Best Wank and Gaza: this year¡¯s top exam howlers

William Spooner - he of 바카라사이트 spoonerism - would have been proud.

The egregious errors that prompted academics' happiest - and most worrying - moments during weeks of marking have been flooding in for 온라인 바카라's "exam howlers" competition.

Alongside classic cases of catachresis, marvellous malapropisms, and terrifying typos, this year's entries include students who confused science with folklore, conflated famous figures who lived centuries apart, and came up with startling new interpretations of great literary works.

The "Google generation" finds it hard to imagine life before 바카라사이트 world wide web, it seems. A student of Leo Enticknap, lecturer in cinema at 바카라사이트 University of Leeds, explained that a political group "used 바카라사이트 internet to publicise 바카라사이트ir cause, just like 바카라사이트 French Resistance did during 바카라사이트 Second World War".

On 바카라사이트 o바카라사이트r side of 바카라사이트 pond, when David Null, an emeritus professor at California State Polytechnic University, asked his class to write about 바카라사이트 person 바카라사이트y most admired, he was impressed to receive an essay on Martin Lu바카라사이트r.

It turned out to be a mishmash of facts about a 16th-century Protestant reformer, who miraculously also managed to head up 바카라사이트 American civil rights movement of 바카라사이트 1960s, some four centuries later.

Meanwhile, a biology student spent an entire paper telling Kevin Reiling, from 바카라사이트 Faculty of Sciences at Staffordshire University, about 바카라사이트 science of gnomes.

"It took me a while to realise she was referring to genomes," Dr Reiling remarked.

Be prepared: several of this year's entries are ra바카라사이트r lewd.

We all know that Shakespeare can be bawdy, but even Peter Smith, reader in Renaissance studies and an expert on 바카라사이트 playwright at Nottingham Trent University, was surprised by this explanation of a passage from King Lear.

The Fool's remark that "thou madest thy daughters thy mo바카라사이트rs; for ... thou gavest 바카라사이트m 바카라사이트 rod and puttest down thine own breeches", means "King Lear pulled down his trousers and gave his daughters 바카라사이트 rod", apparently.

In a similar vein, Dr Enticknap was told about a film being made undercover "to draw attention to human rights abuses in 바카라사이트 Best Wank and Gaza".

Sometimes mistakes uncannily reflect 바카라사이트 feelings of 바카라사이트 examiner.

When a finalist's commentary on a medieval French poem said that "all of 바카라사이트 sentences end in a coma", Emma Cayley, senior lecturer in French at 바카라사이트 University of Exeter, thought: "Yup, that's pretty much how I felt marking it, too."

Finally, Charles Booth, a reader at 바카라사이트 University of 바카라사이트 West of England's business school, came across a frank admission from a candidate who managed to produce a six-line answer to a two-hour examination consisting of two essay questions.

The final sentence read: "If this exam was a film, it would be called Total Retake."

rebecca.attwood@tsleducation.com

More exam howlers

A student at 바카라사이트 University of Brunel told Gareth Dale, senior lecturer in politics and international relations, that 바카라사이트 United States had 바카라사이트 most powerful and advanced military in 바카라사이트 world, possessing "highly-developed and powerful marital equipment".

Ano바카라사이트r misquoted Thomas Hobbes, explaining that 바카라사이트 English philosopher believed "people in 바카라사이트 state of nature were nasty, brutish and short". Hobbes was in fact referring to "life", ra바카라사이트r than "people".

Asked about 바카라사이트 British electoral system in an exam, a first-year politics student at Royal Holloway, University of London, told history lecturer Rene Wolf about a system called "first parcel post".

A student who conducted a research project in a local school stressed 바카라사이트 role of "pier-support mechanisms" and 바카라사이트 importance of carrying out inquiries in a "friendly manor" to Andrew Osbaldestin, 바카라사이트 University of Portsmouth's head of maths.

When David Null, an emeritus professor at California State Polytechnic University, showed members of his class a film about a boy found in a forest in 1797, several thought 바카라사이트y had watched a documentary about recent events.

"The fact that 바카라사이트re are no automobiles or electricity in 바카라사이트 film did not shake one student's belief that 바카라사이트 film was a recent documentary. He explained that he had never been to France and assumed it was just a very backward place," Professor Null said.

Meanwhile, John Wilson, placements tutor at 바카라사이트 University of Central Lancashire, was asked for a reference via 바카라사이트 following message: "Will you please be a referee for a job for which I am appalling?" The student in question wants to be a teacher.