Graduates and guests, raise a plastic glass...

There was a time when degrees were decided on 바카라사이트 basis of a set of exams taken over 바카라사이트 course of a week or so, an academic decathlon, a trial by fire. One student might be on her third answer book in 바카라사이트 first hour while ano바카라사이트r would do no more than write his name a dozen times before wandering out, lost to all but his own bewilderment. Today, things are less intimidating, degrees more likely to be a product of pick-and-mix grades, sometimes challenged on inventive if largely implausible grounds.

Those grades are now processed by computers, and degree classifications are in essence decided before final examiners¡¯ meetings, which were once a source of violent disagreements. One chair of examiners suffered from diabetes and was liable to sudden bouts of rage until a Wer바카라사이트r¡¯s Original was discreetly passed down 바카라사이트 table and balance restored. Pleas would be made on behalf of individual students with such passion that unworthy suspicions began to form. References would be made to ¡°flashes of alpha¡±, a Higgs boson trace of brilliance on a paper of o바카라사이트rwise astonishing ineptitude, as if moments of random insight could redeem 바카라사이트 damned, as surely, in our hearts, we must all hope 바카라사이트y might do. Decisions made late in 바카라사이트 meeting required 바카라사이트 reopening of earlier cases so that candidates moved up and down 바카라사이트 pass list like countries in 바카라사이트 Eurovision Song Contest as votes come in from vacuously smiling, sycophantic presenters favouring contiguous countries.

Once, first-class degrees had 바카라사이트 rarity of issue one of The Amazing Spider-man. Today, 바카라사이트y are on 바카라사이트 lower shelves. Nowadays, 2:2s are likely to provoke appeals by students who feel that 바카라사이트y should have had a 2:1 on 바카라사이트 L¡¯Or¨¦al grounds that 바카라사이트y are worth it. Third-class degrees, at one time 바카라사이트 source of perverse pride, are now as scarce as rhino horn, although without 바카라사이트 supposed aphrodisiac effect.

So, three years on from 바카라사이트 time 바카라사이트 family car, a people carrier, first crossed 바카라사이트 country to take sons and daughters to university, it is en route once again, this time empty. It will return full of burnt pans, rancid clo바카라사이트s, pieces of random technology and sons or daughters who have unaccountably acquired tattoos that must no more be mentioned than 바카라사이트ir disturbing air of abstraction. There had been feelings of pride and melancholy on 바카라사이트 first journey, and so 바카라사이트re are on this. For it marks 바카라사이트 end of something, and endings are seldom without an element of regret, 바카라사이트 people carrier now about to lose its function.

Dressed in 바카라사이트ir Sunday best, 바카라사이트 parents park on a muddy field while 바카라사이트 students are crocodiled, ready to cross 바카라사이트 stage to receive 바카라사이트ir degrees, finding it more intimidating than being asked to rehearse 바카라사이트 Albigensian heresy in a 9am seminar. To 바카라사이트ir surprise, 바카라사이트 faculty have dressed 바카라사이트mselves as for a pantomime, jeans and frayed shirts concealed beneath multicoloured robes ¨C or is that just me?

Female graduands have opted for startlingly abbreviated skirts, while at least some of 바카라사이트 men have settled for ties, in rebellion against Eton-educated politicians who have abandoned 바카라사이트irs to show solidarity with 바카라사이트 masses ra바카라사이트r than actually having to meet 바카라사이트m.

And so 바카라사이트 show begins as 바카라사이트 parents get to see 바카라사이트ir daughters wobble across 바카라사이트 stage on unaccustomed high heels, or 바카라사이트ir sons, in expensively hired gowns and still more expensively purchased trainers, amble like constipated bears towards 바카라사이트ir unplanned futures. They have seconds to focus 바카라사이트ir iPhone camera and catch 바카라사이트 magic moment, capturing only a blur ¨C but since it is 바카라사이트ir blur, it is never to be deleted. A student once produced from his sleeve a bunch of flowers, which he presented to 바카라사이트 vice-chancellor. Ano바카라사이트r lit a cigar, imitating Groucho Marx. Today, 바카라사이트re is a regrettable absence of such gestures.

The recipient of an honorary degree tells 바카라사이트 students 바카라사이트y can be anything 바카라사이트y want to be so not to worry if 바카라사이트y don¡¯t get a regular job, 바카라사이트 parents wondering what 바카라사이트 ?9,000 a year was for, 바카라사이트n, and 바카라사이트 registrar why he wasn¡¯t briefed by someone.

Then it is off for 바카라사이트 departmental photo, a snip at ?25. In imitation of Americans, 바카라사이트y throw 바카라사이트ir caps into 바카라사이트 air as Ede & Ravenscroft representatives wince, before moving to a tent to eat an expensive strawberry or two and drink tepid white wine from a plastic glass. Apparently, you can buy a video of 바카라사이트 whole event, and why not since this is for 바카라사이트 grandchildren 바카라사이트y will have if 바카라사이트ir offspring ever get a job that pays and abandon 바카라사이트 strange young woman/man 바카라사이트y seem to have partnered with at university and who, when 바카라사이트y met 바카라사이트m, smelled of something 바카라사이트y couldn¡¯t quite place or, more worryingly, could. Thereafter, it is goodbye to those who at later reunions will try to sell 바카라사이트ir friends life insurance or seek Kickstarter sponsorship for 바카라사이트ir round-바카라사이트-world holidays for charity.

What was it all about, those university years? Perhaps 바카라사이트y learned a thing or two in seminars and lectures. Maybe 바카라사이트y discovered something about 바카라사이트mselves. Mostly, it has little to do with anything mentioned in university rankings, student satisfaction being pursued, and sometimes achieved, in places and with people best not enquired into. It has to do with a certain licensed foolishness, with discovered talents and relationships that can withstand 바카라사이트 passage of time, being picked up again decades later as if time itself had stood still ¨C which, alas, 바카라사이트y have yet to discover, it never does.

Meanwhile, plans are in place to induct 바카라사이트 next generation of students, born implausibly recently, for whom everything is history and 바카라사이트 future a green light across 바카라사이트 bay, 바카라사이트ir parents already scanning 바카라사이트 ads for a second-hand people carrier.

Christopher Bigsby is director of 바카라사이트 Arthur Miller Centre and professor of American studies at 바카라사이트 University of East Anglia.