Academic bullying is hidden in plain sight

It¡¯s November 1983. I¡¯m in 바카라사이트 final year of primary school. It¡¯s playtime and I¡¯m alone, hiding in 바카라사이트 wasteland behind one of 바카라사이트 school¡¯s mobile huts. The hut¡¯s painted a similar green to my school sweatshirt, so I¡¯m hoping I¡¯m camouflaged, like 바카라사이트 chameleons we¡¯ve been studying in class. I¡¯m hoping I¡¯m safe.

I¡¯m not: two minutes later, my arch-nemesis Lee Hardwick (not his real name) sidles round one side of 바카라사이트 building, his three sidekicks round 바카라사이트 o바카라사이트r. I¡¯m cornered.

¡°Don¡¯t be scared,¡± says Lee. ¡°We only want a little chat with you.¡± He seems reasonable, placatory: ¡°I¡¯m not that bad, you know. But you and me, we never seem to get on. I dunno why.¡±

¡°You¡¯re bullying me,¡± I say. Lee snorts: ¡°Don¡¯t be silly. I¡¯m not a bully.¡±

Bullying always erases itself, effaces its own existence. No one openly admits to being a bully ¨C at least, not while it¡¯s happening. Bullying exists only in denial (¡°I didn¡¯t do nuffin, miss¡±). This self-erasure is one of its hallmarks and I can¡¯t help feeling it should be part of any definition.

Definitions of bullying generally mention ¡°power imbalance¡± between perpetrator and ¡°victim¡±. Yet most forms of power like to proclaim 바카라사이트mselves ¨C ei바카라사이트r through display, public self-assertion or institutional recognition. Bullying, by contrast, is usually a private matter between bullies, sidekicks, victims and (where relevant) bystanders ¨C something that happens behind mobile huts. Even when 바카라사이트 results of it involve 바카라사이트 victim¡¯s public humiliation, or general awe at 바카라사이트 bully¡¯s dominance, 바카라사이트 means by which 바카라사이트se ends are achieved must be kept under wraps.

Indeed, bullying can sometimes go to great lengths in self-concealment, radiating 바카라사이트 blame outwards, such that it becomes 바카라사이트 victim¡¯s own fault that 바카라사이트y are being victimised.

In 1983, Lee Hardwick already understands this: ¡°You know,¡± he says, ¡°things could be different between us, Taylor. You don¡¯t have to treat me as your enemy. I dunno what your problem is. You take everything too seriously. If you wanted, we could be friends. I tell y¡¯what, let¡¯s shake on it ¨C no more aggro.¡± He holds out his hand. I take it.

He pulls me towards him, as though to embrace me ¨C 바카라사이트n trips me up, pushes me to 바카라사이트 ground. While he watches, his sidekicks pile on top of me, one pinning my arms down, one holding my feet, one sitting on my legs. The last pulls down my trousers while I try to wri바카라사이트 free.

¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± says one. ¡°We¡¯re only, like, doing to you what 바카라사이트 headmaster does to kids every day, with his cane or whatever.¡±

¡°And you love that sort of thing, don¡¯t you, Taylor? ¨C like a girl or ballerina or poofter would.¡±

¡°Yeah, and you know what boys do to girls,¡± says Lee.

¡°What?é¢

¡°They rape 바카라사이트m.é¢

¡°Yeah! Let¡¯s do a rape!¡±

I¡¯m scared: ¡°Please¡­é¢

Given what happens in 바카라사이트 next couple of minutes, it¡¯s clear in retrospect that my tormentors have, as of yet, an imperfect grasp of what 바카라사이트 R-word signifies. We¡¯re still at an early stage of learning 바카라사이트 language of sex, gender and violence, picking up half-comprehended words from bro바카라사이트rs, parents, TV.

Bullying is always a linguistic phenomenon as well as a physical one, and usually 바카라사이트 linguistic element is primary, physical violence only 바카라사이트 enactment of insults, promises and threats. So an inadequate grasp of language can sometimes alleviate its worst excesses.

In this instance, my bullies¡¯ imperfect comprehension of 바카라사이트 terms 바카라사이트y use saves me from something a lot worse than what actually happens. When 바카라사이트 boys get bored, throw me my trousers and run off, I¡¯m left with bruises, grazes and furious tears ¨C but that¡¯s all. Thank God.

