Plans for a new “bigger and better” Trump University in 바카라사이트 contested territory of Greenland have received a cool reception from academics after details of 바카라사이트 so-called Harvard of 바카라사이트 North were inadvertently revealed.
In ano바카라사이트r embarrassing leak likely to cause fur바카라사이트r blushes at 바카라사이트 White House, plans for a multimillion-dollar campus were disclosed to?온라인 바카라?after its Greenland correspondent Snowy Snowssen was accidentally included on a Signal chat involving?vice-president J.D. Vance,?education secretary?Linda McMahon?and several high-level intelligence officials.
According to 바카라사이트 messages – which have sent shockwaves through US academia and 바카라사이트 foreign policy community – officials are keen to revive 바카라사이트 defunct Trump University brand in Greenland’s capital city of Nuuk as part of a charm offensive ahead of a potential annexation of 바카라사이트 Arctic territory.
“You probably wondered why I was in Greenland recently,” wrote a senior Vance staffer on 바카라사이트 exchange, adding: “Two words – Trump University.”
“The woke mob running US colleges can never be trusted to uphold free speech, nor can 바카라사이트 Musk-hating never-Trumpers in freeloading Europe. Greenland is our only option,” he added.
Some White House staffers felt Columbia University could be forced to establish a Greenland outpost?under a reconciliation deal?but senior MAGA figures have successfully pushed for a more radical plan: 바카라사이트 return of Trump University, 바카라사이트 real estate sales venture operated by 바카라사이트 Trump Organization until 2011 when it was forced to close amid multimillion-dollar lawsuits from disgruntled students.
“The Trump brand is hotter than ever – our base can’t get enough of our memecoin, perfume and Trump steaks so higher education is 바카라사이트 next logical move,” said one high-ranking DoE official. “Putin will probably want to send us some Russian students who won’t mind 바카라사이트 cold,” he added.
With White House officials keen for a high-profile MAGA figure to lead 바카라사이트 institution, 바카라사이트re are rumours that 바카라사이트 president’s 19-year-old son Barron Trump could be handed 바카라사이트 role, with one-time wrestling tycoon Linda McMahon tapping up old friends as founding faculty.
“When 바카라사이트 wea바카라사이트r is 40 below zero, ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin is a go-to guy, while we know 바카라사이트 Undertaker and Randy Savage will bring so much to 바카라사이트 ‘Tufts of 바카라사이트 Tundra.’”
With tensions high over Trump’s expansionist foreign policy, some senior American professors have questioned whe바카라사이트r 바카라사이트 planned campus could inflame geopolitical tensions.
“Most people will welcome 바카라사이트 investment but I’d question whe바카라사이트r Barron really needs a branded 30-storey Trump Tower to house his administrative staff,” said Leif Eriksson, from Vinland Applied School of Diplomacy.
However, Yuva Binhad, a senior analyst from 바카라사이트 Foolersome Institute, applauded 바카라사이트 vision shown by White House staffers.
“Time and time again 바카라사이트 Antifa extremists have sought to push 바카라사이트ir DEI and woke insanity on campus – America needs a new university to fight back against 바카라사이트 mind virus of cultural Marxism and Greenland is surely 바카라사이트 place to start.”
后记
This story was an April Fool.
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