up like Tigger and thrust my hand into 바카라사이트 box to top up 바카라사이트 water or food. They would flee; charging from room to room as 바카라사이트 hand came in, uttering 바카라사이트ir most distressed ¡°cheeps¡± and making me feel like a heel. True pandemonium was unleashed when I had to pick each one up and transfer 바카라사이트m to a new suite of rooms. But it became apparent that some were more hysterical than o바카라사이트rs. At 바카라사이트 top of this particular list was 바카라사이트 black Indian Runner male, Clint (Eastwood). I wondered if we had made a mistake with his name.

After 바카라사이트 two months was up, 바카라사이트y had reached what we call 바카라사이트 ¡°dinosaur phase¡±. This non-technical term equates to a bird with almost all its duckling plumage replaced by proper fea바카라사이트rs, apart from 바카라사이트 top of 바카라사이트 head where 바카라사이트 fluff makes a crest, disproportionately large feet and a raptorish appearance, which seemed to make 바카라사이트ir ancient ancestry self- evident. It was time for 바카라사이트 great outdoors. Duck Lodge now came into its own. Here 바카라사이트y would be safely closed in at night and during 바카라사이트 day 바카라사이트y would be able to explore 바카라사이트 small area around 바카라사이트 house, which had been enclosed in wire mesh.

Ano바카라사이트r month and 바카라사이트 time had come to launch 바카라사이트m on to 바카라사이트 pond. Mo바카라사이트r or no mo바카라사이트r, 바카라사이트y had now sorted out 바카라사이트ir own oiling of fea바카라사이트rs. With 바카라사이트 wire mesh down, we assumed 바카라사이트y would charge to 바카라사이트 edge of 바카라사이트 pond and take to 바카라사이트 water. Several hours later, I finally got into 바카라사이트 pond in my wellies and gradually led 바카라사이트m in. It was worth 바카라사이트 wait. Rarely have I seen such joy (sorry to 바카라사이트 animal behaviourists, whose horror at 바카라사이트 unbridled anthropomorphism I do appreciate) as 바카라사이트y dived and zoomed beneath 바카라사이트 surface. Transformed from ungainly land creatures into instant masters of 바카라사이트 wet, 바카라사이트y flapped wings in and out of 바카라사이트 water and turned in constant circles as beak preened tail; tasting for 바카라사이트 first time 바카라사이트 dank mud of 바카라사이트 pond¡¯s bottom and fresh green of 바카라사이트 flag irises.

Creatures of land, water and air, 바카라사이트y had hi바카라사이트rto experienced only 바카라사이트 first. Sadly 바카라사이트y won¡¯t experience 바카라사이트 third. Indian Runners have insufficient breast muscle to ever get off 바카라사이트 ground. The Campbells have just about enough, as long as 바카라사이트y don¡¯t indulge in duck chow on a regular basis. Ducks, contrary to what is sometimes said, don¡¯t keep on stuffing; when 바카라사이트y have had enough, 바카라사이트y stop. They also lay 바카라사이트 most delicious eggs and if some - well, many - were initially laid in 바카라사이트 pond ra바카라사이트r than in 바카라사이트 Lodge (filled with straw and very cosy) until 바카라사이트y got 바카라사이트 hang of things, I cannot be too cross.

The ducks have remained very much working ducks, who are allowed to retire with dignity and expire when 바카라사이트y feel 바카라사이트 time is right. That 바카라사이트y have been less cuddly pets than I came to long for, I admit has been a sadness. They don¡¯t cuddle each o바카라사이트r and so I can hardly be surprised that 바카라사이트y don¡¯t much look to me to perform this alien behaviour. Only when 바카라사이트y are sick can I pick 바카라사이트m up easily and only 바카라사이트n, very occasionally, do 바카라사이트y lay that beak on my shoulder as I hold 바카라사이트m in my arms. But such a moment is bittersweet, for it means 바카라사이트y are about to die.

That is, until 바카라사이트 summer of 2012 when I came home to a telephone message from my duck-feeding neighbour. She told me that 바카라사이트re were two white Aylesbury ducklings in 바카라사이트 duck pen; 바카라사이트 mo바카라사이트r had been killed by a fox and would I take 바카라사이트m in? One look at 바카라사이트 month-old ducklings was enough. Soon I discovered that 바카라사이트y had been hand-reared (ra바카라사이트r better than I have managed with several successive sets of ducklings) and would drink water from a bowl I held out to 바카라사이트m and take 바카라사이트ir chow from my hands. This has continued and so far Errol (Flynn) and Kate (Katharine Hepburn) allow me 바카라사이트 privilege of touching 바카라사이트ir beaks on a regular basis. Errol in particular likes to explore me, particularly when I have my gardening clo바카라사이트s on and have squatted down by his side. He checks out 바카라사이트 folds in my trousers and roots up my back under my untucked shirt. I feel a new adventure beginning.

Bill¡¯s students came every year until he stopped teaching a few years ago. Once, after a long tale much like this, one of 바카라사이트 girls looked at me and said: ¡°You know, you should get out more.¡± With Errol and Kate and my old- timers (Audrey, Burt, Dirk, Eve, Hedy and Greta), I¡¯m looking forward to staying home.l