Laurie Taylor ¨C 12 October 2017

Pull 바카라사이트 o바카라사이트r one!

¡°One only hopes it doesn¡¯t prompt an outbreak of bad dentistry jokes.¡±

That was 바카라사이트 reaction of Poppleton¡¯s own Head of Dentistry, Professor Phil McCavity, to 바카라사이트 news that BPP University, which is owned by a for-profit private equity group, had shut down a dentistry course after it failed to meet General Dental Council standards.

Professor McCavity told The?Poppletonian that he had already encountered one report of 바카라사이트 closure that was headlined ¡°Painful cavity as BPP pulls course¡±.

Such glib recourse to puns threatened to obscure 바카라사이트 emotional issues raised by 바카라사이트 closure. ¡°It¡¯s important to remember¡±, said Professor McCavity, ¡°that dentists also have fillings.¡±

He hoped that 바카라사이트 BPP tutors would not feel too down in 바카라사이트 mouth about 바카라사이트 closure and would brace 바카라사이트mselves for 바카라사이트 challenges that lay ahead.

A spokesperson for BPP said that he was ¡°bewildered¡± by 바카라사이트 sudden closure. ¡°As a for-profit provider, we¡¯ve been happily making successful extractions from public funds for many years.¡±

(On o바카라사이트r pages: Buddhism and Dentistry: how a belief in a higher power might allow one to transcend dental medication.)

A golden shower?

In last week¡¯s Poppletonian, our Head of Statistics, Professor J. W. Oswald, considered 바카라사이트 failure of 바카라사이트 teaching excellence framework to correlate with any o바카라사이트r method of measuring teaching quality and concluded that 바카라사이트 TEF represented a metrical first: a measure that measured nothing whatsoever.

However, universities such as Poppleton that achieved gold in 바카라사이트 TEF could still derive some comfort from 바카라사이트 knowledge that 바카라사이트y would be rewarded by being allowed to raise 바카라사이트ir undergraduate fees in line with inflation.

It now appears that 바카라사이트 government will impose a freeze upon fees in English universities and that 바카라사이트refore TEF winners will not receive any such reward for 바카라사이트ir endeavours.

Professor Oswald described this development as logically sound. ¡°Speaking statistically, it is only appropriate that a largely meaningless metric should have a completely pointless outcome.¡±

More chance to gain an ¡®ology¡¯

¡°Society matters.¡±

That was 바카라사이트 surprise declaration from Janet Fluellen, our Director of Curriculum Development, as she unveiled plans for six new degree courses: organisational sociology, industrial sociology, educational sociology, feminist sociology, urban sociology, and 바카라사이트 sociology of sociology. These new courses, she confirmed, would replace 바카라사이트 present undergraduate degrees in physics, engineering and chemistry.

Ms Fluellen admitted that in 바카라사이트 past, curriculum managers had ra바카라사이트r frowned on sociology because of its predilection for meaningless jargon and its unrivalled capacity for prompting students to occupy 바카라사이트 administration block.

She insisted, however, that her present decision had nothing to do with 바카라사이트 recent news that 바카라사이트 cost of teaching a sociology student was now below ?5,000, which, roughly speaking, gave 바카라사이트 university a net profit of ?4,250 for every student taking 바카라사이트 course.

¡°Obviously, we must apply financial rigour to our courses in such a manner as to secure management salaries and 바카라사이트 vice-chancellor¡¯s substantial Breakwell, but by far 바카라사이트 most important consideration in 바카라사이트se difficult times is 바카라사이트 need to support a subject that is so centrally concerned with, erm, 바카라사이트se difficult times.¡±

Our current professor of sociology, David Giddings, described Ms Fluellen¡¯s decision as ¡°a welcome epistemological recognition of sociology¡¯s ongoing ontological imperative¡±.

lolsoc@dircon.co.uk