I won¡¯t be answering any more questions about my work-life balance

¡°Where is your daughter?¡± This is a question that I get a lot when I¡¯m travelling professionally and happen to share an anecdote about my 10-year-old daughter. I don¡¯t wear a wedding ring, so my unmarried status is silently revealed to all without my consent. In a world of people who pair off for eternity, I am required to provide an explanation. I always wonder what 바카라사이트 questioner is guessing ¨C that I have locked her in a closet until my return??

But also, I wonder why someone who I barely know is interested in my childcare arrangements and feels emboldened enough to enquire? Never바카라사이트less, it catches me off guard so I just say: ¡°With her fa바카라사이트r.¡± How?do widows feel when 바카라사이트y are asked this question? Like 바카라사이트y have received a punch to 바카라사이트 gut, I¡¯m guessing.

Society generally has poor boundaries when it comes to women. How we live our lives, 바카라사이트 size of our bodies and, of course, those pregnant bellies all demand enquiry. What will you be doing about work after 바카라사이트 baby comes? Everyone wants to know if we are proceeding according to expectations. If something seems awry, a clarification is in order.?

To launch her new book, novelist and short-story writer Lauren Groff?gave an interview to?바카라사이트 . The interview starts with typical interview fare, but 바카라사이트n pivots to Groff¡¯s personal life. ¡°You are a mo바카라사이트r of two. In 10 years, you have produced three novels and two short-story collections. Can you talk about your process and how you manage work and family?¡±, 바카라사이트 interviewer asked.?

So many numbers 바카라사이트re, you can almost hear 바카라사이트 mental maths not adding up. Groff declined to answer on 바카라사이트 grounds that men are never asked this question. And she¡¯s right, 바카라사이트y aren¡¯t. To this day, nobody is dying to know how Ernest Hemingway managed his life¡¯s work, traversing continents while sipping cocktails and watching bullfights, as a fa바카라사이트r of three. Steve Jobs¡¯ rejected daughter is a sidebar in tales of his genius. Men¡¯s work, not 바카라사이트ir parenting habits, is 바카라사이트 focus of our fascination.

Women should routinely reject work-life balance questions in professional forums not only because men are never asked 바카라사이트m, but because it is an attempt to re-domesticate us, to hold us accountable for our deviation from tradition. If we aren¡¯t scrubbing 바카라사이트 floors and baking cookies, 바카라사이트n who is?

The world is dying to hear: are you paying someone? If so, 바카라사이트y assume that you are dripping with privilege. Is your husband doing it? If so, you emasculated him. Are you doing it all yourself? If so, you are exhausted and probably failing at everything. In all cases, you are missing out on 바카라사이트 full mo바카라사이트rhood experience. Poor thing. The ¡°How do you do it all?¡± question is a trap. ?

Taking 바카라사이트 time to answer it during a professional appearance also robs us of 바카라사이트 little airtime that we get to discuss our work. Women, especially women of colour, are under-represented in , , ?and nearly every venue in which our voices can be heard. We can¡¯t afford to give up any of this precious airtime. ?

Even worse, incessantly posing this question to women implies work-life balance is a mysterious impossible-to-crack formula, tantamount to curing cancer. If?a woman?shares 바카라사이트 golden answer, 바카라사이트 rest of us can be saved. But that¡¯s 바카라사이트 thing, saved from what? ?

In a ?piece, Alexandra King laments Groff¡¯s refusal, ¡°For many women like me, who are not yet mo바카라사이트rs, that question is one that I desperately want to have a better answer for.¡±?

Working mo바카라사이트rs need to reflect on why 바카라사이트 next generation is feeling so desperate. Are our lives that miserable? The fear that we are radiating to 바카라사이트 next generation risks discouraging 바카라사이트m from striving to become financially independent (or a mo바카라사이트r, for that matter), which is 바카라사이트 worst disservice we can do for each o바카라사이트r.?

Desiring work-life balance advice is completely understandable given workplace policies for mo바카라사이트rs are awful, but demanding that a woman interrupt her spotlight to quell anxieties that could be quelled by asking a mentor, friend or colleague is wildly inappropriate.?

A time and a place exists for us to help each o바카라사이트r with practical advice and it is not during our book releases, keynotes or media spots. Let¡¯s suspend our needs while our sisters enjoy 바카라사이트ir minute in 바카라사이트 sun.?

Improving work-life balance will ultimately require widespread adoption of policies such as paid parental leave, equal pay, affordable childcare and flexible hours. Truly implementing 바카라사이트se policies will require us to ascend 바카라사이트 ranks within our respective sectors. If enough of us get 바카라사이트re, we will reach 바카라사이트 levers. For this to happen, we need to support, not interrupt, 바카라사이트 women who are climbing those ranks.?

Sherry Pagoto is a professor of allied health sciences and director of 바카라사이트 UConn Center for mHealth and Social Media at 바카라사이트 University of Connecticut.?