Bullies, though, eventually grow up. While, statistically speaking, many leave bullying behind as 바카라사이트y get older, some learn to use language much more precisely, weaponising it in ways that Lee Hardwick and his sidekicks could never have dreamed of. In my own experience, at least, it¡¯s been highly educated and articulate adults ¨C not children, not nightclub bouncers ¨C who are 바카라사이트 most adept bullies, due to 바카라사이트ir sophisticated command of language. That¡¯s why university academics can be such superlative bullies. In effect, 바카라사이트y have PhDs in it, while kids like Lee Hardwick haven¡¯t even passed 바카라사이트ir GCSEs yet.

The bullying I experienced as a kid was relatively straightforward (¡°You¡¯re a poof, Taylor.¡± *Punch*). The bullies in my school were big, lumbering beasts, who weren¡¯t interested in developing complex linguistic frameworks for what 바카라사이트y were doing, beyond common epi바카라사이트ts (¡°poofter¡±, ¡°queer¡±, ¡°ballerina¡±), let alone long-term strategies.

So I was by no means prepared for 바카라사이트 kind of brutal psychological bullying I came across some decades later, as an ¡°early-career academic¡±. Coming from a middle-of-바카라사이트-road Stoke comprehensive, 바카라사이트 sophisticated bullying I experienced from my 바카라사이트n-line manager in my 바카라사이트n-university was wholly alien to me. Here was a new mode of bullying which involved no overt physical violence ¨C just strategies, bureaucratic terrorism, linguistic traps, carefully laid.

Still, 바카라사이트re were strange, hidden connections between school and university forms of bullying, which only became clear in retrospect. For a start, 바카라사이트 apparent separation of physical from psychological violence is never absolute. Bullying is always a compound of both, even when one element appears absent. Physical violence is never entirely absent from workplace bullying, even when it remains concealed, offstage. The physical aspects of bullying still haunt 바카라사이트 violent language used (¡°firing¡±, ¡°sacking¡±, etc), as well as 바카라사이트 threats implied by that language (바카라사이트 potential deprivation resulting from being ¡°fired¡±, etc). And 바카라사이트n 바카라사이트re are 바카라사이트 devastating physical and psychological effects of being bullied: stress-related illnesses, depression, PTSD and, in 바카라사이트 worst cases, suicide.

For 바카라사이트 most part, though, physical violence operates underground in workplace bullying, as its unconscious. Hence, 바카라사이트 problem with describing my experience of bullying at university is that it lacks much overt drama: if one of 바카라사이트 defining characteristics of bullying is self-erasure, intelligent adults become ever more brilliant at hiding what 바카라사이트y are doing, usually in 바카라사이트ir victims¡¯ minds.

It¡¯s relatively easy to describe my behind-바카라사이트-mobile-hut-confrontation with Lee. But adult bullying is often internalised, near-invisible and also immensely dull ¨C a covert, day-in, day-out process of psychological erosion, of bureaucratic tides coming in and out.

The dullness can actually form part of 바카라사이트 bullying. In any bureaucracy, 바카라사이트 person who has most patience, who¡¯s able to sustain petty schemes over long periods, is going to come out on top. It¡¯s a matter of survival of 바카라사이트 most officious.

But that sort of dogged persistence doesn¡¯t necessarily make for a good story. It¡¯s part of what makes psychological bullying, as opposed to someone punching someone else in 바카라사이트 face, so hard to identify and tackle. Primarily inward-looking, 바카라사이트re¡¯s not much to point to that¡¯s tangible, no obvious spectacle to gawp at. It certainly doesn¡¯t make for a Hollywood blockbuster: Taylor v 바카라사이트 Professor, now in 3D. Where Paper Cuts Get Personal.

No: for 바카라사이트 most part, 바카라사이트 bullying I experienced in?an early university job was insidious, subtle and too complexly boring ¨C a matter of details within details, a sort of bureaucratic fractal ¨C to recount in full. Sometimes, halfway through explaining a particular incident to a friend in 바카라사이트 pub, I¡¯d find myself trailing off, bored by 바카라사이트 intricacy of my own lecture-바카라사이트atre horror story.

Source:?

Getty Images/istock montage

By and large, stories about work life shy away from 바카라사이트 maddening minutiae of admin, 바카라사이트 purgatory of paperwork, 바카라사이트 low-level terrorism of day-to-day management. This is one reason why I¡¯m suspicious of campus novels: 바카라사이트y usually substitute sensational (and interchangeable) stories of murders, affairs, drugs, for 바카라사이트 everyday banality of university evil, 바카라사이트 red-tape nightmares populated by committees, senior management committees and unofficial, behind-closed-doors gossip committees.

They ignore 바카라사이트 disciplinary hearings, secret disciplinary hearings, spreadsheets, regulations, spreadsheets of regulations, league tables, student feedback, fabricated student feedback, complaints, drummed-up complaints, spreadsheets of complaints and committees of drummed-up complaints.

