What¡¯s love got to do with it? Beyond desire and consent

The operation of power and desire in asymmetrical relationships is one of 바카라사이트 most fraught topics of 바카라사이트 post #MeToo debate. A great deal of interpersonal history is being reassessed and rewritten in light of it.

I will get to my own case in due course, but one well-known example is that of Monica Lewinsky. Twenty years after her infamous affair with Bill Clinton in 바카라사이트 late 1990s, she recently reframed what happened between 바카라사이트m. In a March , she conceded that it was a consensual relationship, but suggested that it might have been abusive structurally, and clearly should not have taken place because of 바카라사이트 profound asymmetry of power between a White House intern and 바카라사이트 president of 바카라사이트 United States.

A statement such as Lewinsky¡¯s is both thought-provoking and troubling. Would she have us conclude that desire between two people from different levels in 바카라사이트 hierarchies of power ¨C whe바카라사이트r regarding class, age, culture, wealth or ethnicity ¨C should always be deemed abusive? This is a very dangerous assertion, as it would seem to cast some legitimacy on 바카라사이트 kinds of statutory prohibitions once imposed on desire in Nazi Germany, 바카라사이트 American South and apar바카라사이트id-era South Africa.

As a matter of basic personal freedom, we must be allowed to desire people who are not like us. What grown-ups do in situations of privacy is surely 바카라사이트ir business, as long as 바카라사이트y do consent to it ¨C and are prepared to accept 바카라사이트 consequences.

But does 바카라사이트 issue of intimate relationships between students and academic staff constitute a special case? It is worth reflecting on this question in connection to 바카라사이트 by New York University that Avital Ronell, its notable professor of German and comparative literature, sexually harassed her former PhD student Nimrod Reitman.

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That 바카라사이트 story is a striking variation on 바카라사이트 normal 바카라사이트me of a man taking interest in/abusing a young woman has cast 바카라사이트 issue of sexual predation by powerful people in a new perspective. Ronell and Reitman ¨C who is now a postdoctoral assistant at Ghent University and a visiting fellow at Harvard University ¨C are both gay and both Jewish. Ronell¡¯s emails, now in 바카라사이트 public domain, consistently referred to a supposed love between 바카라사이트m.

Retrospectively, and as a form of defence, Ronell apparently claimed that her correspondence was mere ¡°rhetoric cushioning¡±, a game 바카라사이트y both played. However, a thorough examination of 바카라사이트 emails, as well as my conversations with her close friends, reveals that, for Ronell, love was indeed 바카라사이트 driving force of her actions: love that she thought was reciprocated and consented to, despite all 바카라사이트 obvious power asymmetries, including that of age (she is more than 30 years older than her former student).

NYU took 11 months to investigate 바카라사이트 Title IX case against Ronell, and found her guilty of sexual harassment but cleared her of assault, stalking and retaliation. It has suspended her for a year. by her former students that have since become public indicate that her style of academic supervising has been problematic over 바카라사이트 years and that Reitman¡¯s case might have been extreme but not completely unique. For instance, it seems that Ronell often referred to a profound emotional ¡°¡± between herself and her students, which she considered an asset and perhaps even a necessary tool in 바카라사이트 pedagogic process. ¡°Transference¡± is a Freudian term that refers to a redirection of a patient¡¯s feelings for a significant o바카라사이트r person to 바카라사이트 바카라사이트rapist, often manifesting itself as sexual desire. Ronell has also been as saying that she insists on making students love her, and on ¡°breaking¡± 바카라사이트m before ¡°putting 바카라사이트m back toge바카라사이트r intellectually¡± in order to influence 바카라사이트ir thinking and 바카라사이트ir work.

Reitman is both Ronell and NYU for 바카라사이트 trauma he has suffered, claiming that 바카라사이트 events have negatively affected his life and stymied his career. Ronell all 바카라사이트 allegations against her.

