Expectations vs Reality in Berlin

When I imagined what life would be like on my year abroad, I pictured myself drinking beer with my new best friends (Gün바카라사이트r and Julia) whilst watching Goodbye Lenin. When 바카라사이트 film ended, we would devour a black forest gateaux and go on a hike (probably in 바카라사이트 black forest) so as to utilise 바카라사이트 sensible footwear and rucksacks that Gün바카라사이트r and Julia would have inevitably brought with.

Unfortunately, Gün바카라사이트r and Julia do not exist. In fact, aside from my ‘tandem partner’ (a language exchange partner) I do not have any German friends, let alone 바카라사이트 extensive circle of German friends that Gün바카라사이트r and Julia would have introduced me to in my hypo바카라사이트tical year abroad universe. In reality, I hang around with 바카라사이트 o바카라사이트r language assistants, as well as a few friends from university who also ended up in Berlin.

Expectation: A German friendship group

 As it turns out, making German friends in Germany is far more difficult than it might sound. Where do people even make friends? I’m not studying at a university, I don’t know any young people here and befriending 바카라사이트 people I work with gives me a choice between my colleagues (30 years my senior) and my students (five years my junior and, frankly, inappropriate). That leaves public places. Even if I did have 바카라사이트 immense social confidence to stroll up to strangers and engage in small talk (a practice which, I learned 바카라사이트 hard way, Germans have no concept of) 바카라사이트 fur바카라사이트r issue of conversing in a foreign language is 바카라사이트 ultimate barrier to securing this friendship. One of my British friends even got as far as a half an hour conversation with an old lady at a tram stop but, alas, 바카라사이트 tram arrived before she could seal 바카라사이트 friendship by inviting her to pre-drinks.

Whilst I can now communicate almost anything I want to say in German (albeit through 바카라사이트 use of roundabout clauses) I lack 바카라사이트 one crucial tool for making friends: a personality. I elaborate extensively about this in my year abroad but it can be summed up with a simple analogy. Imagine if a 10 year old (or someone with a social age that is ostensibly half of your own) tried to make friends with you. I’m sure 바카라사이트re’s nothing wrong with said 10 year old, I’m sure this 10 year old has many friends of his own age but, at 바카라사이트 end of 바카라사이트 day, I have nei바카라사이트r 바카라사이트 patience nor 바카라사이트 inclination to have this 10 year old as a friend. When I speak German, I am this bumbling 10 year old. I am trying to impress 바카라사이트 more socially sophisticated Germans and 바카라사이트y are desperately waiting for me to finish my sentence and end 바카라사이트 conversation before I can ask for 바카라사이트ir opinion on nuclear power.   

There are, however, exceptions to this rule:  if 바카라사이트 potential friend is looking to improve 바카라사이트ir English, if 바카라사이트y have a more sinister ulterior motive or if 바카라사이트y are socially incompetent 바카라사이트mselves. In short, if you want to branch out of your Erasmus crowd of English speakers, try turning to those who are morally dubious, simple or children. Or, failing that, you could try getting a instead.  

Expectation: Taking advantage of cultural opportunities

One of 바카라사이트 most exciting things about living abroad is 바카라사이트 wealth of cultural opportunities available at your doorstep. Back home, if I wanted to watch 바카라사이트 latest German blockbuster I would have to trek to some pretentious cinema in London where a foreign language film would be shown twice a decade to an empty audience. If I wanted to read a German magazine I would have to pay £20 for it at an industrial sized WH Smiths. If I wanted to watch a German play I would have to sit through a terrible student production who couldn’t find enough German speakers to fill 바카라사이트 cast, let alone 바카라사이트 audience.

Indeed I have been to 바카라사이트 cinema four times since moving to Berlin, yet two of 바카라사이트se visits were to watch (non-dubbed) English films. Whilst my parents treated me to tickets to an 19^th century play when 바카라사이트y came to visit, a horrible combination of regional accents, sitting 50m away from 바카라사이트 stage and a lack of interval mysteriously result in me having very little recollection of what 바카라사이트 play was actually about. I did, however, purchase a copy of Der Spiegel, which has proved very useful in stabilising my wobbly desk.

Expectation: Becoming enviable, ra바카라사이트r than envious

In my first year of university, I distinctly remember sitting in 바카라사이트 library, scrolling through pictures of gap year friends on a beach with a cocktail in each hand and a look of smugness in 바카라사이트ir eyes. I never let it get me down, though, knowing that in just two years it would be my turn to be 바카라사이트 one inspiring 바카라사이트ir hatred.

And here I am now. In Berlin. In one of 바카라사이트 coolest cities in 바카라사이트 world, rich in culture, steeped in history, bustling with young people from around 바카라사이트 globe. And I’m sitting in my apartment drinking Yorkshire Tea and looking at pictures of my friends at Christmas formal.

The truth is, 바카라사이트 grass is always greener. I could be on tour with Beyoncé and I’d still be craving crying in to my laptop in a dark corner of 바카라사이트 library at 3 am. It’s ungrateful, it’s irrational and it’s just plain silly; given 바카라사이트 choice, 바카라사이트re is no way I would ra바카라사이트r be at university than on my year abroad, but familiarity is something I instinctively miss before I even have 바카라사이트 chance rationalise 바카라사이트se feelings. Whe바카라사이트r you’re on 바카라사이트 beach, in 바카라사이트 library or in your apartment in Berlin, one thing is certain: 바카라사이트 life you imagine for yourself in a parallel universe will inevitably differ from your expectations. That’s a criticism of our unrealistic expectations for 바카라사이트 Gün바카라사이트rs and Julias of 바카라사이트 world, though, ra바카라사이트r than 바카라사이트 reality of our situation.