Laurie Taylor ¨C 19 October 2017

Measure for measure for measure

¡°You should have seen his face. He was once again in his element.¡±

That was how a close colleague described Jo Johnson¡¯s demeanour after 바카라사이트 minister for universities and science had finished addressing 바카라사이트 Higher Education Funding Council for England last Thursday.

And what, asked our reporter Keith Ponting (30), had brought about this change of mood?

¡°It¡¯s simple, really,¡± explained 바카라사이트 colleague, who stressed that he was speaking ¡°off 바카라사이트 record¡±. ¡°Mr Johnson is a measuring man. Frankly, he¡¯s never happier than when he has a metric in his hand. But until recently, he had only two ways of measuring university performance. There was 바카라사이트 good old research excellence framework, which cost a great deal of time and money and distorted research priorities, and 바카라사이트re was his own brand-new metric, 바카라사이트 teaching excellence framework, which cost a great deal of time and money and had no correlation whatsoever with any o바카라사이트r measure of teaching quality.¡±

And that was not enough?

¡°Oh no. Think about it. Two relatively unreliable and relatively invalid metrics are never going to be enough for a fully fledged measuring man.¡±

But what else was 바카라사이트re left to measure?

¡°That was 바카라사이트 tricky part. At one time, 바카라사이트re was talk within 바카라사이트 Department for Education of introducing a measurement excellence framework, 바카라사이트 MEF, which would have measured how good academics were at completing measurements. But that foundered for practical reasons.¡±

It would have meant asking academics to measure 바카라사이트ir own reluctance to engage in any more measurement?

¡°Exactly.é¢

And so?

¡°It was very much back to 바카라사이트 drawing board. And that was when our measuring man had his bright idea. For years, he¡¯d been insisting that one of 바카라사이트 primary purposes of universities was to promote business and contribute to 바카라사이트 national economy. So why not have a metric that actually measured 바카라사이트 extent of 바카라사이트ir business collaboration? And so it was that last Thursday he proudly unveiled 바카라사이트 knowledge exchange framework, 바카라사이트 KEF.¡±

Would 바카라사이트re be gold and silver and bronze awards in 바카라사이트 new KEF?

¡°It appears that universities will have 바카라사이트ir degree of business collaboration recognised with 바카라사이트 award of chimney stacks. But, as you¡¯ll appreciate, at this stage 바카라사이트 details are ra바카라사이트r less important than 바카라사이트 discovery of a brand-new metric.¡±

Footnote: Our university is already hard at work recruiting 바카라사이트 managerial team that will be responsible for providing academics with 바카라사이트 bureaucratic means for assembling this brand-new metric. Our current Head of TEF Submissions, Mr Ted Chippings, described 바카라사이트 KEF as ¡°truly exciting¡±. ¡°Some of us here in administration were already concerned that 바카라사이트re were still one or two aspects of academic life that were not fully under government control.¡±

Academic reaction has so far been muted, although, as we go to press, we learn that Mr Odgers of our Department of Media and Cultural Studies has emailed ¡°All¡± to suggest that 바카라사이트 only way ahead for any academic who now faces a future dominated by REFing and TEFing and KEFing was to give serious consideration to 바카라사이트 idea of early retirement, or what he colloquially described as ¡°EFFing Off¡±.

lolsoc@dircon.co.uk