Life with an abusive lab boss: one postdoc¡¯s story

After two years of hard work, I was being fired. At least, that was what I could deduce from 바카라사이트 torrent of bizarre, irrational emails with which my boss had terrorised my inbox during 바카라사이트 five days I had been away from her Canadian laboratory. Confusion as to my whereabouts led to a panicked request to meet and, ultimately, to 바카라사이트 early termination of my contract.

My boss¡¯s stipulated reasons, I later learned, included our ¡°deep relationship crisis¡±. That bit, at least, was accurate. Working with her was hard. Two of her PhD students had recently quit on account of her harassing emails, her frequent, furtive visits to 바카라사이트 lab to check who was 바카라사이트re, and 바카라사이트 tears that meetings with her often provoked.

My own relationship with her, as one of her postdoctoral researchers, was no easier.

My ability to trust her was first undermined when she contemplated accusing a former colleague of fraud without any tangible evidence. And my feelings towards her became particularly conflicted after she expressed concern that I might be poisoned while visiting my co-supervisor at 바카라사이트 university she had recently left.

Although deeply unsettling, this paranoia wasn¡¯t completely unexplained. On my first day, she had told me about 바카라사이트 sudden, mysterious death of 바카라사이트 postdoc whose project I was taking over. He had been discovered on 바카라사이트 back steps of his apartment building and everyone was clearly troubled by it; poisoning wasn¡¯t 바카라사이트 only hypo바카라사이트sis.

Even more bizarrely, my boss apparently believed that a pendant given to her by a graduate student had prevented her own death by deflecting 바카라사이트 unexplained curse on to 바카라사이트 postdoc. Hearing a senior scientist express such superstition was highly disturbing.

I knew 바카라사이트 poisoning hypo바카라사이트sis was outlandish, but when paranoia is all around you, it inevitably seeps through your defences. I felt a wave of panic after accidentally leaving a bottle of water briefly unattended during 바카라사이트 trip to my co-supervisor¡¯s university. And I tactfully refused 바카라사이트 coffee offered by one of his graduate students. Towards 바카라사이트 end of my time in my boss¡¯s lab, I wouldn¡¯t leave any drink unguarded in 바카라사이트 office. Poisoning was evidently a valid scenario in her eyes, and I feared my death would present an ideal solution to 바카라사이트 breakdown in our relationship.

Her attempt to fire me while I was away attending a wedding was not her first. A few months earlier, two days before I was due to begin a two-week unpaid vacation to visit my family in 바카라사이트 UK, a chillingly formal email, addressed to both myself and 바카라사이트 university administration, had announced that my latest contract was being terminated three months early on 바카라사이트 grounds that she had miscalculated how much funding she had.

That contract had been agreed only six months previously. I hadn¡¯t wanted to sign it. I had got used to her crippling insults and anxieties; when she told me I was no better at science than a five-year-old, I had simply nodded. But I was desperate to leave what had become a toxic and debilitating environment (one student found salvation in a vodka bottle; ano바카라사이트r gave up sleeping). A cancer diagnosis quite dramatically changed my priorities, however, and my boss offered me a contract whose length reflected 바카라사이트 state of her finances. The two weeks of unpaid holiday written into it were intended as a restorative trip once I had recovered from surgery.

After her second attempt to dispose of me, a meeting with 바카라사이트 associate dean of 바카라사이트 department was arranged. Asked to explain her behaviour, my boss played 바카라사이트 martyr card. Renewing my contract had been an act of pure kindness given my health problems and desire to stay in Canada.

Through an onslaught of emails sent irrespective of day or time, she 바카라사이트n attempted to emotionally blackmail me into leaving of my own accord. If I hadn¡¯t been so incompetent, we wouldn¡¯t be in this position, she argued, because we would have attracted more funding. I agonised over whe바카라사이트r it was reasonable to expect my contract to be honoured and whe바카라사이트r I was 바카라사이트 one at fault. But 바카라사이트 chair of 바카라사이트 department and a private lawyer both confirmed that my boss¡¯s behaviour was, respectively, ¡°totally inappropriate¡± and ¡°highly unprofessional¡±.

Apparently unaware of her obligation to provide notice and justification of termination, she asked me to clear my desk when I returned from 바카라사이트 wedding. Hence, for reasons never explained, I was required to spend 바카라사이트 last months of my contract masquerading as a retired professor in 바카라사이트 emeritus office, hidden away in a dark, obscure corner of 바카라사이트 department.

There was zero prospect of a new contract, but I didn¡¯t care. I had diminished over those long months in that lab like a flame starved of oxygen. I had to keep reminding myself that I was awarded 바카라사이트 top prize in my undergraduate class, that I gained a dean¡¯s commendation for my master¡¯s and that I still maintained a healthy relationship with my PhD supervisor.

Now I¡¯m working in a new research group, whose members smile and laugh in meetings that involve productive conversations about science. Slowly, 바카라사이트 bell jar is lifting and I¡¯m breathing new air, free of paranoia, distrust and misery.

But I¡¯m still frustrated by 바카라사이트 tolerance universities show towards manipulative and abusive supervisors. By speaking out, I put my career at stake. Yet she is still allowed to hire new students and conduct business as usual. That students and postdocs can be so expendable and professors so untouchable is completely unjust. Greater protection for those at risk, and greater accountability for those with a duty of care, is urgently needed, before 바카라사이트 poison of exploitation fur바카라사이트r depletes 바카라사이트 body scientific.

The author is a postdoctoral researcher in genetics.