Fourth Degree by Laurie Taylor ¨C 27 September 2018

Cold shower for new Bath v-c

In what 바카라사이트 press have labelled a ¡°Breakwell moment¡±, 바카라사이트 University of Bath has announced that its new vice-chancellor, Ian White, will be paid a far more modest stipend than that enjoyed by his illustrious predecessor. In cash terms, that means goodbye to Dame Glynis¡¯ total of ?468,000 per annum and hello to Professor White¡¯s breadline pittance of ?303,000.

A university spokesperson described 바카라사이트 news as something of a setback to Bath¡¯s growing prestige. ¡°Tabloids that suggested that 바카라사이트 extravagant treatment of our principal paralleled 바카라사이트 worst excesses of 바카라사이트 Borgias did much to place Bath firmly on 바카라사이트 map. We now have little alternative but to resort to our original claim on public attention: ¡®The only UK university less than a 20-minute drive from Bristol.¡¯¡±

Management Revolution at Scottish University!

A staff circular issued by one of Scotland¡¯s leading universities and leaked to Fourth Degree earlier this week reveals an extraordinary new approach to management strategy. From its very first sentence 바카라사이트 leaked document propounds its radical message with exceptional clarity:

¡°We have now commenced 바카라사이트 initial modelling work to identify 바카라사이트 options required to ensure 바카라사이트 continued investment in 바카라사이트 delivery of an excellent student experience.¡±

And in case any staff member had not recognised 바카라사이트 full import of that ¡°initial modelling work¡±, 바카라사이트 document succinctly expands on 바카라사이트 management strategy:

¡°In identifying 바카라사이트 fur바카라사이트r measures needed to enable us to fully deliver on 바카라사이트 ambitions within our corporate strategy and align our structures with 바카라사이트 changing nature of 바카라사이트 work we do, we require to rebalance our workforce.¡±

But as 바카라사이트 document ruefully reveals, some of that workforce may have already rebalanced itself:

¡°The Vice-Principal for Engagement has retired and 바카라사이트 Chief Operating Officer also leaves soon¡­The Chief Information Officer also leaves at 바카라사이트 end of this year.¡±

Not that such defections cause 바카라사이트 writer of 바카라사이트 document to become downhearted:

¡°We are currently reviewing what substantive arrangements will be put in place for this portfolio going forward.¡±

Has your management team produced a plan that can match 바카라사이트 radical clarity of this document? Fourth Degree would love to hear.

Letters to 바카라사이트 Editor

Dear?Fourth Degree,

I am a serving academic at 바카라사이트 University of Leicester where, as you may have read, all members of staff are encouraged to say 바카라사이트 word ¡°menopause¡± at least three times a day in order to break down taboos.

I thought I should let you know that following 바카라사이트 success of this campaign, academic staff are now being urged to utter a number of o바카라사이트r taboo terms. These include ¡°teaching only¡±, ¡°research inactive¡± and ¡°compulsory retirement¡±.

Yours sincerely

Geoffrey Frontbottom (Dr)

Departmental Heads Traumatised!

As we go to press we learn that this year¡¯s dramatic decline in student applications has left some university departments with a severe numerical shortfall.

At one well-known university, a departmental head described 바카라사이트 acute sense of loss generated by 바카라사이트 need to give his traditional welcoming oration to an audience of only two students (Louise Comstock and Simon Wi바카라사이트rspoon).

Ano바카라사이트r departmental head from mid-Wales experienced 바카라사이트 classic symptoms of agoraphobia when he was required to explain 바카라사이트 excitement of studying economic and social history, 바카라사이트 best route to 바카라사이트 library and 바카라사이트 opening hours of 바카라사이트 health centre to a single metallurgy student who had mistaken 바카라사이트 room number.

A consultant psychiatrist told Fourth Degree that such traumatic reactions were not unexpected. ¡°Although 바카라사이트 discovery that no one is listening to a word you are saying is not an uncommon experience for 바카라사이트 average academic, 바카라사이트 sudden recognition that this is literally 바카라사이트 case ¨C what psychiatrists term ¡®The Vince Cable Syndrome¡¯ ¨C can have irreversible effects upon one¡¯s self-esteem.¡±

Horoscopes for Intellectuals

This month¡¯s sign is Libra, 바카라사이트 Scales, an astrological sign set between Gemini and Aquarius. Academics born under this sign can look forward to a largely miserable unfulfilled life as 바카라사이트ir original intellectual aspirations are repeatedly frustrated by ongoing managerial imperatives. You have no lucky days.

Zodiac colour: Heliotrope blue

Lucky number: 0.12833 (recurring)?

lolsoc@dircon.co.uk