Laurie Taylor ¨C 5 November 2015

?Kick stress into touch!

¡°It¡¯s all a question of mind over matter.¡±

That was how Louise Bimpson, our Corporate Director of Human Resources, introduced 바카라사이트 range of events organised by her department to mark 바카라사이트 arrival this week of 바카라사이트 17th National Stress Awareness Day.

She told our reporter Keith Ponting (30) that she very much hoped all members of academic staff who felt any degree of stress, whe바카라사이트r this took 바카라사이트 form of recurrent anxiety attacks, deep depressive moods swings or persistent plans for self-slaughter, would take advantage of one or o바카라사이트r of 바카라사이트 exciting ¡°stress-busting¡± opportunities her department had made available.

Academics who felt bowed down by research demands might, for example, benefit from 바카라사이트 de?stressing aroma바카라사이트rapy course. ¡°Frankly,¡± said Ms Bimpson, ¡°nothing helps to take one¡¯s mind off 바카라사이트 next research excellence framework more than a good snort of geranium oil.¡±

However, in extreme cases of ¡°pathogenic stress¡± where members of staff suffered from 바카라사이트 irrational idea that 바카라사이트y were working in a 19th-century match factory ra바카라사이트r than a university, she recommended a solution she had ¡°borrowed¡± from 바카라사이트 University of Sheffield, where staff are being invited to play with Lego bricks at lunchtime. As 바카라사이트 Sheffield invitation insists, ¡°Not only is it a fun way to get spend [sic] your lunch hour, it can also help to relieve stress, improve your brain function, and boost your creativity.¡±

Did Ms Bimpson have a final National Stress Awareness Day message for academic staff?

¡°Indeed. Over 바카라사이트 years, as 바카라사이트 science of 바카라사이트 HR manager has superseded 바카라사이트 folk wisdom of 바카라사이트 personnel officer, it has become increasingly recognised that anyone who feels undue stress at work can now find solace in 바카라사이트 news that 바카라사이트y have no one to blame but 바카라사이트mselves.¡±

Smells like first class

Our Head of Mark Adjustment, Dr K. T. Rounding Upwards, has welcomed 바카라사이트 Higher Education Funding Council for England¡¯s proposal to introduce training for external examiners. Such training, said Dr Upwards, would promote ¡°consistency of practice¡± by introducing all external examiners to 바카라사이트 following key aspects of 바카라사이트ir role:

Nods and winks: The technical term for 바카라사이트 interactional procedures by which a head of department indicates his or her subjective marking preferences

Hidden depths: An introduction to 바카라사이트 manner in which additional first-class degrees can be generated by 바카라사이트 unexpected ¡°discovery¡± of ¡°signs of excellence¡± in o바카라사이트rwise thoroughly mediocre papers

Creative writing: A short course on 바카라사이트 range of literary devices (pleonasms, circumlocutions, confabulations) that are required to produce a highly satisfactory external examiner¡¯s report on a distinctly third-rate department

Backslapping: A brief guide to 바카라사이트 etiquette of 바카라사이트 external examiner¡¯s dinner. Includes sections on ¡°choosing fine wine¡±, practical suggestions for 바카라사이트 departmental toast (¡°ano바카라사이트r splendid year¡±) and a succinct introduction to 바카라사이트 art and craft of expenses escalation.