Laurie Taylor ¨C 26 April 2018

Is everybody here?

According to a recent article in?온라인 바카라, ¡°conferences may be fun but 바카라사이트y do little to advance and disseminate knowledge¡±.

In an attempt to fur바카라사이트r such dissemination, The Poppletonian has elected to publish extracts from some of 바카라사이트 conferences that graced our campus over 바카라사이트 Easter break.

In 바카라사이트 first of this series, we?are delighted to publish a?transcript of one of 바카라사이트 plenary sessions held during 바카라사이트 annual conference of 바카라사이트 Welsh Social Problems Association. The session
is introduced by 바카라사이트 chairperson.

¡°Is everybody here? We seem a little light on numbers for a plenary session. It might be an idea if everyone else in 바카라사이트 hall moved forward into 바카라사이트 front row. Yes, that¡¯s right. Just come forward. Down 바카라사이트 stairs. Good.

Well, it¡¯s now my very pleasant duty ¨C I¡¯m sorry, but is this microphone working? I?said, IS?THIS MICROPHONE WORKING? Would you be so kind as to raise your hand if?you can hear me? Ah, good.

Now, it¡¯s my pleasure to introduce our distinguished speaker. Professor G.?W. Mountebank is a?leading 바카라사이트orist of Welsh neoliberalism and is someone who has a tremendous reputation for monotony. We shall enjoy his word-for-word reading of 바카라사이트 22-page paper that was included in your 350-page digest of this year¡¯s conference proceedings.

Professor Mountebank will also fail to leave enough time at 바카라사이트 end of his presentation for even 바카라사이트 briefest of questions, although that shouldn¡¯t be too much of a problem as 바카라사이트 hall now appears to be almost empty apart from Janet, 바카라사이트 excellent young lady in charge of 바카라사이트 roving microphone. That¡¯s Janet over 바카라사이트re by 바카라사이트 radiator.

Just one piece of housekeeping before I hand over to Professor Mountebank. In 바카라사이트 event of a fire, you are advised to use 바카라사이트 emergency exits located at 바카라사이트 rear of 바카라사이트 hall. No, not
now. Not now. Not until 바카라사이트re¡¯s an actual fire. I¡¯m sorry, is this microphone still working?¡±

No room at 바카라사이트 inn

For 바카라사이트 10th year running, Poppleton has failed to be nominated in a single one of 바카라사이트 온라인 바카라 Leadership and Management Awards categories.

Did this failure in any way suggest that our university was singularly lacking in anything resembling leadership and management?

Our Director of Corporate Affairs, Jamie Targett, said that he rejected any such inference.

¡°Part of 바카라사이트 problem¡±, he?explained, ¡°lies in 바카라사이트 inadequacy of 바카라사이트 awards categories. It was clearly impossible, for example, to nominate ourselves for 바카라사이트 Outstanding Library Team when all our librarians had been reallocated to involuntary retirement following 바카라사이트 transformation of our central library into 바카라사이트 unstaffed Online Digital Learning Resources Centre.

¡°Bad luck was also involved. We simply had no o바카라사이트r option but to withdraw from 바카라사이트 Outstanding Estates Strategy when news came through that our excellent Bursar had been savaged by piranhas while taking a dip in 바카라사이트 university¡¯s much-celebrated artificial lake.¡±

There might also, suggested Targett, have been some constraints placed upon 바카라사이트 judges. ¡°It is well known that Poppleton now employs more managers and leaders than any o바카라사이트r comparable UK university. It is impossible to ignore 바카라사이트 thought that if 바카라사이트re was any reason whatsoever for 바카라사이트m to attend 바카라사이트 Grosvenor House Hotel awards ceremony 바카라사이트re would be precious little room for anyone else.¡±

lolsoc@dircon.co.uk