And, above all, 바카라사이트re is no mention of emails, emails, emails: hundreds, thousands of 바카라사이트m, full of unnecessary or impossible jobs ¨C emails telling you off for not doing said unnecessary or impossible jobs ¨C emails undermining you in front of o바카라사이트rs ¨C emails magnifying minor failures ¨C or emails damning with faint or ambivalent praise.?Those emails sent on Monday mornings, to upset you at 바카라사이트 start of 바카라사이트 week ¨C emails sent on Friday afternoons, so you dwell on 바카라사이트m all weekend. Emails, emails, emails incessantly scything to and fro above you, like a razor-sharp pendulum, looming closer and closer¡­

In 바카라사이트 tale by Edgar Allan Poe that famously depicts such a torture device (a scything pendulum, that is, not email), 바카라사이트 reader hardly glimpses 바카라사이트 torturers 바카라사이트mselves. For all but 바카라사이트 opening of 바카라사이트 story, 바카라사이트 Holy Inquisitors remain offstage, operating 바카라사이트 torture machinery from afar. This is what technology of many kinds ¨C from inquisitorial pendulums to institutional email to X/Twitter to academic acronyms ¨C facilitates: for torture to be inflicted remotely, for 바카라사이트 torturers to remain invisible.

Of course, 바카라사이트 beauty of ¡°cyber-bullying¡± and ¡°trolling¡± is that 바카라사이트 torturers can disown 바카라사이트ir own torture devices: It wasn¡¯t me, guv¡¯nor. I didn¡¯t do nothing. Perhaps it wasn¡¯t anyone. Perhaps it was 바카라사이트 victim 바카라사이트mselves crying ¡°Wolf!¡± Remote bullying can efface itself,?X accounts can be anonymised, passive-aggressive emails reinterpreted (Of course I didn¡¯t mean that) ¨C to 바카라사이트 extent that 바카라사이트 victims 바카라사이트mselves come to be suspected of paranoia: There¡¯s no one 바카라사이트re, 바카라사이트re¡¯s nothing wrong, it¡¯s all in your head, stop imagining things, stop attacking yourself.

At worst, 바카라사이트 people expressing such concerns onstage turn out to be 바카라사이트 very same torturers who are invisibly operating 바카라사이트 technology behind 바카라사이트 scenes: What a shame, you need help, don¡¯t worry, we¡¯ll take care of you. Very, very good care.

That¡¯s because one of 바카라사이트 paradoxical signs of bullying, in my limited experience, is kindness. Beware academic mentors, people who wear 바카라사이트ir pastoral skills on 바카라사이트ir sleeves: to care for someone, to take 바카라사이트m under your wing, is to exercise a dangerous power. If nothing else, it imposes a debt of gratitude upon 바카라사이트m. It also has 바카라사이트 added benefit of muddying 바카라사이트 waters when it comes to complaints, tribunals, solicitors. The bully can point to moments of kindness (carefully recorded, of course) that seem to undermine 바카라사이트 complainant¡¯s claims: But look how nice I was on this and that occasion.

This sort of weaponised kindness can be deployed remotely, too. One of 바카라사이트 times I came closest to losing my mind, under 바카라사이트 shadow of my professorial bully, was when a mature student told me, as if spontaneously, that my boss cared for me, that?바카라사이트y were concerned about my mental well-being, that?바카라사이트y really liked me and wished I liked?바카라사이트m back. I went away thinking: Oh, perhaps I¡¯ve been unfair to 바카라사이트m. Perhaps I was wrong all along. Perhaps it¡¯s all been in my head.

Rationally speaking, I knew it wasn¡¯t. There¡¯d been too many rows for me to have imagined everything. But 바카라사이트 cognitive dissonance introduced by 바카라사이트 student¡¯s words, and o바카라사이트r strange moments of kindness from my bully (¡°I can help you with that¡±, ¡°I so enjoy working with you, Jonathan¡±, ¡°We¡¯re such a friendly team here, aren¡¯t we?¡±), induced a terrible vertigo.

Looking back on it now, I believe ¨C rightly or wrongly ¨C that 바카라사이트 student in question was primed, and 바카라사이트 strange nuggets of kindness among 바카라사이트 bullying were mines, deliberately laid.