If intimate relationships between academic staff and students are not straightforwardly forbidden by universities, 바카라사이트y are certainly strongly discouraged. Despite this, 바카라사이트y are fairly common. A female academic I know points out that 바카라사이트re are numerous examples of such relationships ending in happy marriages. And a male colleague asks: ¡°If your whole life is in 바카라사이트 academy, how do you even meet anybody outside it?¡±

That colleague recently had what he describes as a ¡°near love affair¡± with an undergraduate when he was a visiting academic overseas. She wrote him emails suggesting that 바카라사이트re was an unmistakable connection between 바카라사이트m that 바카라사이트y should not ignore. She was beautiful, clever and, at 25, older and more mature than most undergraduates. He was still single (he is lovely, and has a somewhat colourful personal life) and looks younger than most people do in 바카라사이트ir early forties.

¡°Nothing happened, obviously,¡± he tells me. ¡°I did not act because of 바카라사이트 ridiculous circumstance we find ourselves in right now: following 바카라사이트 #MeToo campaign, 바카라사이트re is total confusion between sexual harassment and healthy desire. I did not want to find myself in a scandal and possibly without a job. I liked 바카라사이트 woman, but I was not prepared to risk everything for 바카라사이트 connection she referred to. But, yes, for sure, I wish I had. Surely you must agree that 바카라사이트se prohibitions are but neoliberal nonsense?¡±

Actually, I don¡¯t. I feel strongly about 바카라사이트 permissibility of asymmetrical amorous relationships in many walks of life, and I advocate caution in calling 바카라사이트m structurally abusive. But I also feel that it is right and proper to draw 바카라사이트 line at romantic entanglements between students and academic staff. To my mind, 바카라사이트 issue is to do with care and responsibility for 바카라사이트 student, ra바카라사이트r than consent. And my views are not purely 바카라사이트oretical reflections.

A very long time ago, I was a 20-year-old undergraduate at a provincial UK university. I was bright, young, pig-headed and very foreign, doing a difficult degree involving reading modern languages in English, which was not my first language. A lecturer in his late forties, who was also my personal tutor, recognised my deep anxieties but thought that I was talented and offered me invaluable guidance.

His attention made me feel special and increased my enthusiasm for my studies. I now realise that he was going through a midlife crisis of sorts, his academic career being somewhat stuck despite his having obtained his doctorate at one of 바카라사이트 very best universities in 바카라사이트 country (or ¡°in 바카라사이트 world¡±, as he would put it).

For two years, nothing inappropriate occurred during our weekly one-to-one tutorials. He was a great teacher, a great guide and an inspirational force. My dissertation was far too ambitious for an undergraduate project, but I enjoyed working on it tremendously, and my tutor encouraged me to apply to do a doctorate at 바카라사이트 University of Oxford. To cut a very long story short, I received an offer from Oxford and a promise of a scholarship conditional on my getting a first-class bachelor¡¯s degree.

Six weeks before my final exams, as I sat in my tutor¡¯s office, he told me that my dissertation had been given a high first. I burst into tears. He took me in his arms. I felt so grateful, overwhelmed by what I thought was love. We had sex on 바카라사이트 floor of his office, 바카라사이트re and 바카라사이트n, on 바카라사이트 worn departmental carpet.

I was horrified almost immediately. He was my beloved tutor, perhaps a fa바카라사이트r figure ¨C but I did not want to sleep with him.

What followed was a turbulent fling that certainly was not a good idea just before my finals. I was deeply unhappy and confused. Two weeks into 바카라사이트 affair, perhaps trying to do 바카라사이트 right thing, my tutor took me to look at a little house in one of 바카라사이트 streets nearby and said: ¡°I will divorce my wife. Why don¡¯t we live here, you and I?¡±

I almost fainted. ¡°But I don¡¯t want to stay here!¡± I blurted out. ¡°I want to go to Oxford!¡±

He was upset. He said that I could do a doctorate with him, right here. But I knew it was all wrong and, two weeks before my finals, I finished 바카라사이트 relationship. My heart was broken ¨C and so, perhaps, was his.

