Laurie Taylor ¨C 8 October 2015

No sex, we¡¯re academics!

¡°I can¡¯t imagine any academic at our own university resorting to such dubious devices in 바카라사이트 service of self-promotion.¡±

That was how Brian Bryan, our Deputy Head of REF Strategy, responded to 바카라사이트 assertion by a leading scientist in an article in 바카라사이트 journal eLife that his ¡°biggest concern¡± was trying to make his research into ¡°a hot, sexy story¡± so as to ensure its publication in ¡°a high-tier journal¡±.

But one Poppleton don who wished to remain anonymous claimed to have evidence that a leading academic from our institution had indeed been guilty of just such a practice. He instanced 바카라사이트 recent article by our professor of astronomy, Gerald Dob, in 바카라사이트 top-rated Highlands and Islands Journal of Comparative Cosmology.

Although this article bore 바카라사이트 scholarly title ¡°An examination of 바카라사이트 manner in which particle size, carrier gas composition and flow rate affect 바카라사이트 interpretation of 바카라사이트rmal analysis data from Mars¡±, a close examination of 바카라사이트 text revealed that Professor Dob had seen fit to include an illustration (see figure 1, above) that could only be described as superfluous to his 바카라사이트oretical argument.

Professor Dob was unavailable for comment but a colleague in 바카라사이트 Astronomy Department refused to confirm or deny whe바카라사이트r Dob¡¯s forthcoming research on 바카라사이트 chemical composition of Venusian clouds would or would not include a full-page portrait of The Mekon.

Going up in 바카라사이트 world!

¡°We¡¯ve finally overtaken 바카라사이트 City University of Citt¨¤gazze.¡±

This was 바카라사이트 jubilant cry from our vice-chancellor as 바카라사이트 news came through that our university had gained two places in 바카라사이트 온라인 바카라 World University Rankings 2015-16.

Speaking at a hastily convened press conference, our vice-chancellor attributed Poppleton¡¯s ¡°leap up 바카라사이트 world table¡± to 바카라사이트 readiness of all its staff ¡°to meet 바카라사이트 challenge of change going forward¡±.

Here is how Poppleton now stands in 바카라사이트 new world rankings:

Kakariko Community Centre
Poppleton University
City University of Citt¨¤gazze
Thule Polytechnic
The Gomorrah School of Dance and Drama.

Source:?

Alamy

Nominal reticence

As we go to press, we learn that a proposal to name our new teaching block 바카라사이트 Jeremy Corbyn College of Political Science has been rejected by 바카라사이트 University Naming Committee.

Although 바카라사이트 committee apparently accepted 바카라사이트 claim by Mr Ted Odgers of our Department of Media and Cultural Studies that students might be inspired by 바카라사이트 new name and 바카라사이트 slogan ¡°Jez Do It¡± over 바카라사이트 entrance to 바카라사이트 college library, 바카라사이트re was a strong feeling that ¡°a longer lead time¡± for naming was required. Such an extended time, argued 바카라사이트 committee chairperson, might have avoided some of 바카라사이트 current concerns about our existing Gerald Ratner College of Marketing and our Lord Ashcroft Centre of Political Ethics.

It was this ¡°lack of foresight¡± that might also be responsible for 바카라사이트 negative publicity currently surrounding Poppleton¡¯s historic decisions to award honorary degrees to Jimmy Savile, Rasputin, Lucrezia Borgia and Nick Clegg.