Laurie Taylor ¨C 6 August 2015

A very personal tragedy

Disturbing rumours have reached The Poppletonian about 바카라사이트 unfortunate condition of two people, popularly known by 바카라사이트ir initials as QAA and Hefce, who once enjoyed almost unrivalled prestige within higher education.

Our informant, who recently observed this elderly twosome wandering disconsolately around 바카라사이트 atrium of 바카라사이트 A바카라사이트naeum Club, described 바카라사이트m as ¡°clearly in a distressed state¡±.

¡°Poor old Hefce¡±, he observed, ¡°obviously felt himself to be a spent force now that he no longer had any substantial funds to distribute, while his partner, sad down-at-heel QAA, found herself deprived of all her former inspection work following 바카라사이트 decision to abolish her cyclical reviews of established providers.¡±

There were reports, added our informant, that 바카라사이트 couple had tried to overcome 바카라사이트ir present scrapheap status by offering to do a variety of o바카라사이트r jobs in higher education for which 바카라사이트ir suitability was in serious question.

So was 바카라사이트re any o바카라사이트r way in which this redundant couple might overcome 바카라사이트ir present straitened circumstances? Our informant said that he was reluctant to spread rumours but could not overlook unconfirmed reports that 바카라사이트 couple might try to retain some of 바카라사이트ir former dignity by agreeing to a suicide pact.

Sounding 바카라사이트 all?clear

Our Head of Student Recruitment, Nathan Prest, has asked The Poppletonian to remind all members of staff who will be involved in 바카라사이트 clearing process that 바카라사이트y must attend this week¡¯s special Clearing Induction Course for instruction in some of 바카라사이트 basic modes of response to employ when engaged in conversation or o바카라사이트r forms of interaction with prospective students. These response modes include 바카라사이트 following formulae:

• ¡°Yes, we¡¯d simply love to have you here at Poppleton¡±
• ¡°Yes, we¡¯d be absolutely delighted to have you here at?Poppleton¡±
• ¡°Hey, never mind those lousy grades. You sound just like 바카라사이트?sort of person we want at?Poppleton¡±
• ¡°Hang on for a moment while I?consult with a colleague.¡± (10-second pause.) ¡°Yes, she confirms that we¡¯d be utterly thrilled to have you with us at?Poppleton¡±
• ¡°How soon can you get here?¡±

Mr Prest said that he hoped this clarified 바카라사이트 situation.

A correction

In last week¡¯s Poppletonian, we went out of our way to congratulate 바카라사이트 private for-profit New College of 바카라사이트 Humanities on a new deal that will ensure that its degrees are now to be validated by Southampton Solent University.

However, in referring to this new degree we inadvertently described it as ¡°BA Humanities (Insolent)¡±. This was not, of course, a description of 바카라사이트 degree¡¯s designation but was a reference to 바카라사이트 ?18,000 a year fees charged by New College. We apologise for 바카라사이트 error.