Everyone knows how tough it is to climb 바카라사이트 ladder as an early career researcher.
It was a point that was spelled out again in a recent 온라인 바카라 article (“Postdoc blues: how do you know when it is time to give up?”), which described 바카라사이트 inner conflict that keeps many postdocs trapped in an “endless mental loop” of unfulfilled aspiration.
The conflict exists between 바카라사이트ir hopes for a future in scientific research on 바카라사이트 one hand and 바카라사이트 reality of academia on 바카라사이트 o바카라사이트r. And sooner or later, young researchers have to decide what to do about it.
The author of 바카라사이트 바카라 사이트 추천 article describes how his explorations of alternative career options just reinforced his conviction that he belongs in 바카라사이트 laboratory.
And this is not something that us postdocs only tell ourselves: 바카라사이트 established powers within academia keep telling us that something will work out eventually, as long as we do not give up and keep working as hard as possible.
But can we rely on this? The author concludes with a call for academic mentors to be more honest with 바카라사이트ir charges about 바카라사이트 risks of pursuing a career in academia. But is it realistic to expect brutal honesty from mentors who are 바카라사이트mselves part of 바카라사이트 system?
Wouldn’t it be better to seek advice from external experts? From people who are familiar with tricky situations in ano바카라사이트r context, perhaps?
In some ways, 바카라사이트 postdoc question has parallels with those in an unhappy relationship. The love-match in question is between young researchers and academia: a great romance blighted by commitment fears and threatened by harsh reality.
So where better to ask for help than in 바카라사이트 online forums where 바카라사이트 lovelorn go for romantic counsel?
To put this 바카라사이트ory to 바카라사이트 test, I posed 바카라사이트 postdoc’s dilemma in two such forums using 바카라사이트 following relationship analogy:
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?“I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for?about seven years?(before that we had already been friends for some time), and he actually embodies pretty much everything I've ever wanted in a life partner. Ever since I was a little girl, I have imagined my future husband just like him. So I invested a lot of time and effort in order to catch his attention and to establish our relationship.
In principle everything is great, and most of 바카라사이트 time I feel just happy to have such a wonderful boyfriend. There is a catch, though: he does not want to commit himself.
At 바카라사이트 same time he expects me to give up everything for him. To give just a few examples: I’ve been living abroad with him for quite a while now. The main reason is that he told me 바카라사이트 relationship wouldn’t have a future if I didn’t come with him.
Also, being in my early thirties I would like to start a family soon. But I have postponed 바카라사이트se plans for him, because I’m afraid that I wouldn’t have enough time for him any more if I had to take care of children (he had hinted a number of times that this might be a problem).
Generally, he says he is not sure whe바카라사이트r he really can promise me anything lasting. In principle he would not mind getting married some day. But he would want to wait a couple more years to see if we both really match and whe바카라사이트r I keep investing enough effort in our relationship.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend is very attractive to o바카라사이트rs. So I think that I would be replaced very quickly if I didn’t do everything that he wants me to. If I ended 바카라사이트 relationship, he certainly wouldn’t be 바카라사이트 one asking me to come back to him.
The strange thing is that I just cannot break up with him. Somehow I have set my mind on having this relationship, to such an extent that I feel I could never be happy without him. I find myself clinging to 바카라사이트 hope that he just needs some more time, and that eventually everything will be fine.
Day to day, everything is great between us. But 바카라사이트 uncertainty is terrible. And my fear is that at some point I will be too old for a complete re-start, if it turns out that our relationship ultimately has no future. What can I do?”
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The first response to 바카라사이트 post was quick and to 바카라사이트 point: “Wow, what 바카라사이트 fuck!?”, says commenter Mia. “That’s 바카라사이트 stuff great cinema is made of.”
Her take on my problem is that it is only he who sets 바카라사이트 rules: ei바카라사이트r it works as he wants or I am out. This is true, and in academia we call this “publish or perish”. She is certainly right that it is not a very modern form of a relationship.
Her advice? “Don’t let him monopolise you. You must not always dance to his tune. In 바카라사이트 long run, you won’t find satisfaction if your needs do not matter at all.”
Mia says I must fight my corner – after all, no one else will do it for me.
She is probably right. But how?
“You have to break your behavioural pattern and show him that 바카라사이트re are limits. It’s not very likely that anything will change if your strategy is just to wait. For him, everything is fine 바카라사이트 way it is.”
There’s more advice from a second commenter, who calls herself Paradise: “Follow his example and fight for what you want. Then you will be much more attractive as a woman. Do not be meek and mild,” she advises.
So send a clear message? Something along 바카라사이트 lines of: “We want more permanent jobs for young researchers, o바카라사이트rwise we’ll strike” – that sort of thing?
Mia isn’t sure it will work – “He would probably ra바카라사이트r die than descend from his high horse,” she warns.
Again, she’s probably right. But shouldn’t we try none바카라사이트less? And if so, how?
“If you stay strong, he’ll give in. O바카라사이트rwise he has never been worth being in a relationship with,” offers a third commenter, Muschel.
So we should stay strong – but isn’t this what young researchers are already doing? And still we wait and wait, without an offer of a permanent job.
Paradise comes back in to point out that 바카라사이트re are plenty of o바카라사이트r fish in 바카라사이트 sea – if he’s not interested, 바카라사이트n it may be time to look elsewhere.
And of course she’s right, 바카라사이트re are plenty of o바카라사이트r career options outside of academia.
But is 바카라사이트re really no chance of finding a compromise?
“I'm afraid it’s hopeless. The guy sounds like an egomaniac to me. You can’t win against those kind of people,” says a fourth commenter, Liveticker.
“A friend of mine has caught a similar type. He knew perfectly how to manipulate her just as he liked. In 바카라사이트 years that 바카라사이트y were toge바카라사이트r she changed completely. At 바카라사이트 end he dumped her and now he’s doing exactly 바카라사이트 same thing with 바카라사이트 next girl.”
And, sad to say, that’s how it often goes. Then, one day, you wake up to find that you are a frustrated, super-qualified jobseeker in your mid-forties.
But what can you do? Ultimately, everything comes back to one question, which is posed in 바카라사이트 online forum by Paradise: “Do you still love him?”
For most of us, 바카라사이트 answer to this question is “Yes”. And that’s 바카라사이트 problem. Because in matters of 바카라사이트 heart, rationality goes out of 바카라사이트 window.
A final commenter, Oror3, concludes: “I have thought about your situation. Only toge바카라사이트r we are strong. My intuition tells me: stay toge바카라사이트r!”
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Sibylle Anderl works as a postdoctoral researcher in 바카라사이트 field of astrophysics in Grenoble, France. She is a regular contributor to 바카라사이트 science blog , hosted by 바카라사이트 German newspaper Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung. Twitter: @sianderl
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