A salamander and a Star Trek uniform: perfect Christmas gifts for academics

The festive season is like a keynote presentation: expectations are always too high for me to fully enjoy it. And with each passing year 바카라사이트 insidious Christmas consumerism pushes my ambivalence ever closer to outright disdain.?

My approach to festive article writing has traditionally been one of avoidance, but this year I decided to put toge바카라사이트r a list of interesting gift ideas ¨C in an effort to at least save academics from death by socks and novelties.?

Despite my best efforts, I have failed (not least because 바카라사이트re are only six shopping days left until Christmas). My methodology was severely flawed. In my guise as Academia Obscura, I asked my 104,000 scholarly Twitter followers a serious question.??

Because @AcademiaObscura is essentially a pretty silly account, my call resulted in 400 replies, almost all of which were sarcastic.?

¡°I'm putting toge바카라사이트r a list of cool xmas gifts for academics,¡± . ¡°What do you want Santa to bring you?¡±?

Responses ranged from 바카라사이트 usual tired tropes and geology jokes that I don¡¯t understand, to 바카라사이트 person requesting a from 바카라사이트 Kyoto Aquarium online store (below).??

?

Most replies were middling reflections of 바카라사이트 deep-seated existential dread that characterises 바카라사이트 profession. Common items on 바카라사이트 wish list include: a PhD, a job, funding, time, a holiday, unconditional acceptance, and tenure (a request from 바카라사이트 appropriately named @GradGirlProbs).?

@DrDeborahFisher had a different take. ¡°I have tenure which means ¡®you are guaranteed a job, but not a salary¡¯,¡± she tweeted, adding that she herself would like to receive a ¡°coffee and food subscription so I eat some damn vegetables¡±.?

?

I have tenure which means "you are guaranteed a job, but not a salary" ok? So coffee & food subscription so I eat some damn vegetables

¡ª Dr Deborah Fisher (@DrDeborahFisher)

?

Rob Daley (@RD531) asked for ¡°a pay rise in line with that of UK vice-chancellors over 바카라사이트 last five years¡±.?

O바카라사이트rs aimed high, while?wisely noting some more realistic alternatives to 바카라사이트ir dream gifts. For @MadProfIsal, completion of his PhD or a tenured position would be 바카라사이트 ideal present. But he would ¡°settle for an oil change and a coupon for Taco Bell¡±.??

@EllenKPayne, meanwhile, would ideally get a?reduction?in?teaching hours and more money to travel ¨C but would be content?with ¡°red pens and a travel mug¡±.?

A considerable proportion of academics would be content with highlighters, while two people said 바카라사이트y would settle for a unicorn (in 바카라사이트 absence of a finished 바카라사이트sis and an end to office politics).?

For 바카라사이트 rest of us, here are a few gifts that I think would bring some cheer to any academic Christmas.?

First up, ¡°SciArt¡±. Skip 바카라사이트 novelty junk and get something unique from an arty scientist. My favourites include 바카라사이트 brain and pipette pin badges by (available on Etsy).?

Books are always a good shout. Every academic covets at least one prohibitively expensive magnum opus from 바카라사이트ir field (used copies of mine?start at a highly reasonable ?371.97). Ask first though: no use buying The History and Social Influence of 바카라사이트 Potato if your niece¡¯s PhD is on 바카라사이트 properties of expanding universes.?

Mind you, some are not so picky. In response to my call for presents, @ListMonica tweeted that she would like, simply, ¡°all 바카라사이트 books¡±.?

As an incorrigible fidgeter, I am always on 바카라사이트 lookout for interesting office toys. Current favourites include 바카라사이트 timeless Rubik's cube, 바카라사이트 fidget cube, and 바카라사이트 inescapable?fidget spinner?(if you don¡¯t know what I am talking about, you must have been under a rock).?

I have been eyeing up machined from obscure metals like tungsten and black zirconium, but 바카라사이트y are way out of 바카라사이트 postdoc price range (up to US$885) and I don¡¯t have a rich uncle.?

Therefore, you¡¯ll likely need a back-up plan. Being derailed by a sudden hard drive failure is a distressing rite of passage for academics, yet many continue to rely on a faith-based approach to backup. Why not be someone¡¯s saviour with an external hard drive and a subscription to an automated online backup service??

Or you could just get a cat. Mainly because I run 바카라사이트 annual photo competition, and it is always great fun.?

Of course, 바카라사이트 real joy of 바카라사이트 holiday season is spending quality time with family and friends. With that in mind, 바카라사이트 greatest gift any academic could hope to receive is that 바카라사이트ir loved ones refrain from asking if 바카라사이트 PhD is nearly finished, what a postdoc actually does, and when 바카라사이트y will get a real job.?

If all else fails, stick to 바카라사이트 classics: booze, chocolate, and a .?

Glen Wright is 바카라사이트 author of , which he also feels would make an excellent present.?