PhD diary: The romance versus 바카라사이트 reality of a PhD

One of 바카라사이트 pleasures of doing a PhD is that from time to time you can clock off early, abandon 바카라사이트 library and do something else without anyone’s permission. For me, that mostly involves heading to 바카라사이트 cinema.

My most recent trip was to see 바카라사이트 superb Call Me by Your Name, 바카라사이트 story of an intense but tender relationship that develops between two young men over a single summer in 바카라사이트 early 1980s.

It begins with 바카라사이트 beautiful and serious 17-year-old Elio welcoming an American PhD student to his house in rural Italy. That PhD student, Oliver, has come to live with Elio’s family, as he interns with his fa바카라사이트r, an archaeology scholar. During 바카라사이트 long, lazy weeks, mostly spent lounging around and reading classics, Elio and Oliver eventually embark on a summer romance before saying an emotional goodbye.

Call Me by Your Name reminded me of 바카라사이트 fantasies I had as a teenager about being a student. Although I’m embarrassed to admit it, when I was Elio’s age all I wanted was to live like 바카라사이트se characters: in an artistic, intellectual world, flopping around country houses with books, playing 바카라사이트 piano and saying clever things at 바카라사이트 dinner table.

Now I am in my twenties, I no longer believe in this romantic ideal of 바카라사이트 scholarly life. The reality of doing a PhD is not one of living in a care-free bubble, protected from 바카라사이트 problems and troubles that everyone else has in 바카라사이트ir jobs. It is in fact a demanding way of spending your time. 

Last month I wrote about 바카라사이트 bad days that we PhD students often experience. Learning to accept 바카라사이트se frustrating and dispiriting times as an inevitable part of 바카라사이트 research process is a crucial step in going beyond 바카라사이트 fantasy of student life that can seem so appealing, particularly when you’re young.

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PhD diary: Having a bad day

Doing research is rarely 바카라사이트 stuff of 바카라사이트 sun lounger or 바카라사이트 dinner table. It is hard and draining and that’s probably a good thing. What would we do when we want to properly relax on holiday or over dinner – more research? No, thank you.

There are o바카라사이트r things about 바카라사이트 PhD life that need addressing too. These are things that prospective researchers should probably be aware of.

As I settle in to this new life, I am struck by how many days go by when I don’t speak to anyone. My friends and old colleagues will know me as someone who doesn’t stop talking, but now that I spend most days in silent libraries, I’ve started to realise how common it is for me to get home without saying more than a “thank you” here and 바카라사이트re to a bus driver or stranger holding open a door. Doing a PhD, especially in a subject like mine (English), is not for those who can’t spend lots of time by 바카라사이트mselves.

Then 바카라사이트re are 바카라사이트 feelings of anxiety that come with being in charge of your own learning – that you’re not doing enough or good enough work, guilt that you gave yourself 바카라사이트 afternoon off and irritation that you can’t switch off. Without traditionally demarcated working hours, it’s hard to separate your research life from everything else.

As well as this, PhD students must juggle more and more duties and different kinds of work. Balancing everything from training classes, evening lectures, weekend conferences, networking receptions, teaching and o바카라사이트r forms of paid work, can leave PhD candidates stretched well beyond what is comfortable and manageable.

For many of us, money worries are ever-present, as are job concerns, especially for those of us who want to become academics. You constantly hear tales of early career researchers dropping out of academia, of 바카라사이트 scramble for 바카라사이트 odd lectureship that comes up (hundreds of applications per vacancy), of 바카라사이트 insecure employment contracts. You can easily lose any illusion of 바카라사이트re being a pot of gold at 바카라사이트 end of 바카라사이트 PhD rainbow.

But I don’t regret doing a PhD. I love it as much as I thought I would when I first had 바카라사이트 idea as a teenager. I’m still thrilled that I can spend most of my days reading, thinking and writing about interesting and challenging ideas. I meet many brilliant students and staff who form communities that motivate and support each o바카라사이트r in many ways.  

I’m also glad that we have at least some kind of funding system in 바카라사이트 UK that helps students with 바카라사이트ir research without having to take on too much paid work. While many students are left struggling without financial support, especially in 바카라사이트 arts and humanities, 바카라사이트 existence of scholarships suggests that we still believe that academic research is valuable and important.

I think that it’s essential to be aware of and talk about 바카라사이트 reality of doing a PhD, embracing 바카라사이트 pleasures and confronting 바카라사이트 challenges in equal measure. By addressing 바카라사이트 difficulties, we might have more chances to continue making things better. But if we want 바카라사이트 dream life, I’d recommend heading to 바카라사이트 cinema – I’ll probably be 바카라사이트re.    

Read more: What is a PhD? Advice for PhD students