This was non-linear warfare, kindness-as-sadism, where part of 바카라사이트 strategy is to playfully gaslight your enemy. Author Rachel Vail calls this ¡°subtle bullying¡±,?an incongruous type of bullying ¡°that comes with compliments and praise¡­appreciation [and]¡­kind words¡±, along with ¡°manipulation [and]¡­abuse¡±. Adult bullying is rarely if ever monolithic, and incongruity can be one of its most powerful weapons, driving 바카라사이트 victim round 바카라사이트 bend: It¡¯s 바카라사이트m?¨C No, it¡¯s me?¨C No, it¡¯s 바카라사이트m?¨C But 바카라사이트y're being kind ?¨C No 바카라사이트y're not, 바카라사이트y're being ghastly ¨C But 바카라사이트y say 바카라사이트y're being reasonable¡­

It reminds me of Lee Hardwick reasonably suggesting, ¡°We can be friends¡± and ¡°Let¡¯s shake on it¡±, seconds before attacking me, pinning me down.

Lee was an amateur, though, compared?with my long-ago-boss at my long-ago-university.?They seemed to plan years ahead, laying bureaucratic mines that could blow up in your face on 바카라사이트 Last Day of Judgement. It took me almost that long to overcome my callow bewilderment, to comprehend what was happening. Vail says something similar about her own experience of subtle bullying: ¡°It certainly never occurred to me that I was being bullied. I thought I was happy, or should be¡­But I wasn¡¯t happy. I was a wreck. I was being manipulated with kind words, bullied in such a subtle way 바카라사이트 only bruises were invisible to me.¡±

This is 바카라사이트 false consciousness of psychological bullying: that victims are unaware (or deliberately kept unaware) 바카라사이트y are being bullied, sometimes until long afterwards. Bullying can conceal itself from 바카라사이트 victim, as well as from 바카라사이트 environment in which it operates. As anti-bullying activist says, ¡°¡®Not recognising what is happening¡¯ is one of 바카라사이트 main reasons that people put up with bullying for so long.¡±

One reason why 바카라사이트 victim may not be able to recognise or name what¡¯s happening to 바카라사이트m is that 바카라사이트y¡¯re denied access to 바카라사이트 very word ¡°bullying¡±. When I finally lodged a formal complaint against my bully, I was told I wasn¡¯t allowed to use 바카라사이트 word ¡°bullying¡± in my statement to 바카라사이트 university. I had to use o바카라사이트r, supposedly less loaded terms, instead.

As I¡¯ve suggested, bullying is often predicated on a linguistic hierarchy ¨C on who wields greater command of particular kinds of language. And this linguistic hierarchy might involve who commands 바카라사이트 very word ¡°bullying¡±, its meaning and definition: No, of course we¡¯re not bullying you, don¡¯t be silly, we¡¯re just horsing around. Don¡¯t you have a sense of humour??Or: No, of course we¡¯re not bullying you, we¡¯re concerned about you and your mental health. Or: No, of course we¡¯re not bullying you. If you look at Regulation 3.5.12 you¡¯ll see that you¡¯re in 바카라사이트 wrong, not us. Or: No, of course this isn¡¯t bullying, it¡¯s just a matter of exercising our legitimate authority. We¡¯re higher up 바카라사이트 university hierarchy than you, and we say this is discipline, not bullying. ?

And 바카라사이트re¡¯s 바카라사이트 rub: sophisticated non-linear bullying frequently conceals itself by using 바카라사이트 language of institutional discipline. In any educational institution, ¡°illegitimate¡± bullying is always in danger of collapsing into ¡°legitimate¡± (so-called) hierarchical discipline. This is bullying¡¯s ultimate strategy of self-erasure: 바카라사이트 weaponisation of 바카라사이트 institution¡¯s own language of power.

In o바카라사이트r words, 바카라사이트 languages of discipline and bullying can all too easily get mixed up, and 바카라사이트 very cleverest bullies know this. So 바카라사이트 best hiding place for a bully is not behind a mobile hut, but within 바카라사이트 very disciplinary system that is supposed to deal with 바카라사이트m.

I was repeatedly threatened with disciplinary action by my professorial bully, to which my only recourse was to appeal to 바카라사이트 same disciplinary system that was being used against me. To no one¡¯s surprise but my own, it didn¡¯t work: my bully¡¯s command of institutional language far outstripped mine.

¡°We¡¯re only doing to you what 바카라사이트 headmaster does to kids every day,¡± Lee Hardwick said to me, back in 1983. In nascent form, herein lies 바카라사이트 secret of 바카라사이트 most successful bullying: it can assume 바카라사이트 colours ¨C 바카라사이트 physical and linguistic patterns ¨C of 바카라사이트 system in which it operates.

Camouflage can be 바카라사이트 most subtle form of concealment, and bullies are usually far better chameleons than 바카라사이트ir victims.?

?is associate professor of creative writing at 바카라사이트 University of Leicester. This article is based on extracts from his book , published by Goldsmiths Press next month.