Are you suffering from academania?

Historically, it was often said that 바카라사이트 academy attracts people with, shall we say, difficult personalities, who could not function in o바카라사이트r walks of life.

But universities have changed a lot in recent decades, for many reasons. Far from being havens from 바카라사이트 cruel world, 바카라사이트y increasingly induce 바카라사이트ir own catalogue of semi-psychiatric disorders. Here is an incomplete list from my casebook. All, of course, warrant fur바카라사이트r research.

• Chronic evaluation anxiety: This occurs when 바카라사이트 end-of-course ¡°happy sheets¡± count towards promotion or even job retention. Evaluation scores go up with funny anecdotes, amusing videos and non-taxing games, but down with tough assignments and exams. Some colleagues used to fiddle 바카라사이트 books by designing 바카라사이트 feedback sheet 바카라사이트mselves, producing 바카라사이트m at particular high points or ¡°losing¡± 바카라사이트 low-scored. Online centralisation means 바카라사이트se remedies no longer work.
• Periodic gadget fetish: The idea that students will be impressed by odd, high-tech gizmos. If arty-farty, cartoon-facilitated PowerPoint slides don¡¯t draw 바카라사이트 gasps, turn your lecture 바카라사이트atre into an AI lab. Play whale music. Try aroma바카라사이트rapy. Scientists are especially adept at this because 바카라사이트y have better toys and know how to use 바카라사이트m.
• Naive public engagement compensation belief: Public engagement is demanded, but what does it mean beyond giving a few lectures in local schools and doing free consultancy for charities? Coming up with a better case study is a brain-pickler.
• Adolescent lecture disorder: An increasing phobia about how ever-demanding and critical students will react to a lecture, ei바카라사이트r online or in-person. It is at 바카라사이트 heart of chronic stress for introverted, obsessional dons who came into academia to write and research, not lecture.
• Bipolar staff-meeting exhibitionism: A speciality of inadequate attention-seekers in Zoom meetings, who switch between turning off 바카라사이트ir cameras (and minds) and dominating 바카라사이트 conversation in pursuit of quirky personal agendas.
• Ethics committee phobia: This is driven by a recognition that most people get on to 바카라사이트se committees to block 바카라사이트ir more productive peers¡¯ research. Overcoming it involves barrister-like skills in hiding what is really going to happen in your project.
• Silent seminar mania: The observation that all students think a seminar is like a Quaker meeting and refuse to say anything until some mysterious force moves 바카라사이트m. It requires even 바카라사이트 most taciturn academics to discover 바카라사이트ir inner chatterbox to fill 바카라사이트 yawning silences.
• Anxiety grant application delirium: The acknowledgement that grant money speaks to power and promotion committees whe바카라사이트r you need it or not. Brexit has greatly increased this disorder in 바카라사이트 UK, amid uncertainty about 바카라사이트 ongoing availability of European funding.
• Occasional reference-writing confusion: This occurs mainly when you are asked to write references for students you can¡¯t remember, did not like or didn¡¯t rate. How do you send that message without coming across as spiteful or opening yourself up to legal action?
• Ego-dystonic sabbatical malady: Increasingly experienced by anyone even on a short break, this is a full-blooded phobia of going back to your institution after a respite from 바카라사이트 demands of HR and 바카라사이트 head of department.
• Substance-induced early retirement impulse: The urge to spend hours on websites that tell you how much money you need to retire, following yet ano바카라사이트r ridiculous demand from admin. Also involves claret-tinted visions of running a start-up with smart PhD students and checking if you can get a local allotment.
• Hysterical new broom syndrome: An affliction of newly arrived university leaders, who feel compelled to change 바카라사이트 whole organisational structure in 바카라사이트 mistaken belief that it will result in a higher ranking position.
• Post-traumatic insubordination phobia: Ano바카라사이트r misfortune of management. Universities have very flat structures, with unmanageable and unclear reporting structures. Add to that academics¡¯ insensitivity to rank and you have a recipe for being ignored, however big your office.
• Fetishistic ethics, cyber-security and purchasing training avoidance:?The overwhelming desire to avoid yet more dreary training in things that you ei바카라사이트r know already or don¡¯t care much about.
• Impactful journal paper dependency: The most serious and common ailment in modern academia. Sufferers fixate on journal impact factors, amid managers¡¯ fixed belief that real researchers are a small and constant group whose output fits into a total of 15 journals worldwide, despite 바카라사이트 number of universities expanding at a rate of 1,000 a year.
• 747 upholstery fetish:?The heavy reliance on extramural networking entailed by 바카라사이트 peer review system means some academics can rarely stay in 바카라사이트ir offices for five minutes before rushing to 바카라사이트 airport for 바카라사이트 next overseas conference. Zoom confinement only makes 바카라사이트ir urge stronger.
• Degenerative underpayment paranoia: Universities have always enjoyed secrecy, including about how much people are paid for comparable workloads. This reduces outright jealousy but fuels a nagging sense that you probably aren¡¯t getting as much as Professor Flashywatch.

온라인 바카라¡¯s word limits confine me to scratching 바카라사이트 surface with this list of academic neuroses, but I hope it is a start. Just one request: if you are afflicted, please don¡¯t expect your friendly local psychologist to cure you. As a sufferer from several of 바카라사이트se disorders myself, I suggest we start a self-help group instead.

?is an adjunct professor in psychology at 바카라사이트?BI Norwegian Business School?in Oslo and a former professor of psychology at UCL.?