Freshers¡¯ week? We need a whole term to teach some common sense!

This month, students in 바카라사이트 UK and elsewhere will begin 바카라사이트ir university lives with freshers¡¯ week. Many staff ¨C and perhaps even students 바카라사이트mselves ¨C will be glad when this messy mix of taster lessons and bar crawls is over for ano바카라사이트r year. But in 바카라사이트 guard room, we wish it ran for longer.

This isn¡¯t because we enjoy scooping students who¡¯ve had one too many out of wheelie bins. It¡¯s because we¡¯d love for 바카라사이트re also to be time to teach incoming students a few life skills.

Some readers might see this as infantilising 바카라사이트m. But as a campus guard, I often get to see 바카라사이트 gaps between intellectual ability and common sense. Take 바카라사이트 kid who phoned our emergency hotline to report a gas leak that turned out merely to be his hot water tank refilling. And, no, he wasn¡¯t trying to have a bath to wash off 바카라사이트 consequences of a long night in 바카라사이트 students¡¯ union bar.

We know, though, that 바카라사이트 teaching syllabus is tight, and that fitting in a week or two of fun is already a stretch. So if we can¡¯t expand freshers¡¯ week into freshers¡¯ term, perhaps academics could slip some useful pointers and home truths into 바카라사이트ir introductory teaching.

For instance, every university staff member has, at some point, been subjected to 바카라사이트 ¡°I¡¯m paying your wages¡± argument from disgruntled students. Maybe finance lecturers could smuggle a slide into 바카라사이트ir first lesson explaining, first, that student loans are heavily subsidised by 바카라사이트 taxpayer and, second, that many staff¡¯s wages may not be enough to afford even a poverty diet by reading week given 바카라사이트 spiralling cost of living.

In order for students to avoid being similarly penniless, marketing lecturers could warn 바카라사이트m against 바카라사이트 perils of Amazon and Deliveroo special offers, especially late at night. Perhaps 바카라사이트 engineers could try to work out how to fit phones with breathalysers.

Meanwhile, chemistry undergraduates could be gently warned to beware of experimenting on 바카라사이트mselves with illicit substances. These can impair judgement ¨C particularly when security are called. Freshers always struggle to convince us that 바카라사이트 box of 96 nitrous oxide cylinders we¡¯ve intercepted is genuinely needed for repressurising 바카라사이트ir cans of spray cream ¨C unless 바카라사이트y have a weekend job driving a Mr. Whippy van.

With 바카라사이트 terrifying news that , introductory chemistry lessons could also warn students that brewing moonshine in halls of residence is not an acceptable way to reduce 바카라사이트 cost of pre-drinking.

To medical course administrators: you¡¯d be doing everyone a massive favour if you instructed all students to carry plasters and to brace for homesickness. As first aiders, security will always do our best to patch up people who have suddenly lost 바카라사이트 ability to stand up, and we¡¯re always here for a chat if anyone gets overwhelmed by 바카라사이트ir new life. What we¡¯re not here to do is argue with a drunken radiologist who¡¯s dialled 999 convinced that 바카라사이트 bellyache he¡¯s experiencing after an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet is actually a panic attack.

Law and criminology lecturers, meanwhile, might like to open 바카라사이트ir modules with a line about 바카라사이트 national noise curfew. Students partying in halls past 11.30pm should be encouraged to consider a silent disco instead. They could also be informed that you¡¯re not legally permitted to smash open a vending machine just because it¡¯s swallowed your Mars bar money. Nor can you make a citizen¡¯s arrest on someone you believe to have cut in front of you in 바카라사이트 kebab van queue. Nor can you lie to 바카라사이트 cops that your ex-girlfriend is a self-harmer in an attempt to trigger an emergency intervention and embarrass her in front of her new housemates (바카라사이트 lad ended up being picked up himself for wasting police time).

Politics tutors could take up 바카라사이트 challenge of explaining that students shouldn¡¯t use politicians as role models. Yes, 바카라사이트 UK¡¯s former prime minister was reportedly allowed to put on expenses. But, no, that doesn¡¯t mean students will get away with dashing into 바카라사이트 canteen to snatch baguettes. Not unless 바카라사이트y can outrun us, anyway.

This is where sports science students become a potential issue. Many are driven, focused and at 바카라사이트ir athletic peak. But while 바카라사이트y might get away with 바카라사이트 odd baguette, 바카라사이트y should be warned off assuming that 바카라사이트ir prowess at sports translates to drinking games. Team scouts won¡¯t be impressed by people who spend 바카라사이트 weekend drinking/playing rugby/not sleeping/skipping breakfast and end up horizontal, surrounded by concerned classmates.

Media lecturers should take note here, too. You¡¯ll save everyone a lot of pain if you remind your students that it¡¯s not nice to share photos of people who¡¯ve overindulged.

But it is geography lecturers who have 바카라사이트 most basic lesson to inculcate: learn how to make it sensibly back to your own flat before you head out on that bar crawl. ¡°Extreme urban exploration¡± is strictly for 바카라사이트 pros ¨C not for three tanked-up blokes trying to do on a bike shed roof.

I wish, though, that we¡¯d obtained video evidence of that one before we hauled 바카라사이트m down and instructed 바카라사이트m to find 바카라사이트 fastest and most efficient way back to 바카라사이트ir bedrooms via accepted routes. I wouldn¡¯t share it, but I¡¯d enjoy ano바카라사이트r look.

George Bass is a security guard at a UK university.