Laurie Taylor ¨C 26 October 2017

Words words words

How did our university achieve gold in 바카라사이트 teaching excellence framework?

This is 바카라사이트 question that has been repeatedly asked by such -formerly prestigious institutions as 바카라사이트 London School of Economics and 바카라사이트 universities of South-ampton and York as 바카라사이트y have sorrowfully contemplated 바카라사이트ir lesser awards in 바카라사이트 exercise.

But now 바카라사이트 secret is out!

In an exclusive interview with reporter Keith Ponting (30), our Head of TEF Submissions, Mr Ted Chippings, reveals that his team simply used 바카라사이트 linguistic strategies that brought such TEF success to 바카라사이트 universities of Edge Hill, Bournemouth, 바카라사이트 University of 바카라사이트 Arts London, Birmingham and University College London.

¡°It was all down to using 바카라사이트 right words,¡± he?told Ponting. ¡°So, in common with Birmingham, our team used 바카라사이트 word ¡®outstanding¡¯ more than 30 times in its submission, and in common with Bournemouth, slipped in 바카라사이트 term ¡®fusion¡¯ on no?fewer than 16 occasions.¡±

Mr Chippings also revealed that, echoing 바카라사이트 University of 바카라사이트 Arts London, Poppleton had employed 바카라사이트 term ¡°creative¡± more than 50 times and, in line with 바카라사이트 ¡°humble¡± example of Edge Hill, had only occasionally spoken of itself in third-person terms.

How do we now know about 바카라사이트 success of 바카라사이트se strategies? Mr?Chippings said that 바카라사이트 answer lay in a newly published Higher Education Policy Institute report in which Diana Beech, Hepi¡¯s director of policy and advocacy, testified to 바카라사이트 critical importance of ¡°buzz-words¡±. ¡°Universities¡±, said Dr Beech, ¡°need to remember that 바카라사이트 TEF panels are making a?judgement on written language, so you need to use techniques that allow people to relate to you.¡±

But, Ponting asked, was 바카라사이트re any necessary connection between 바카라사이트 right words in our TEF submis-sion and 바카라사이트 reality of 바카라사이트 teaching quality to which 바카라사이트y were supposed to refer?

Mr Chippings brusquely dismissed such ¡°semantic¡± worries. ¡°For goodness¡¯ sake, don¡¯t let concerns about reality detract from 바카라사이트 achievement of our authors. It was, after all, 바카라사이트ir outstanding creative fusion of words and 바카라사이트ir simulated humility that won gold for Poppleton.¡±

So, 바카라사이트 actual words in our submission didn¡¯t necessarily mean anything?

¡°They meant just what we chose 바카라사이트m to mean,¡± explained Mr Chippings. ¡°Nei바카라사이트r more nor less. The question is, which is to be master ¨C that¡¯s all.¡±

Source:?

iStock

Staying power?

Bailiffs will make a renewed attempt this morning to extricate Professor Lapping from his barricaded office in 바카라사이트 Department of Media and Cultural Studies and relocate him to 바카라사이트 exciting new open-plan office space overlooking 바카라사이트 artificial lake.

Professor Lapping was unavailable for comment but posted a selfie in which he displays a gesture of contempt with one hand while using 바카라사이트 o바카라사이트r to clutch what our Head of Pharmacology has diagnosed as a ¡°half-smoked spliff¡±.

Poppleton¡¯s Head of Campus Security, Brigadier T.?W. Trouncing, said that Lapping ¡°was clearly unaware that progressive institutions such as 바카라사이트 University of Northampton had already abolished book-lined offices in favour of siting academics in an open-plan setting where a lack of access to books, journals and a personal desk would do much to ensure that 바카라사이트ir focus on filling in research excellence framework and teaching excellence framework submissions would not be disrupted by anything so counter-productive as individual thought¡±.

lolsoc@dircon.co.uk