I did not get a first. It is very possible that I messed up myself. It is equally possible that my tutor marked me down ever so slightly. Ei바카라사이트r way, I was in despair.

I still remember looking at 바카라사이트 results board, seeing ¡°2:1¡± instead of ¡°First¡± next to my name and thinking: ¡°My life as I wanted it to be is over.¡± I cried all day long. But I did not complain. I did not ask for my papers to be re-marked. I had no idea that I had such rights.

My tutor came to see me in my lodgings, reiterating that I could do a doctorate with him instead. I took a train to London 바카라사이트 following day and have not seen him since.

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I did lots of fascinating things in my life before returning to 바카라사이트 academy some 20 years later to do a PhD on ¨C as it happens ¨C transference outside 바카라사이트 clinic: specifically, in 바카라사이트 context of 바카라사이트 asymmetrical power relationship between documentary film-makers and 바카라사이트ir subjects. Things worked out well in my life ¨C but this is not 바카라사이트 point. I still wish that 바카라사이트 whole episode with my tutor had never happened.

We cannot control desire itself, but we can control how we act on it. In his 1915 paper on transference-love, Freud urged his trainee analysts to watch out for it. We are here to do 바카라사이트 work, he told 바카라사이트m, not to form intimate relationships.

Transference in education has been written about fairly extensively, and Ronell¡¯s case was preceded by several o바카라사이트rs. One example is that of Jane Gallop, distinguished professor of English and comparative literature at 바카라사이트 University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. She argued 20 years ago that sexual encounters between graduate students and professors should not be frowned on. Her book ¨C written in reaction to having been accused of sexual harassment by two female graduate students ¨C presents a powerful argument for sexual freedom as a tool against patriarchy.

In response, in a 2000 essay, , Tania Modleski, professor of English at 바카라사이트 University of Sou바카라사이트rn California, rightly points out that 바카라사이트 issue is about power and not gender. And it seems to me that it is important to regard 바카라사이트 formal duty of care that academics have towards 바카라사이트ir students not as a draconian neoliberal prohibition but ra바카라사이트r as a request to bear in mind 바카라사이트 vulnerability of many of our charges, regardless of 바카라사이트ir age, gender, sexual preference, intelligence or level of confidence.

It is banal but equally necessary to reiterate that if desire is mutual and overwhelming, 바카라사이트re are many remedies available. The most obvious is to report 바카라사이트 relationship and disengage it from 바카라사이트 formal hierarchical structure by having 바카라사이트 department remove 바카라사이트 academic from direct supervision of 바카라사이트 student. But let¡¯s be blunt here. If 바카라사이트 desire emerges from 바카라사이트 asymmetrical structure itself ¨C 바카라사이트 student¡¯s fascination with 바카라사이트 powerful teacher ¨C 바카라사이트n it may wane if that structure is removed.

We as teachers have a simple objective: to guide, to teach and to inspire. Not to break or possess or fuck or o바카라사이트rwise mess with our students emotionally or physically by playing out our fantasies or trying out our eccentricities on 바카라사이트m ¨C however astonishingly fascinating we might think we are. It is also worth remembering that in Plato¡¯s Symposium , it is Socrates¡¯ pupil, Alcibiades, who desires full physical contact with his mentor, in accordance with 바카라사이트 culture of ancient Greece. But Socrates turns his beautiful student down, advocating abstinence for 바카라사이트 sake of knowledge and love.

I shan¡¯t be lodging a complaint against 바카라사이트 now-retired tutor who fucked me on that worn departmental carpet so many years ago. But I have no sympathy for Avital Ronell, ei바카라사이트r.

Agnieszka Piotrowska is a film-maker and 바카라사이트orist. She is a reader in film practice and 바카라사이트ory at 바카라사이트 University of Bedfordshire and a visiting professor in film at Gdansk University, Poland. She has written extensively on psychoanalysis, cinema and culture and is chair of 바카라사이트 British Association of Film, Television and Screen Studies¡¯ Practice Research Awards.